Tom saw the optometrist, and he was told what he already knew—his cataract is much worse, and it's time to get it dealt with. Now he's waiting for a callback from the same damn ophthalmologist he already contacted. Even Medicare has a screwy system. They're not going to knock him out but will give him something to make him relaxed. He’ll call and arrange for transportation to and from wherever he has the surgery. He's not the least bit scared, but I would be absolutely terrified.

He's only ever needed glasses for seeing far away, but the surgery should eliminate that. So not fair! I need glasses just to walk around. I went from farsighted to no-sighted. Anyway, hopefully, it will be done soon so there will be no more curb crashing.

Day 4, and my tooth still hurts. It comes and goes. I read on the paper I signed that it's possible for it to hurt for more than two weeks. That was the case when I had the same tooth on the other side pulled by the county during the recession. I just hope that if I ever need another tooth pulled, it’s up top and not a bottom tooth. Pulling teeth from the bottom is a real killer! Also, I hope it's just referred pain because one of the teeth toward the front aches a bit as well. It's on the same side as the extracted one. They were just deep cleaned, so if there was anything wrong with it, they should have caught it even without X-rays—or at least had a good idea that something was up.

I definitely need to stay off my stomach until I get the CPAP. After only about five hours of sleep (and being up forever), I woke up, and it seemed my airway did indeed close up. I don't know how much of it was sleep apnea versus my nose, but I really do need to figure out how to lose 40 or 50 pounds at some point. All this extra weight is certainly not helping. The question is how?? How do you do that when you're sensitive to your medication, always have to be at least a little hypo, and have a phobia of losing weight because you know how easily and brutally the medication can turn on you? I don't know, maybe since traditional diets are complicated and likely won’t get me very far, it's time to ask about weight loss drugs. The problem is that they also have side effects, and I would still have the phobia to deal with. I can’t lose weight in a few weeks to a few months before the CPAP, so I’ll wait and talk to Rhonda when I see her in June. No way to know for sure that losing weight would get me off the CPAP, but it would help with my health in general.

Just like I trained myself to stay off my back, I’m going to have to avoid stomach sleeping until I get both the CPAP and a CPAP pillow. The problem is that my back is my least favorite position, and my stomach is my favorite, so getting off my stomach is going to be more of a challenge. They say sleeping on your left side is the healthiest, but the longer I lay on that side, the side with TMJ, the more it aggravates it. I just can’t win either way. Sleep issues are going to be the death of me, I swear.

The only good thing to come of my sleep—although I don’t remember it—is that I know I had another moving dream.

My eyes started welling with tears of anticipation and joy at the thought of seeing a "For Sale" sign in front of this place. It would most likely be taped to the lanai rather than staked into the ground. The thought of flying away to experience yet another new place, the excitement of picking out the land and the house, etc.—and then I had to bring myself back down to earth. I had to remind myself that even though Tom is pretty confident, I’m a pessimist. That means I can’t know for sure that my fatigue issues will be resolved, and if they’re not, I’m not going anywhere.

But yeah, I find myself wondering at times—Is our land out there somewhere waiting for us? Is there really future land for us?