Talk about a shitty day so far! Really thought my TSH would be 6-7. instead, it’s at 9. I wanted to scream when I saw that. So maybe it really is a progressive disease and it’s continuing to die off because I haven’t gained weight recently. My T4 is still the same as it was when my TSH was at 7. It’s at 1.3. 

A Galileo doc wanted to do a video chat with me so she and I chatted for a few minutes. Since I’ve been feeling OK lately emotionally, we agreed that I would try taking 75s twice a week every other week and once a week every other week. The rest of the time will be 88s. She said I should try waiting an hour before food and drink instead of a half hour which I’ve been doing a lot of the time lately. In six weeks, I go back to the lab.

My endo appointment can’t come fast enough! Of course, neither can the pulmonology appointment. I’m still battling fatigue big time. Tom and I both agree that it’s likely that most of that is on sleep apnea and not thyroid. 

Anyway, the doctor said that maybe there would be a different brand I could take or something like that but I have my doubts. I swear it’s like something wants me fat and tired. I would have to see the endo be of help to believe it. The last two didn’t help but I do understand that times change so maybe there’s something new I don’t know about. 

Yesterday, at the end of my day, I took a hit off my inhaler because my lungs were a little tight and that perked me up. Tried that again today even though I wasn’t tight, and it didn’t help. I’m still pretty out of it. In fact, Linda is going to bring me the Color Street nail stickers I claimed from her online inventory tomorrow afternoon since I barely have any energy to walk the short distance to her house. This is pretty ridiculous. At least my nails will look good. I claimed Soho Ver It and Snake My Day. 

Tom took a life expectancy survey, and it told him that he would live 18 more years and that the last four years of his life wouldn’t be healthy. Sometimes I wonder if it would tell me I’ve only got 10 years or less to live in all of it will be unhealthy. Really, I’m so exhausted that it’s a struggle just to do this entry. I didn’t wake up due to thunder, but I woke up a million times anyway. It’s been stormy for most of the day with rain and some thunder mixed in. 

I feel so horrible for those trapped in the missing submersible. It makes me doubt the existence of God even more. If there is one, what kind of God would say to the thousands of people who have prayed for their recovery, “Nah, I’m going to let ‘em all suffocate to death instead.” 

Oh, wait a minute. He’s supposed to have his “reasons” for everything, right? 

In happier news, Tinkerbella is a totally awesome rat. Best we’ve had since Tinkerbell! She’s intelligent, playful, affectionate, doesn’t grab food roughly, and doesn’t pee all over like male rats do to mark their territory. She’s truly great all around. 

Had a dream that I was stuck in this private school or prison of some kind that was totally weird. I didn’t know Tom in the dream. They expected to sleep 8 women per one full-size bed. They had our names along the headboard. I was assigned to a spot on the end and while I was glad to be on the end, I knew I was going to be pushed off with so many people in the bed. 

Then I realized it was late in my day, and I told one of the staff members I was going to start unwinding. 

“No, you’re not,” she said. 

“Yes, I am,” I said back sternly, not willing to be bossed around. 

Then I was trying to have a video chat with my dad who was alive and seemed upset with me for something.