If the Honker went straight home and didn't stop anywhere in the US to visit anyone along the way, he's just in time for a 36° snowstorm. LMAO.

I'm back to being psychic in a neutral or a bad way.
Neutral: The mystery girl told me she hates the word fat and prefers other definitions to describe someone on the hefty side. I have no idea if this is really true or not, so who knows?
Negative: I was correct in suspecting that this lying dumbass pulmonologist wouldn't make things easier for us by simply writing a prescription for a CPAP.

When we saw him, he specifically told us that for insurance purposes, I would need to have an in-lab sleep study done. So when Tom decided to call and see if I was right or not — and whether we could get a break for once or rule that possibility out while I was sleeping — he was told it had absolutely nothing to do with insurance but that the doctor simply wanted to see what was going on because he's under the false delusion that I have insomnia rather than N24 because I'm not blind.

Any idiot can research multiple credible online sources and find out that although rare, it is indeed truly possible to be sighted and have this sleep disorder. Furthermore, I have every single symptom of it! It is similar in some aspects to delayed sleep phase, but that's definitely not what I have otherwise I could have and would have corrected it years ago. Unfortunately, this is N24 and it's 100% incurable. I'll never be able to get medication for it because it's a rich person's drug. No insurance company is going to pay for something that costs thousands of dollars and isn't a matter of life or death. Still furthermore is the fact that two sleep specialists confirmed that I have N24. So what more does anyone need — unless you just want to be a stupid, arrogant little fuck?

Although it may or may not cost us a little more and may not be quite as accurate, we're almost certainly going to drop this idiot and the sleep lab and go with the online option. Tom did more research, and they have good reviews overall. I'm going to be dealing with primary care doctors who will refer my results to a specialist. I’m not going to deal with the specialist directly.

Sometimes it helps to write out the ups and downs of things and sit back and look at it, and this is what I've come up with

Pros of Sleep Lab Study:

• More accurate results
  
  

• Possibly cheaper
  
  

Cons of Sleep Lab Study:

• Unfamiliar and uncomfortable setting
  
  

• More equipment hooked up to me
  
  

• Might not be able to fall asleep when expected
  
  

Pros of In-Home Study:

• More comfortable
  
  

• Can do it on my own time
  
  

• Tests for more than just sleep apnea
  
  

Cons of In-Home Study:

• Less accurate
  
  

• Potentially more expensive

We discovered some hidden rooms in Walkabout, but you really couldn't interact with anything. It was still kind of cool. It was fun to fly through this wall, then down the stairs and into a maze of hallways. There were doors along the way that you could peek through the windows of, but again, there wasn’t much you could actually do.

I'm on the third ride of the challenge. I went from Washington to Canada and then to Indiana. Two days ago, I was way too exhausted to ride, but yesterday, I rode for about 20 minutes. Despite sleeping 8.5 hours and getting a good sleep score according to Fitbit, I don't know if I'll have the energy to do any riding tonight.

I no longer need anything for my pulled tooth, but damn is my TMJ acting up lately. I don't understand why it's so much worse. While I would love to get the fatigue resolved, I hope this isn't going to end up being my next long-term problem since I’ve noticed they tend to overlap each other. It was when the worst of the anxiety began to fizzle out that the heavy fatigue set in.

Again, it’ll be a great test of just how cursed my sleep really is because if I get the CPAP back and get used to it, but other things start waking me up, well, that’ll pretty much reinforce the suspicion even more. God, I hope not, though! If I really am truly not meant to sleep well or have energy most of the time, then it would be a waste of time and money to go through the steps of getting the CPAP back.

Instead, I'm going to try to be hopeful and think of all I'd like to do once my energy is restored. I want to get into more forms of exercise and back to my creative writing. It’s hard to focus even on blogging when you're so fatigued so much of the time.

I just hope this really is the sleep apnea I think it is and not chronic fatigue or chronic leukemia!

So NaNoWriMo is going away. I don’t miss it. As soon as they radically revamped their site, both Aly and I got sick of it. It just wasn’t the same. Such stupid controversy over AI is the reason. As Tom and I were talking and agreed on, what the hell is wrong with using AI to help you write a story? How is it much different than using a dictionary as long as it’s used for the proper reasons? As long as you don’t have it write your story for you, it’s a great learning tool and really helps improve spelling and grammar, just like dictionaries and programs like Grammarly.

Camp NaNoWriMo still exists, but I deleted my account. They changed both sites and they just weren’t what they used to be or what I signed up for (and worse with Aly gone). I hate it when apps and websites become something totally different.

Instead of arguing about whether trans athletes should compete on women’s or men’s teams, why not create teams specifically for trans athletes? While I fully support trans — expressing oneself is one thing — identifying as something you’re not is another. I believe that, scientifically, sex is binary. You can feel something, and you can want to be something, but it doesn’t mean you are that thing, whether you like it or not.

I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I have a vibe about possibly moving in August of next year. I don’t see how we could get out that fast, but we’ll see. It’s just a feeling I’ve been having, even though it’s not overly strong. It will be interesting to see if it fades over time or gets stronger.

Later…

Started much of this entry before I crashed. So as I was saying, my TMJ had been acting up, but I’ve also been having sneezing fits, particularly in the bedroom. We suspected the sheets Tinkerbella plays in that are on the closet floor. Since rats do have dander, even if it’s not as much as cats, Tom washed them. Ironically, the sneezing fits seemed to help my TMJ, so I might have had congestion putting pressure on the eustachian tube.

The tomato plant has gotten so big and bushy that it literally tipped over the tube it's in, so Tom glued the tube down since tape wasn’t enough. He also planted some seeds in dirt and thanks to my fucked-up memory and being in a tiny house with so much stuff piled on top of each other, I can’t find the packet with the names of what they are. We just know they’re various kinds of berries. I should recognize any that make it.

Anyway, it's nice to have friends I chat with when I’m on days and then my nighttime buddy north of me when I’m on nights. I appreciate and value your friendship. 🙂