He and I have been doing more research and what I have is smacking more and more of sleep apnea. Insomnia and nightmares can also be symptoms. Back in 2012 when I first saw a dentist in California, she asked if I had sleep apnea. I told her I didn’t think so and I now wonder what it was she saw in my throat that made her think that. So it probably isn’t connected to my weight, and again, I’m not that big. 

The only thing that concerns me should they confirm it is sleep apnea is if whatever appears to be cursing my sleep all my life does something else to fuck with it. It seems to always find a way to get around whatever I attempt to do to better it. I’d hate to get a CPAP and find that it gives me more energy just to have them go ahead and build up behind us, or for there to be more low-flying helicopters. 

One thing that could be worse than both sleep apnea and heart issues would be if I developed chronic fatigue because there’s nothing they can do for that. At least if it was sleep apnea, there are options, and there would be medication if I had heart issues. Just not necessarily medication I could tolerate, but at least I would have a shot at helping myself. 

Been tired all day, even though I slept 7 hours and got a sleep score of 90. It also says I had two spikes in blood oxygen saturation levels, one of them being a pretty big swing. 

The lack of alone time is getting to me again. Because there aren’t as many jobs at this time of year with the snowbirds being gone, and mostly retail in this area, it may not be until the end of the year before he’s working again. I want him to work so we have extra money and I have more alone time but I don’t want him to work because I know he wouldn’t like that and then I would worry about something going wrong while I was alone.