Whoa, back-to-back mystery girl dreams. I somehow learned that she collected dolls, particularly designer Barbies like the ones I used to have. Somehow, I get the feeling that isn’t the case in real life, but who knows? I had tons of dreams during my shitty-as-fuck sleep, but the only other one I remember is being married to Jerry Orbach, of all people, LOL. We were drinking heavily one night and laughing our asses off at everything and nothing. He was so thrilled to have nabbed a younger woman and was such a gentleman.

Andy once called me fat, assuming that because it would hurt him to be called fat, it would hurt me too—as if I actually gave a shit, and I didn’t by that day and age. Ironically enough, he was fatter than me. Then he once condemned me for being a loner, despite the fact that this is what I choose, want, and what makes me happiest. Also, ironically, he’s always been quite a loner as well—perhaps not as much as Tom and I, but enough of one. The point? Sometimes it’s those who condemn you for something who are guilty of the thing they’re critiquing you for. Nothing in particular brought this paragraph on, but it did pop into mind, and as a writer, I do like to keep my thoughts in print as often as possible. I can’t explain why, but I guess it’s just therapeutic.

I read that humidity can make TMJ worse, and it’s definitely been worse. It got a little better after a sneezing fit I had, but now it’s driving me crazy again. Furthermore, I slept positively shitty. I was exhausted yesterday but ended up perking up a few hours into my day. Somehow I went from feeling like I could practically slip into a coma to being up for 20 fucking hours (Dr. Liar/Denier was at least correct yesterday). I didn’t take anything other than ibuprofen and Claritin before bed. Sure enough, I kept waking up a lot, and at one point, I had trouble going back to sleep, so I took half a clonazepam. I’m left feeling absolutely exhausted and totally miserable today, so I might as well not worry about melatonin hangovers since the natural solution is always better and something you shouldn’t take every day. Because I am exhausted, however, I will take a full clonazepam before bed, and the next time I have trouble sleeping, I’ll take melatonin.

The question is what to do when my sleep gets broken up. Damn, I can’t wait to meet with those sleep specialists! Really hope we’ll have the money soon enough. If things could stop breaking, that would help. $37 isn’t much, but we have to replace that part again that keeps going out on this shitty dishwasher. Worst dishwasher we ever had!