Tammy is now 62 and I’m still worried about her. The bad vibe I have for her this year may not be as strong but it’s still there. This isn’t a dream premonition like the dream I had of her losing a lot of weight before she did in real life, and I didn’t even know that dream was a sign and an actual premonition at the time I had it. Sometimes I don’t know what dreams may have any real meanings whereas other times I get a distinct feeling right away that it means something.

The bad feeling I’ve had for when she’s 62 was never a dream but just a feeling, a vibe, or whatever you want to call it. I can’t say what it is, but I have a very faint feeling it may be heart-related. Can’t swear to that one, though. I only know something big is likely to happen within the next year and it’s likely not good. I wish I could say I had a hit-or-miss accuracy rate, but unfortunately, I don’t. Tammy’s had enough shit, so “good” at this or not, I’m going to hope for the best.

My book Heart of the Forest is now on Kobo, so that makes 12 books! The editing and submission of Rainstorm is next.

Been having triple-digit weather and even I’m getting a little tired of the heat. How did I handle the desert all those years? I guess I was younger and skinnier. Made for a nice swim earlier, though. This may very well be our last triple-digit day of the year.

The clubhouse and the parking lot by the pool were packed, so something was going on there. The good thing about that is that it keeps people out of the pool so we can have it to ourselves. There was just one lady there that we’ve seen before and she left not long after we got there.

We saw the Twenties parked there and when I mentioned them being social butterflies, Tom said, “Nothing wrong with that.”

That’s right. There is nothing wrong with that. Neither is choosing to be friendless or close enough to it as we do. As Tom said, too many bad experiences in the past are why he is the way he is. Same here. I’ve got years' worth of journals full of entries about friends gone bad. I adore the few I have and I hope they’ll always be in my life, but for the most part, I really do believe there’s more bad out there than good and it’s important to be careful. It isn’t just that. Even if everyone was wonderful, I don’t feel the need to have a large circle of friends like many people do.

It’s people like Andy who feel the need to judge others for not being like they are or “normal” that I have a problem with, but that’s part of why I’m not a people person. I may not be perfect myself - far from it - but there are too many liars and narcissistic, selfish, intolerant and controlling people out there, not to mention those who aren’t right in the head, which can be the trickiest to deal with, especially if they’re delusional. If someone accuses you of spreading a rumor about them, for example, even if you know damn well you didn’t, you can tell them you didn’t, but you can’t make them believe you.

The funny thing is that I make friends rather easily for one who prefers to stick to herself. I’m just selfish that way, I guess. I like to spend most of my time on Tom, my pets, and myself. :-)

Finished up the laundry and changed both the rats’ and pigs’ cages. The digital shopping list is next.

Feeling a little off tonight, though I don’t know if anxious is the right word to describe it.

Alyssa put on a new profile picture of her and her family and where most babies are an ugly mass of fat and wrinkles, hers is cute. Getting more convinced she’s not reading anything I send so unless I’m incredibly bored, I don’t know that I’ll continue sending my life updates.

Had a dream about my cousin Phil which put him on my mind. He and a girlfriend had a house and I stayed with them for a few days. When I left, I came back for something I had forgotten a day or so later while they were out. Finding the glasses I left in the spare bedroom upstairs, I started down the stairs when I heard Phil come in and thought he would be upset with me for entering the house when no one was home. Instead, he called out my name happily and I told him I had come for stuff I forgot.

Even though it’s going against my do not reach out to those who don’t give a shit rule, I messaged him even though I don’t expect a reply. I do miss him at times, though. He was sort of like a big brother to me.

Noticed that Dixie has been a lot quieter so I sent an email and will see if I get the few paragraphs I used to get or just brief responses like “nice pics” and “thanks for the update” with nothing else about herself, Diane or politics, as that might tell me something if I do. Remember those delusional people not quite right in the head I mentioned? Well, I’m not saying she’s one of them because I don’t know her that well, but I’m usually a pretty good enough judge of character to get a general sense of what one may or may not be capable of when I meet them and let’s just say that Dixie strikes me as much more likely to get accusatory over something totally imaginative or misconstrued than people like Bob and Virginia would. Again, not saying that’s the case and I can’t imagine why she may be avoiding me if she actually is, but that’s the problem with the mentally unstable; they’re as unpredictable as they are predictable. Anything can be a problem for them at any time, real or imagined. I’ll wait and see what she says, though, before I assume too much.