Oh, those pesky doctors. I know they’re just doing their job, but they’re frustrating anyway. I received a message from my GYN’s office wanting me to come in this week for the procedure. They had a late afternoon appointment available on the 8th I could have made but then I said wait a minute. The “procedure?” I thought this was just for a regular PAP.

But not only does she want to do that and a mammogram, but she also wants to do an endometrial biopsy ASAP. This is the procedure my GYN had told me they put people to sleep for but then her nurse told me I wouldn’t be put to sleep at all. This isn’t the first time I’ve gotten mixed info from this doctor and her staff either. My GYN is a very nice lady and while she may mean well, I’m not interested in any lady exams right now. I totally believe without a doubt that I don’t have cancer. My hormones got a little wacky and triggered a period. That’s all that happened. I agree with Tom’s theory. He thinks it happened because I was low on thyroid.

Then I got a message on the portal from the nurse to the doctor and the doctor’s response. I replied saying I believed that since my thyroid medication makes me anxious at times and I have to taper off the dose periodically, it seems reasonable that it was just a hormone imbalance. Plus, the bleeding did stop a month ago.

The type of biopsy she’s talking about doing would be utterly excruciatingly. If what I had in the late 90s could be as painful as it was with them simply taking pictures, then I don’t see how I could stand to have my uterus cut, no matter how small the cut may be. A woman’s cervix and uterus are her most sensitive parts. You can’t mess with those and not cause pain. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if childbirth had killed me, I’m such a wimp down there. Even if I did have cancer, I could never stand the treatment. I would literally be better off dead and just letting it kill me.

If the bleeding didn’t stop or I’d had no PMS beforehand, then I would think something was up. If I had been bleeding from cancer, the bleeding wouldn’t have stopped. Cancer doesn’t change its mind. But I not only feel confident I don’t have cancer and trust my intuition, I also don’t want to go there with the virus still going on and put myself at risk of getting sick unnecessarily.

She said something about some kind of ultrasound that measures the thickness of my lining or something like that but even that would be painful, and also unnecessary. This wouldn’t be totally free, and we are saving to move. Then there’s a part I can’t tell them and that’s that I know it’s not my time yet.

So I sarcastically joked about her sending me a gift card or taking me to Red Lobster and then maybe I would do it and this seemed to not so much make Tom paranoid but I could tell he didn’t like my being “weird.” I did regret it afterward, I will admit. Then he goes on to say that this isn’t going to stop us from moving but if I get that way with the park or neighbors, it will.

I don’t think so. People don’t have that much control over us. Maybe they once did but part of that was our fault for letting them. We’re smarter people now than we were in the past. And what is the park going to do? Tell us we can’t move because we’re too sarcastic or weird?

Thanks to Lawrence letting his trees grow like crazy in front of his place, it’s invited the woodpecker back to pick shit that blows across and onto our patio roof. Let me guess…we’re the only ones with this problem around here, right? And I’m the only one who got woken up last night by the horrible stench of whatever skunk let one rip close to the house, right? Ugh, it was totally gross. I can’t even go out walking at night anymore because it seems that each year there are more and more of them. I don’t understand why Animal Control isn’t doing anything to get rid of them. They need to start trapping and killing some of these bastards. I don’t give a shit how cute they may be or how much it would piss off the animal rights activists. A person’s right not to have to smell and breathe that shit in should matter more. I’m so fucking sick of this place. Just so, so sick of it. I hate it here for so many reasons!

We had more rain today but there were some clear patches. Clear enough for the planes to be annoying. Why the fuck is anyone traveling now, anyway?

After thinking about it and discussing it some more, yes, we’ll keep all our options open, but we’re much more likely to end up in Florida than anywhere else. Unless we see the perfect piece of land in the perfect location with the perfect house on it, I’m thinking we’ll end up in a Florida park. Yes, I still have my two main concerns…one being how the climate may affect us, and the other being how often storms may take out our power or at least wake me up. But I’m tired of being cold, I miss being closer to beaches, and it’s much more practical when you’re getting older. It’s just so much more convenient. We definitely won’t do big cities anymore, though.

I figure it’s got to be quieter than this if we get a place on a dead-end and out of a flight path. Once we’ve eliminated the planes and the traffic, then all I should have to deal with would be projects, and if there were fewer houses around us, then that’s fewer chances for projects, even though all it takes is one bad neighbor. Just one project junkie is all it takes to ruin the peace. But still, it’s got to be quieter and less of a threat to my sleep as long as the storms don’t make up for the traffic.

Kim has been driving Aly and me crazy lately. Because she’s home all the time with nothing better to do, she’s bombarding us with tons of long rambling, repetitious messages about the same old shit. Even June, this older woman she’s obsessed with, is getting fed up and I guess she told her to stop texting her. If I understood her correctly, she was texting the shit out of her when she was expecting a text from someone important.

I only remember a quick second of a dream I had where I was walking in back of a grocery store looking at cooked foods. I felt a little down but was determined to be as happy as possible as I moved away from the display case and continued on walking through the store.