Tammy’s home! I don’t know why I thought she was to have a 12-hour operation. Maybe I misunderstood her? The installing of the stents was actually a quick and simple procedure. Sarah updated me yesterday to let me know that she was doing great and able to get around. Hopefully, this will help her to become more active. Being forced to just sit around doing nothing is no way to live. Honestly, I’d rather die than be in a wheelchair for life if those were my only options. Anyway, I guess they placed one stent in in the daytime, then another late at night.

Not judging her way of thinking and believing, of course, but not surprisingly, she’s thanking God for having her saved in the nick of time. Yeah, that’s great if one exists, but wouldn’t it be nice if it stopped picking on her in the first place? You can’t ignore the fact that she’s had one problem after the other and there’s no point in trying to kid ourselves about it or “justify” it in any way like some people would do by saying, “Oh, He’s just testing me,” or something like that. I mean, that was a helluva test! I personally would be pretty fucking pissed if I were dragged that close to death and scared shitless along the way, and I sure was when I thought that was exactly what was happening a couple of years ago. I felt like something was teasing me with life and death and I was like, will you just kill me already if you’re going to?!

She advised me to tell Dr. A, saying it’s something you either have or you don’t… even if you work out. Yeah, I know, but is it what Dad had or could any of it be from smoking? I wonder this and I asked her to let me know when she gets the chance, and how she knew it was time to call the paramedics. I just wonder what her symptoms were. I’m guessing chest pain and trouble breathing but look at me two years ago. I thought I was having a heart attack and needed to call them. Instead, I ended up costing us a few hundred bucks all for nothing. Better to be safe than sorry, but I’d really rather not repeat this mistake.

I intend to tell Dr. A, as I do keep her up to date on the family (what’s left of it), but I’m not worried about myself right now, even if I know no one’s invincible. It’s just that with the way medication and I don’t usually get along, I’d rather die younger than take medication that’s either going to make me think it’s going to kill me or maybe even wish that it would.

Her flowers should arrive tomorrow. We ordered 20 purple flowers in a purple vase since purple is her favorite color. Cost a ridiculous $71, but she deserves it and I know she’ll love it.

The good news is that I haven’t been dizzy or fatigued since Friday. The bad is that it’s been noisy the last few days, as usual. The typical landscaping, traffic and project annoyances. Yesterday it was door-slamming day. Today was hammering day.

Walked outdoors yesterday evening, said hello to Geri along the way, and will probably do the same tonight. I did an office walk. I call each route a different name, depending on where in the park I go and how long I feel like walking. A duck walk is the shortest route we take. Then there’s an office walk, an RV walk, and a perimeter walk. My hip joints have been doing great. I walked for 30 minutes and my HR peaked at 149.

Despite my best efforts at working out and portion control, I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. I now usually wake up at 153-154. I’m sure the 140s are a definite thing of the past by now as me losing 5 pounds is like a young person losing 50. It’s just not going to happen. So I guess in my 30s I could still lose weight. In my 40s I could maintain it. In my 50s I probably won’t be able to stop gaining. I know I’m going to crash into the 160s sooner or later. The question is how high will it go before I die? 160s? 180s? 200? Higher?

I sure have been doing a lot of driving in my dreams lately. I was driving Tom and I somewhere, only the wheel was on the other side like in England. Suddenly, the seat was too far back and my feet could barely reach the pedals. I stopped the car and Tom got out. Then he came around to my side, sure that he could solve the problem simply by placing a wad of Kleenex under my foot.