Rachel says: Textbook crush on a therapist. Well, I’ve never had a crush on one before and I’ve had at least a dozen in my lifetime. Martha was a bit attractive who I saw in the early ‘90s back east, but she didn’t make nearly as much of an impression as Stacey’s made on me.

She also says she’d be surprised if she contacted me directly and that it’d be a bit against ethics. I would still be surprised too, but I don’t think she’d be doing anything unethical since we’ve accomplished what we set out to do and are done with each other on a professional level. She gave me the coping tools I needed in order to deal with anxiety and help prevent it from turning into full-blown panic attacks, but hopefully I will never be on enough medication that can induce such extreme anxiety again.

I asked Tom if he was surprised we exchanged info and talked about keeping in touch outside of her office, and he said no.

Do I think she’ll contact me? shrugs No one I’ve ever wanted to has yet, so probably not. Like I said, I’ll call in a few months or so, but I don’t expect her to contact me, let alone visit me.

Looked in on her husband’s pics again and am even more confused about her family. Based on my research I was under the impression that she had one grown son. Yet I saw two pics of their son Noah posted in 2010, and in it, he appears to be about 8. At first glance, I assumed it was her grandson or maybe a nephew. He was alone in one pic, and with Stacey in another. They appeared to be camping or hiking somewhere and they were both giving the sign for “I love you.”

Noah appeared to be between 8-10, probably closer to 8. But even if he were 10, he’d still be a minor. Then why did she say her son lived on Ophir Road? Does she have more than one son? Having a kid living with her would explain why she’s got a 3-bedroom and a basketball hoop over the garage. I mean, sure… she and her husband could sleep separately and want a spare room for guests, storage or whatever, but I would think a couple in their age group would want to downsize if it was just them. Of course, just because the pics were posted in 2010 doesn’t mean they were taken then. The kid could also look younger than he is.

What I wonder most is even if she did want to see me, where would she find the time? She works full time and if she has a son, friends and other family in the area, how could she make time for us? How would we get any privacy, even if we didn’t “do” anything?

It’s possible she could be divorced or separated and her son could be living with their father, but I don’t get that impression at all. Why would she live in such a big house if that were the case, and why would she be connected to him on Facebook? But then why does he have a different last name? Pretty sure A is her maiden name.

I’ve gone over and over it again in my mind and she truly does seem to like me. Then again, Johnson did too, yet we never met. I still gotta assume the Staceys of this world are not allowed be it for friends or fuck buddies, and expect not to hear from her. She’d probably return my call, but that’s about it. I don’t see us making arrangements to meet, and unless we went out somewhere by ourselves, Tom would be with us here and I guess her husband and son would be with us at her place.

Eh, I don’t want to overthink and overanalyze things. She’s in my past. Unless I have a setback, then after my fall call (I thought I’d wait till around November) it will be time to move on and file her away as a wonderful memory.

Aly hasn’t appeared to have checked into her Twitter account since the 9th. Has she abandoned the account now that she knows I know about it? Or is something wrong? My guess is she’s keeping in touch with friends elsewhere, but she’s the last one I want to put much thought into. Yeah, I’d rather think of Stacey all the time than Aly.

I do wonder about Marie, though. Her account has been deactivated. I posted a note on my wall asking if anyone knows what’s up with her. She seemed to be doing well, but Marie has been known to take a tumble overnight, so anything’s possible.

The fucking water was off from 9:00 - 2:30 yesterday. I would’ve missed the notice too, had I not opened the front door to let some fresh air in. We only go out that door every day or two to get the mail. I anonymously let them know just what I thought about that and the motorcycles online by using fake details. Personally, I don’t care if they trace it back to me at this point. I’m fed up with the water issues being so frequent, nobody’s fault or not. Or is it? Pipes get old, yes, but Virginia said this has been going on since they moved in nearly 30 years ago.

I talked to Mr. “Twenties” briefly yesterday. I like him better than Mrs. Twenties so far. He was trimming the trees in front of his place cuz they were blocking the stop sign.

I was so annoyed for a while yesterday, not just over the water issues, but someone with a golf cart stopped to talk to Mr. Twenties while their damn dog yipped up a storm. Really hope they didn’t get a dog too, cuz I swore I heard barking coming from that direction after the cart left. Like maybe it was barking out an open door or something. Could’ve been coming from over the wall though I doubt it. I just hope the Twenties and the people next to them remain muttless or else they’ll bark out open doors and windows every time they step outside or someone walks by.

Tom only worked half a day yesterday because of the company picnic. He didn’t feel like going to it cuz he’s just not big on mixing business with pleasure.

Talked to Tammy who sounded better than expected. She got a huge scare when she had an allergic reaction to things in the air and her throat, esophagus and lungs closed up. Unfortunately, she got her own taste of fearing she was about to die. I can just imagine how horrifying it must’ve been. They almost put her on a ventilator. She’s on steroids and all kinds of other shit.

Sarah’s going to some training seminar in Miami on account of a job promotion she got.

As usual, Bill had to come up when she said that Sarah’s car had tire issues and she automatically called the bastard like she always used to just to end up calling Tammy in tears. Hey, I’m sorry for the girl. I really am. But ENOUGH IS ENOUGH WITH THE BILL TALK! I don’t want to hear about him or be reminded of him in any way. I hate the bastard even in death and will never forgive him for leading the blacks to our door. As it is I can’t stand to follow my nieces anymore on Facebook. It’s all dad this, dad that.

Had a dream my cousin Phil was wheeled past me in a wheelchair. He looked like he’d put on some weight since I last saw him and he seemed pretty out of it too, never saying a word as he passed by me.

Later…

Went to Walmart where I started getting dizzy after doing better these last few days. It backed off a bit once we got home and I ate. I even skied for a half hour. Now I’m just fatigued.

Aly checked in saying she’d been busy, but she totally ignored me of course. Ok, she is NOW TOTALLY 100% in the past.

I’ll focus on Stacey instead… even if I know it’s a waste of time.