So first I thought Tammy had a heart attack, then I thought she was just close to having one, but today I talked to her now that she’s home and stabilized and yes she did. The heart attack was not only happening when the paramedics picked her up Thursday morning but a few days before this as well.

She had jaw and upper back pain. I remember reading an article about a woman who had these pains and didn’t know why. She kept taking pain relievers to get rid of the pain. She eventually went to the ER and the doctor told her it was a good thing she came in because she was having a heart attack.

As I told her today on the phone, I’ve had a feeling for years now that I would eventually die of a heart attack or stroke as opposed to cancer or an accident or anything else. I’ve also had a bad feeling for her for when she’s around 63, but I don’t have a 100% accuracy rate so that leaves room for hope. Maybe nothing significant will happen to her at that time.

I wonder about those little things we can’t always be sure of, though. At least not unless it kills us. Like that 20 seconds or so of cramps that shot through my left chest last night. It seemed to be behind my boob. At this point, I still think my heart and arteries are fine, especially since the carotid ultrasound didn’t show anything scary, but she urged me to get checked nonetheless. I’ll eventually have a cardiologist to a stress test on me. Heart disease does run rampant in our family and has been the cause of death for almost everyone in the family that I know of. I’d be willing to bet just about anything it would’ve taken out Larry had he not gotten liver cancer first. My problem is that I’m sensitive to medication, so treatment isn’t always an option for me.

Anyway, we were both feeling a little anxious when I called her. Her because she sees the heart doctor tomorrow, me probably because of the perimenopause. It was nothing scary, just a slight elevation being a little over 100 BPM. BP was great today, though, at 115. Tammy and I helped calm each other down just by chatting.

She told me more of what she went through… how scared she was, how they tried to insert the stents into her wrist but had to go through her groin. How she had a nice view from her private room, but couldn’t get much sleep there because they were always waking her up to do something. A nurse will be going to her house.

It brings tears to my eyes to think of all she’s gone through and she’s not even 60 yet. As she admitted, though, it’s been a scary ordeal. As I tell her, she’s still the stronger one.

She loves the flowers, she told me. She sees flowers like I would see a bunch of perfume or a really nice, realistic-looking doll. It’s a good thing I knew her favorite color is purple otherwise she would’ve gotten rainbow roses. She’d have liked those too, though, and damn was they gorgeous! The only ones I considered ugly were the giant sunflowers in a brown vase that matched the centers of the flowers. White, yellow and orange flowers never appealed to me. I’m more of a pink and purple person with some blues and reds.

Anyway, I’m glad that for right now my worst problem is hammering at the Twenties, and a very definite “menopot.” Seriously, LOL, I have never been this bloated in my life. Any more and I’ll barely be able to bend over. Tom and Stacey may not think so but I think I look like shit. Not the worst in the world mind you, but shitty enough. If I haven’t had a period by around September 10th, though, I’m going to think this could be it.

Hitting the lab tomorrow afternoon and one of the tests will be my estrogen levels. Hopefully the idiots will post the numbers online like they’re supposed to instead of waiting for days and eventually calling me, and I’ll get a sense of just how far into the perimenopause I am, but at this point, I can’t believe I’ve got much further to go… or that I’ll ever be under a size 10-12 again.

Haven’t had any dizziness or fatigue (other than a little fatigue from not sleeping well) in about a week, and I wonder if that one Benadryl was more helpful than I realized. But my ear still aches more often than it should, and I wake up more often than I should, too. Maybe I’ll take lorazepam before bed so I’m more likely to wake up less often. Even if I don’t refill my prescription, I might as well use what I have when I feel I could benefit from it.

I think that pretty much covers everything for now. I don’t care about what my estrogen score is, but I sure do worry about the TSH, T4, and lipid panel. The only one I expect to really flunk out on those is the lipid. And then I’m going to have one hell of a cholesterol-fueled party for a day or two and then jump on the Slim Fast or Special K diet…maybe. I can’t force weight off that my body doesn’t want to give up no matter how much I may diet and exercise.

The Mayo Clinic (or was it WebMD?) recommends smaller more frequent meals for the menopot problem I’m having, but that’s not any easier to stick to than larger less frequent meals. You go crazy with hunger due to the waiting time between the larger less frequent meals as you do with skimpy little meals that are just never enough to fill you up. Oh well. Cheeseburgers first, diet plans later. :)