Watching the Alex Cooper story on Hulu makes me dislike Mormons even more than I already do. Yeah, folks, hate breeds hate and I make no apologies for the ill feelings I have for them. Some people really do make their own haters by their own shitty, hateful, cruel, twisted and unfair behavior.

Damn the person that invented religion! It’s done a hell of a lot more harm than good because so many use it as a weapon to judge, criticize and condemn others. Why the hell do you have to condemn those who are different just because you have a particular way in mind you like to live by that works for you? I’m disgusted, ashamed and appalled by the way so many Mormons and their sick churches treat those who are different. Stop playing the God that likely doesn’t even exist!

I’m also coming to hate living with older people because all they do is drive me crazy. If it isn’t them doing something loud, annoying and distracting, they’re hiring people to do it for them or using younger family members like what I’m guessing is the son or grandson of Dahl. Yeah, again with the fucking hammers and saws, though I think the hammers were contributed by the “leaker” house. The house with the leaky roof that we looked at before this place and decided it would cost too much to fix up. Really, I’m sick of this shit. Just so, SO fucking sick of it! Every other place I’ve lived in I heard projects a few times a year. Here it’s more than a few times a month and it’s ridiculous. No one in an adult community should have to worry that when they have their video appointment with their doctor in a few hours, the background may be filled with annoying and distracting saws and hammers and who knows what else.

This is where I sometimes wonder if there’s a noise curse on me. I think most things are just happenstance or because of someone’s actions. But when I see a pattern, those are the things that make me wonder.

Welfare bums blasting music, screaming kids and barking in Phoenix. Sonic booms and barking in Maricopa. Mutts and boom stereos in Klamath. Jesse’s projects and mutts in Auburn. Projects, landscaping, planes and traffic here. Who the hell gets all this shit??? In houses.

So naturally, my first thought is how utterly appealing being right smack-dab in the middle of a 40-acre parcel of land in the middle of the desert would be. But then I would just have to deal with sonic booms and if I didn’t, we’d have to go back to relying on wells which are always a problem, and goodbye high-speed internet too. We also wouldn’t be able to get help right away in the event of an emergency. We’re healthy right now, but if one of us has a heart attack 20 years from now, I don’t want to have to wait nearly an hour for help when every minute counts. I guess this means that since I’ve been trying to escape noise unsuccessfully for most of my adult life, I might as well quit bothering to try. I think the best we can do is get out of a flight path and off a busy street. Otherwise, there’s always going to be some shit no matter where we go. But if I can get the nights and early mornings back, I’ll settle for that much and just deal with projects, vehicles, barking and whatnot during the daytime. Therefore, we’ll just focus on climate, costs and the house itself when it comes time to hunt for a place, and not worry too much about what’s around it as long as it’s on a quieter street and out of the flight path. It’s 5am now and I can hear the freeway. In another half-hour, the planes will hit the scene.

The fact that there has been so much sawing since the bastard moved in across the street makes me think it can’t all be necessary. They would practically be having to tear it all down and rebuild it from scratch to be needing to cut this much wood. This is why I’m starting to suspect the son does this as a hobby and is using his carport because he’s probably not allowed to do this shit wherever he lives. As I’ve always said, it isn’t so much the residents that are the issue here but their visitors. I’ve never lived in another adult community, so I have nothing to compare it to. I can’t say if this is the new norm for most adult communities, something about this state, or this particular park.

In other news, I finished my book at almost 10K words in 11 days. Decided not to publish it by itself. Instead, I’m going to publish a collection of short stories, but it will be a while before I do that.

Almost a million COVIDs. :( Last I heard they were projecting possibly half a million deaths worldwide by the time this is finally over. That number may be scary in itself but I’m still not worried for us personally when you consider that it isn’t much in comparison to the global population. I still say the odds are in our favor and even if we did get it, it wouldn’t likely be an automatic death sentence.

Norma reacted to one of my posts but I’m guessing that might be because I reacted to a few of hers. In all honesty, I did it to test her. I was curious to see if there would be anything in return. I still don’t hear much from her and I think I can guess why, though I’m okay with it.

Later...

I know I went on quite a rant about bigoted Mormons in light of that movie I saw based on a true story, and I should point out that yes, I know not all Mormons are haters.

It got my mind wandering all different places, though. First, you have people like me who believe that love is love and that if there is a God, he doesn’t hate you for being attracted to the same sex. Then there are those who believe He hates gays and is going to condemn them to hell and alienate them in the afterlife.

I realize that none of us can ever really know the truth. You can believe something, but you can’t know it for a fact without actually seeing it. I totally hate to think of the possibility that others could be right, and I realize that there’s just as much of a possibility of that as there is of me being right. I doubt there’s a God, an afterlife, or anything that hates gays but when you consider that they’re the most discriminated group in history, it does make you wonder. Why would you create a group you knew was going to have to endure so much shit? For one who’s been attracted to both genders, it makes me think about all the shit I’ve gone through in my life. We all go through shit in life but not everyone has a mother as I had, ends up a ward of the state, and I could go on and on with all kinds of other things that seem a bit extreme and not all that common but I won’t. The point is that you can hope something is a certain way but you can never know for sure until you’re actually dead for good unless dead really is just dead.

Had my video appointment with Dr. A. She warned me on the portal that she might be 15 minutes late, but she was a half-hour late. It was different and definitely easier this way.

She called in my refills and confirmed that no, I don’t have polycythemia. I didn’t think so. She said she didn’t see it in my records and said some other term for those with slightly elevated red blood cell counts as I have. I doubt I’ll ever have polycythemia.

So I told her he was laid off and we had a change of insurance and wasn’t sure what was going on with us, and then I made the mistake of telling her that I had a period after 15 months. She said that’s not unheard of but that I shouldn’t have had a period after 12 months and highly recommends I see my GYN in case it’s cancer or some kind of hormonal imbalance. My gut says no cancer. If I hadn’t had PMS symptoms beforehand then I might have worried, but hormonal imbalance? Well, we know my hormones have been crazy for a few years so that one I could buy.

She said my GYN is leaving July 1st and at that point, it came up that we would probably be leaving the state in a year. What was that expression I saw on her face when I told her that? Wish I had the video saved somehow so I could replay it. I’m not sure if it was surprise, disappointment or what but there was definitely some kind of reaction. I didn’t expect that since I’m sure all doctors have patients coming and going throughout their careers.

Anyway, a part of me is sorry I mentioned the period because I not only hate lady exams but the last thing I want is another appointment. And then I fucked up with the schedule program when her nurse called practically 2 minutes after our video chat to schedule me for my next appointment with Doc A in October and the GYN. My schedule has been jumping a little faster lately for some reason and I accidentally set the program to p.m. when it should have been a.m. We’re going to leave it for now rather than call back to reschedule because I plan to try to push it to make my ENT 20 days beforehand. So if I can push it for that I might be able to make the GYN as well. The ENT is on June 10th and the GYN is on the 30th, Dr. G’s last day.