Went out walking at dusk and even picked out the lucky recipient of my dream journal once it’s complete. I decided it might be more likely to be read by someone who found it on their doorstep than by some random person in the clubhouse. I want a house with a door close to the road so I can leave it and walk off with less chance of being seen. I’d do it in the middle of the night, of course. There are a couple of potential readers of my dreams actually. It just would be nice if I could remember more of them so I could finish the damn book. 

I mixed running and walking as I usually do. The temperature was perfect and there was just enough light to see. I like to start off chilly because I know I’m going to feel like the temperature rose 10° by the time I get done. The turkeys had settled in the giant Cali oaks for the night. I could see them above me as I walked by the area alongside the ditch. Amazing how such huge birds can sleep up there without falling out, even though they could just flap their wings and keep from being injured. I wonder if the fugly things ever get cold up there at night or if the summer heat ever gets to them. Or are they completely oblivious to temperature? 

There were still quite a few cars going by, but no people. Never heard any barking inside or outside the park nor did I hear any loud music. It was quite peaceful actually. 

Tom was at the door when I got back and said he was just about to go looking for me as it seemed like I’d been gone a long time, like 40 minutes. Really? I didn’t wear my Fitbit, but it felt like it was the typical half-hour. I talk less and move faster when I work out alone. 

Wore my Fitbit to bed and my HR dropped to 64 and spiked to 95 upon waking up. Because I’m not wearing it all the time these days I laughed when it tried to tell me my average RHR was 77. LOL, try 85-90. My fast ticker in conjunction with perimenopause is why I can’t handle higher doses of levothyroxine, thus keeping my numbers almost perfect instead of perfect. Trust me, I’d have my numbers totally off the charts before I went through the hell I went through ever again! I’ve been feeling FABULOUS and I would like to keep it that way. So no going over 75 mcgs of levothyroxine and no returning to statins. 

Tammy's probably going to laugh at this one just like I laughed at Tom’s attempt to speak some of the Dutch words I’ve learned. When discussing my juicing plans with Tom I said, “That way I can get rid of all my cholesterol and there should be no more left in me.” 

But then he reminded me that some cholesterol is both good and necessary and that our bodies produce it much like sugar and sodium. Yeah, but hopefully my body isn’t producing so damn much of it with my thyroid treated and me avoiding cholesterol as much as I can. 

He stopped at Walmart after work for his BP meds and my thyroid meds and grabbed a cooked pizza for the first time. It wasn’t that bad at all. Glad I love to run. This way, while I’ll never lose more weight, I’ll at least not gain either. 

Really wish Amazon could stick to their delivery dates. We ordered a middle-of-the-road juicer (I’ll get a better one later on if I really like this one), and it was supposed to arrive today. Instead, it’s not going to be here till Friday. I got the produce ready to make Green Lemonade. Got this recipe from a juicing site. 

Later… 

Finished all the episodes of Criminal Minds on Netflix that I wanted to watch, and now I’m trying out CSI Miami. Haven’t watched enough yet to really get a sense of whether or not I can get into it. 

So Leslie Van Houten is up for parole for something like the 21st time. I was only 4 when the Tate/Labianca murders went down. What I don’t get is how she’s eligible for parole with two kills while Jodi Arias gets life without parole for just one kill. I guess that’s just our typical twisted laws for you. I wouldn’t worry for myself much if I beat someone up, but if I hurt someone’s feelings or offended them… the law could come after me like I’d just kicked the crap out of a dozen old ladies or something. 

My opinion on whether or not she should be set free is mixed. Would she really have gone down the path she went down if she never met Charles Manson? Should she still be punished for something she did when she was just 19 years old? Where could she possibly go if she were set free? I doubt she has much in the way of family or anyone who would give a shit about her, family or not, and where could she go that would actually be safe for her? I don't believe she would harm anybody, but I think others would try to harm her. As it is I don’t understand why no one’s killed Casey Anthony yet. 

On the flip side, what she did was totally heinous, and if most of us won't even forgive someone for offending us, then why should we forgive a murderess and give her her freedom? 

Speaking of forgiveness and all that… I’ve also been asked if I would forgive and or speak to Nane if she contacted me. I don’t know that either. Meaning the answer’s the same as I gave when asked about Aly. It would probably depend on what mood I was in at the time. Bad mood = a tendency to focus on a person’s negative traits. Good mood = a tendency to look at their good side and why I once cared about them in the first place. 

My general rule, however, is “Never forgive, never forget.” And when I speak of “forgiving,” I mean allowing someone back into my life who has been absent from it. Generally speaking, I don’t allow re-entry because past experience has taught me that this is just giving them an opportunity to screw me again, one which they won’t usually pass up. 

But again, I can’t predict for sure how I’d react to hearing from them in the future, not that they’re going to contact me. Therefore, we won’t be finding out how I’d react. They may at least be reading my journal, though. Aly, I don’t know because she usually prefers my-diary because I can’t track visitors there. If she’s reading me elsewhere then she’s flying under radar. Germany is runner-up to my US visitors on Blogger and I wonder if that could be connected to Nane, Christiane or both, but it doesn’t matter either way. They can read or not read same as anyone else I make my stuff public to.