I wasn’t going to write today but I’m in the mood to. I would be more in the mood if I had more energy. Took me all day just to get the energy to do this entry. It seemed all I had the energy for was playing around with different pretty backgrounds. 

Really worried about myself at times and wonder what the hell is going on. A 57-year-old shouldn’t get the wind knocked out of her just from cleaning her kitchen. But it’s like it sucked the energy right out of me, not that I had much to begin with. I feel like my body is struggling to keep up with life. It’s working really hard, just to function. Some things I feel make me think it’s sleep apnea and other things make me worry that it’s my heart. I don’t see myself dying anytime soon, but if I ever stop updating any of my accounts, something bad happened. 

I hear thunder rumbling in the distance as a storm moves closer. So glad I’m awake! I usually have to sleep during prime storm time. The weather’s been humid but gorgeous. It’s a shame I have so little energy that I can’t be out there enjoying it. Tomorrow we’ll be out running to Publix to get some salad since Walmart had to give me a half-rotten salad. I should have known better than to trust them. 

I worry I’m never again going to have the energy to go to the beach. Something’s gotta be causing this, and I really wish I knew what it was. It’s the worst it’s ever been. I think that’s part of why I’m not writing on PB as much, besides the security/doxing issues. I feel like I just don’t have enough positive stuff to say, but I’m not going to play things down in my own journal either. Also, there has been an increasing number of males there. Haven’t had a problem with any but still.

Still have that pain on and off in my lower left tummy but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about. 

About 25% of my vibes or visions or whatever you want to call them – feelings - come when I’m awake, but most of what I see and learn comes in my sleep. I haven’t had any dreams of dying or anything bad happening to me. So hopefully that means I’ll figure it out in the end. Or better yet, the doctors will. Figuring it out is one thing, though, while treating it is another, whatever it may be. 

The only dream I remember last night was moving to Washington State of all places. I wouldn’t mind the rain they get, but I wouldn’t like anything else. 

Because I’m on days now, I haven’t caught my furry girl awake much since she’s nocturnal. But she’s been patted, chatted to, and picked up a few times. She likes to walk around my neck. Something that will be a bit hard for her to do once she’s full grown. Those nails are really going to be scratching me but this is Florida. I’m only in sleeves for 3 months of the year. 

Even this entry is sucking energy out of me, so I guess that’s it for now.