Decided once again to just keep current stuff on PB. I don't know why, but it just seems like some places are better for everything while others are better just for what's going on in the moment. Or at least fairly recently.

Excited to connect with Melanie and fellow psychic on Facebook. I almost never share my Facebook profile with anyone. Very, very picky about who I add there. It's cool because she's the one who requested to add me. Anyway, I hope we can not only be good friends but also learn from each other since we have different psychic abilities. 

She confirmed that sometimes her ghosties go silent or give conflicting responses, and she has to just go with her intuition. Supposedly, it takes a hell of a lot of energy for them to make things happen and influence things like EMF readers, etc. Furthermore, she truly believes without a doubt that Jade is haunted, and if I'd like, she could give me an idea of when and how she died, she said. I told her she's welcome to offer anything anytime and doesn't need to ask.

Now here's a pretty amazing update. When I moved Jade across the room to the long dresser, her responses lessened and eventually stopped altogether, especially when Tom came into the room to observe. I teased him about her not liking him and being sexist, LOL.

Then, just like I had a feeling I should get the EMF reader out again, I also had a feeling that I should move Jade back by Joy. I don't know if she just likes that dresser better or if she considers Joy her friend or little sister (I sense a bonding with Joy, though Joy's not haunted), but I'm no longer laughing at the thought of haunted dolls! I wonder if it means there is an afterlife after all. The more she reacts, the harder it is to write it off as a coincidence.

I shared a couple of quick videos with Mel, and in the first video, Jade's on the long dresser being quiet, and then I moved her across the room and that's when I compared her with Joy, who didn't make the EMF reader react, but Jade clearly did. After I had a bite to eat, I didn't video it, but again, I went back and talked to Joy and got radio silence. But then, whenever I said something to Jade—blink.

Woke up at 155.0 pounds today, but I don't feel overmedicated. I also woke up exhausted but then was surprised by gaining a little more energy a few hours later. Just a little worried we might not get the CPAP this week and that we're dealing with the usual bullshit incompetency in which the only ones that have to suffer for it is us — as usual. As long as it gets shipped by Wednesday, it should be FedEx Expressed to us by Friday.

I'm not suicidal, but really, I just want to get better or die. Not keep suffering year after year! 

I got to have some fun dreams for once last time around. We were on a ship somewhere. I don't know if we were living there for a while or just vacationing, but two of the room’s walls were cut out. I was standing on the open corner looking out to sea. The water was a bit rough, and I was watching a boat in the distance bob up and down. It was raining, and I was getting wet, but I didn't mind. Suddenly, I realized I was standing a bit too close to the edge, so I scooted back.

Another dream brought us holiday goodies from Miss Perfect, even though we both gave up sugar. Many were wrapped with Christmas designs like Santa and Christmas trees, but then there were some with dreidels and the Star of David, and I thought, wow, how thoughtful of her.

There have been times when I've been tempted to reach out to her through other family members I can find on Facebook and let her know that, regardless of any past disagreements, we hope she and Dave are doing well. But I don't know how Tom would feel about that. Besides, would it really change anything? Would they even reply? I doubt it. People don't change. This is why I'm making more and more of an effort to stay away from those who have been a problem in the past, even if I no longer have hard feelings toward them.

The rat's tumor is growing. Sadly, that's how it works — it grows a little more every day. On the bright side, she's still getting around and doesn't appear to be in pain. We're not going to let her get to the point of suffering. We'll euthanize her ourselves when the time comes, and… well, I don't want to think about that now. I just want to enjoy what time she has left. Having the experience with rats that I have, I can't see her getting past August. 🙁