Today my nose is in Auburn and my life is in Citrus Heights. My allergies started going off all of a sudden. The kind where I'm sneezing and my nose is runny. Just took Claritin, so hopefully it will help. I'm having the bot vacuum in the bedroom, too. Haven't had this problem since Auburn.

On top of the fatigue, I've been feeling down and hopeless today. I feel like I'm stuck in the same situation I was in in Citrus Heights, only with slight differences. There, I was battling anxiety for years and waiting forever to get out of there. Here, I'm battling fatigue and wondering if we'll ever get out of here. I just want to be in a place I love and don't want to leave until the end of our lives and not have so much damn fatigue. I just want to be happy and healthy.

I slept a little better, but still woke up tired and ended up napping. The nap didn't seem to do me much good. I don't know if we were moving, but in one dream we were traveling. We checked into our hotel, and I asked Tom if he felt relieved to be there since the last one was in a dangerous neighborhood. 

Then I was by myself, maybe back in the Northeast where I'm originally from, and I was telling someone about the years I lived in Cali and thinking about whether or not I wanted to return there. Only Cali didn’t stand for California but “Calihoodia,” lol.

My gums haven't been as achy today, but the fatigue lives on. I know part of it is still my thyroid and sleep apnea—the question is how much of each is contributing to it. AI said that you can have fatigue for a week or two after an extraction. I'm sure some of it is also from that because it's definitely been worse.

I just wish my problems were more clear-cut and solvable like when I had my gallbladder removed or in the case of his cataracts. Instead, I don't know how much of my fatigue is from what for sure. I don't know when I'm going to get a CPAP, I don't know for sure if it's going to help, and I don't know how much it's going to cost. All these unknowns are really getting to me.

I feel stressed, depressed, and like things will never get better—or if they do, it's going to be a while, and then I'll just go right into a whole new long-term problem. How much more can I take?

In better news, I got my Himalayan salt lamp, and it’s nice. Surprisingly heavy for being only three inches.