Really, REALLY getting sick of Aly’s constant demands and expectations. The way she (although not intentionally) makes me feel guilty is rather insulting. She’s gonna lose me or make me wish she’d just dump me if she can’t remember that I can’t be everywhere at once. It isn’t that I don’t care. It isn’t that I’ve forgotten she’s in a shitty way. But I can’t be available 24fucking7! A little less selfishness and a little more consideration would be appreciated. :)

We all have tough times and it’s only natural to reach out to those we care about. But we still have to keep in mind that people need to live their own lives, too. Sometimes they need to sleep. Sometimes they need to do things, and well, I’m really getting sick and tired of having to remind her of this and if they don’t want to lose me, they should back off a bit and cut me some slack. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing either.

If I could make copies of myself, I would do so in a heartbeat! That way everyone I care about could have me around whenever they wanted/needed me. But I’m not a machine and I feel insulted when she makes it like I haven’t been there for her when I have. Every. Single. Day. It may not be in text form as she prefers but in some form or another.

As I told her, if I’m asleep or out running errands when you’re feeling down and out, please don’t assume it’s cuz I don’t give a shit, okay? :) That’s all I’m asking. Eventually, I’m going to get sick of feeling like I have to explain myself and I’m going to get sick of having to remind people that I can’t spend every waking moment socializing.

God, how’s she going to survive my vacation?!

Getting so excited as it gets down to just 4 days to go! I can already hear the plane’s engines revving and roaring in my head! Can’t wait!

Tom picked up some space bags that are really awesome and we might not need that third suitcase after all. Love how you don’t need a vacuum for them. You just stuff the clothes in, push the air out, and that’s it. They look like giant Ziploc bags and have 1-way valves. Great way to keep clean clothes separate from dirty ones, and to keep clean ones organized. I’ve got dresses in one bag, tops in another, and shorts and swimsuits in another. Socks, bras and undies can go in a side pocket. Tom’s clothes only required 1 bag instead of 3. LOL, typical male, huh?

Decided not to take the 3 pants/shirt sets I was going to take. The trip is 10 days and I have 15 days’ worth of clothes without them.

Woke up to a message from Tammy asking me to call her. She wanted to verify if we made hotel reservations and said that since we had to go by her place on the way there anyway, she wanted us to stop by because it would kill her to know we were so close yet hadn’t seen each other yet, LOL. I assured her we would stop by. We’re both super excited!

Won’t be meeting Mark until Sunday, however, because every year he meets his brother at a men’s retreat and this was planned long before we knew we were coming. So we’ll visit the 4th – 7th. On the 8th, I’ll be dragging my then no doubt exhausted ass out of bed right before check-out to jump on the plane home.

Again, I’m going to try to document at least quick little highlights of the journey as it unfolds, but may not get a chance to provide details. Then again, I may not get online at all. No guarantees.

Anxiety was a little more noticeable than it has been a while last night, but nothing catastrophic. It’s stable so far today. No doubt it’s tied into menopause. No doubt at all. Just wish I’d caught on sooner and that the Sutter “experts” had, too. Meanwhile, I’ve got my coping tools if it does pick up. Part of the trip excitement is probably fueling it, if not knowing I’ll be alone in the morning.

LMAO at the snow dumped all over New England. Not the accidents and the power outages, of course, but everything else. Poor little Andy.