Yesterday was a shitty day that turned good. It seems I may’ve accidentally stumbled upon a cure for my anxiety. I’m still on Lexapro (took my second dose) and taking lorazepam as needed, but if I’m really on to something, hopefully I won’t need much of either for too long.

For the first 6 hours or so of my day, I was horribly anxious. At first it was mostly emotional anxiety with a little of it being physical. You know, as in those butterflies we feel in our stomach when our adrenaline gets pumping? Even with lorazepam I could still feel symptoms, as Stacey said I could. Eventually, I fell into bed and bawled my eyes out in despair and frustration. Then my heart started racing. It was annoyingly elevated but not so much that it got scary.

I then got up and ate some chicken I baked and then started coloring. After a while of that, I realized I was me again. Totally me. I felt not one shred of anxiety! It was wonderful to have myself back, not that I expected it to last, but it did for the rest of my day, including on our quick visit to Walgreens where I got a cute little gray rubber rat (hey, I couldn’t resist) and some light orange lip gloss.

I’m enjoying my new nectarine wax in the warmer on my desk, and have sandalwood warming in the bedroom.

Anyway, when I realized I was calm after eating my chicken, I remembered mentioning calming down after eating in past entries. So I pulled up my 2015 journal and found that I’d eaten chicken. Then I did some research on foods that are said to help ease anxiety, and sure enough, chicken was one of the ones mentioned.

I don’t want to get my hopes up, but if I could just down a slice or two of chicken anytime I felt the anxiety bite, that’d be awesome!

I slept better than last time, but still not as well as I’d like. I woke up 4 or 5 times along the way, twice warm and with a slightly racy heart. Five hours into my sleep I took a lorazepam.

The one time I wish I would get a little anxious so I could test the chicken again, I don’t, LOL. It’s just barely there under the surface, but as soon as it rears up again, the chicken will be waiting and ready to hopefully attack with a vengeance!