Yesterday was quieter than it’s been in months. Not a peep from next door or the dog.

I’m working on my story now before it gets noisy with the barking. The weekend’s over, so it’s company time. I’ll blast off and do some singing just as soon as I hear from the dog. The first time should be around 8:00 or 9:00. I know it was out for an hour and a half yesterday morning, but I never heard it. She doesn’t do company on weekends, though. If it isn’t the cats, it’s the company that stirs the fucking thing up. Just another few weeks and we can swap it in for car doors and whatever else may be waiting for us down there. The question is how many turnovers will we have to deal with while we’re there? I’m not going to like them coming up to the house to get their mail either. Yet we’ve got to be the ones to deal with it because the mail carrier’s too lazy to put their box on their own house and walk the few extra steps to get to it. I just hope they don’t make a big production out of getting their mail! It’s just that most people are so damn rude and inconsiderate.

God, if you’re not going to give us decent neighbors, can’t you at least give me a drug-free, good-looking gay neighbor to play with? Can’t I at least have that if I can’t have peace?

If I wanted to feel like God listens to me, all I’d have to do would be to get down on my knees and say, “God, please make sure we have one noisy neighbor after another, and please make sure his mother never gives a damn about us again, and please make sure we always struggle amid poverty, etc.”

That’d be a done deal!

Later…

The dog went off right when I knew it would, so the split, sick bitch got to deal with me for a while. Too bad she doesn’t have another puzzle to throw over here (assuming she did that due to getting fed up with the two-way noise thing we’ve got going and sick of the competition. You know how most people are; it’s ok for them to be noisy, but not anyone else). I later heard it bark inside its place. Meanwhile, the red pickup was here for nearly two hours, and now she’s doing the sun tea thing. Not for entertaining any wild, out-of-control company, I hope, but if she must do so, she’ll have to do it to the beat of my music. I just hope the animals leave before he gets in since the loud music bothers him at times. We’ll see. She’s proven she can make sun tea just for herself, so we’ll just have to wait and see if anyone arrives. Well, I don’t always have to see. I can hear. I’m amazed she doesn’t hang clothes out there every other day. What I don’t get is why the dog needs to be let out every goddamn hour. Does it really need to piss and shit that much? Probably so, cuz she’s probably stuffing it as much as she’s stuffing herself. What much can they do with themselves anyway but eat and watch TV? Food, TV and visitors are obviously their whole lives.

If I don’t get a win notification by the 1st, I’m gonna believe the last win was just to tease me into thinking I could win every month or two, and I’ll begin to wonder just how long it’ll be before I win again.

A few more hours and Tom will be seeing our new source of noise. If it’s any consolation to myself it’s in knowing that all neighbors, both semi-bad and very bad, are only temporary. We’ll keep moving, they’ll keep moving, and nothing will be forever. Meanwhile, all I can do is hope we get more semi-bad neighbors than very bad neighbors since we can’t get anything else. He may not hear anything while he’s there, though, and things may start off quiet if we do move in there like I vibe we will. That’s how it seems to work anyway when we move or someone moves in next to us. Things start off relatively peaceful. Then just when I go to breathe a sigh of relief and wonder if I’ve lucked out for once, trouble starts.

Coming to the realization of this lifelong sentence of noise/poverty has been really hard for me. I mean, I figured as much years ago, but there’s knowing something and then there’s knowing something. It’s like losing a loved one. You accept it from the get-go, but it’s hard at first when the final realization sinks in that hey, this is the way it’s always going to be and nothing I do can change it. I hope it’ll gradually get easier to live with in time.

It’s 7 AM and already the fucking dog is out. Although I don’t expect we’ll have any more 95º days which is the hottest it’s been since we’ve been in this state, it’s to be around 90º today so that probably means I’ll have to deal with the fucking beast a little more than usual. All I know is that the hotter it is, the more she leaves it out. If Pam mentioned our complaint to her, it obviously didn’t do any good, but I’m not surprised. This is the type of person who simply does not give in to complaints no matter how much leverage the person complaining may have over her. Some people are just extremists in that way.

My first instinct is to shout, “I can’t wait to move!” But why? We’re just moving in with other dogs and noise, so why get overly excited? We’re just going from one dog to another. The only difference will be that we won’t be attached to someone else’s place. By the time we get there, it’ll be nearly a year of living connected to others. I’m going to enjoy this separation as long as I can because I know better than to assume my connected days are over. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life it’s to never assume the past won’t be back to haunt me in some way shape or form.

In fact, because I have no choice but to adapt to city life, and because it’s going to be noisy everywhere we go, I’m not going to spend my life setting up house according to the closeness of others. I want to use the bedrooms, so I’m going to use them, and to hell with the fact that their driveway runs right by them! I’ll just sleep when I sleep and deal with the wake-up calls and the distractions from the rude people around us when I’m awake.

Renting a U-Haul for the day only costs about $40 which would be about what we’d pay someone he works with to help move us, but the catch is that they require something like a $200 deposit, so I don’t know if this will be possible. It sure would be nice, though, because we know we could rely on them. Even if their mother dies. Tom’s going to check into it and see if anyone at work would be willing to help us, and get a feel for just how serious they are or if they’re just being “polite.” Yes really means no with so many people. I think that in the end we’ll be forced to license the truck simply because it’s the last thing we want to do.

God, I’m sick of being poor! Poverty really cuts your options in life down big time, but it’s just one more thing I have to accept along with noisy neighbors. Nothing we could possibly do could change either one of these things so destined to be a part of our lives.

My schedule’s at the point now where I want to push it ahead a few hours, but not so fast because the quicker I get my schedule on days, the longer I have to hold it.

Tom has an appointment after work tomorrow to see the house. The owner’s going to show it to him. For some reason, they won’t let Triple-A show it. It’s on a fast street, so that’s good. Sure you get more stereos on the streets with more traffic, but the higher speed limits keeps things moving, though it’s not as high as this street. They also keep away the potential for block parties and shit like that. Kids won’t be playing in the street, which is a one-way street.

Tom had to remove my optical mouse and replace it with a roller-ball one. It too, has a scroller, but it’s not working. That’s it, God, mess with our computer stuff since we don’t have a well to fix.

The 11th St. gas house, as we’ve been calling it, is still available as I vibed it would be. I also vibe that that’s where we’ll end up. The only thing I don’t like at all is the fact that next door’s driveway runs right alongside the bedrooms which means the car doors are going to sound like gunshots in those rooms. So I may sleep in the living room and hope that the people with the huge yard next to it don’t go getting a dog if they don’t already have one. All I know is that if we move in there and they’re quiet, they’ll move and be replaced with trouble. That’s how it always works for us. Each turnover gets progressively worse. The only thing that could make the place a real nightmare would be if cars with loud stereos came and went, but we have to go somewhere to escape the killer electric bills in the winter, and we can’t live in peace anyway. If we got this house, heated by gas and so close to work, we’d save quite a bit of money.

I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to sign a lease because we’ve been with this company for coming up on 10 months, and so we don’t have to be trapped there if it’s bad (although, if it’s like Phoenix, I’m leaving, lease or not), but I think they’ll make us sign a 1-year lease. We can’t leave the state before a year’s up anyway, though. My vibes say we’ll leave in November of ’06.

Tom’s got it figured that right now, people think gas prices will drop soon. But because he knows they won’t, people in rural Sacramento will be putting their places on the market when they realize they won’t drop right around the time we go hunting for a place, and they’ll be really cheap. I can’t imagine anything being so kind as to line anything up in our favor like that, but we’ll see. Of course, if we ever did go rural again, we’d have to convert to a hydrogen vehicle. We could never afford the gas. Fortunately for us, most people wouldn’t have brains enough to do their own converting like we would. I still don’t think we will, though. I think we were meant to be in the city and so that’s where we’ll stay, listening to the neighbors’ dogs, kids, car doors, car stereos, basketball games, and whatever else they can sic on us.

Meanwhile, it’s not even mid-August and it’s already cooling down. I was actually cold on our 7 AM walk this morning.

I called Paula and again I got her machine, so I left a message.

Now here’s the weird news. The rude bitch next door returned the puzzle. But what’s weird about it is that we walked out to find it lying on the part of the sidewalk that meets the driveway. Why would she put it there and not on the steps? And why would she return it? I never said I wanted it back. Maybe she just doesn’t want any puzzle in her place that belonged to someone who blasts her out, but if she’d quit ignoring the dog when she had company, maybe I wouldn’t be so quick to do so. She’s still not leaving it out for long periods of time, and she goes and gets it when it goes off when she’s alone, but she still sometimes ignores it when she’s got company. This is when she gets based, though I still find it hard to believe she can hear it over that TV as loud as she plays it. On the other hand, if she were suddenly disgusted by the puzzle because it was me who gave it to her, why not just throw it out? She probably felt that returning it was her way of saying, “I don’t want your shit in my place.” She probably walked across her yard, and right as she got to the start of ours, she tossed the thing over. On the other hand, nuts like this are hard to figure, and I don’t care anyway. Three weeks or less and she’s just a memory. Both Batty Bev and Fat Pat.

As we approached August, the death vibes I had for Blondie faded, fortunately. I’ve been doing spells on him like crazy even so, and so far he seems like a healthy little guy.

Later…

Well, I take that back. She is leaving it out. It’s just that instead of leaving it out in the mornings, now that it’s cooler, she’s leaving it out later. She threw it out at 11:00 and I’m sure it’ll be there for most of the day. I’m also sure she’ll water today because she didn’t yesterday.

Oh wow, it looks like she may’ve just pulled the dog in. But will the fucking thing let me sleep today? I’ll be crashing in the late afternoon which is when it’s more likely to be out there.

Been up since 9:30, and now that next door’s finally shut up, though I’d take them any day over the dog, I can write in peace.

To have the queen not care to send the $1200 is one thing, but to not send the amount for his birthday and our anniversary as usual is totally sickening! We should’ve gotten the checks cashed at a check-cashing place and just let them steal half of it. This selfish bitch of a woman, who is a pitiful excuse for a human being let alone for a mother, couldn’t piss me off anymore if she tried! Just the mere thought of her makes me want to puke and I am not going to hold back at all in the letter I’ll be sending. I meant it when I said I wasn’t going to let the sickos, who denied me my constitutional right to free speech, scare me from speaking my mind. No paranoia will seal my lips when I’ve got something to say. Sure, there are times to kiss ass, but this ain’t one of them! And I hope it makes her so sick that she does everyone a favor and drops dead, not that we’d profit from it, but I figured as much as a year ago that her money would either all go to Mary and Dave or to charity. I know the main reason she’s turned against us is that Tom no longer lives there where he’s a convenient, handy slave to the bitch’s every beck and call. This shithead doesn’t even have the decency to acknowledge the letter, even if it were just to say she’s not sending anything. I’d bet just about anything that if we called there, not that we have the slightest desire to do so, she’d deny getting the letter in the first place.

Tom said the paramedics left next door the other day too fast to not be an accident. At first I was like, how do you “accidentally” call paramedics, but then I realized she probably has one of those buttons you push that automatically dispatches them.

My first thought was to wish she would get sick for real and end up hospitalized, though that may make things worse with the dog. With my shit luck, instead of someone coming to get the dog to bring to their place, they’d come over early in the morning, toss it out back with food and water, and not return again till nighttime. It sure would make the dog easy and vulnerable prey, though.

As punishment for the dog making it hard for me to return to sleep yesterday, I hit the inside of the utility cabinet along the dividing wall real good with a hammer after Tom left. I gave it about half a dozen strikes. I didn’t want to hit the wall itself and risk damaging it. This way any nicks are inside the cabinet. After this, I gave her 4 hours of music while I bounced and swept.

Mixed in with a few scattered barks, the red pickup visited for a little over an hour, then I saw her take off fast as if she were in a hurry. In a hurry to get away from me and my bass, I hope! God, do I hope I’ve driven her just as crazy as she has me, but I doubt it. I don’t think she minds the music, but even if she did, she comes from a place where the rule is: Don’t complain on me and I won’t complain on you. I’m surprised she didn’t pitch a fit when I asked her to lower the TV but look how long that lasted; two days at the most.

She probably wouldn’t do anything about the music unless I blasted it at night, in which case she’d call the police. That’s what all vindictive people do; they run to the cops.

Later…

The beast next door behaved yesterday evening, from what Tom tells me. He’s also decided that the two-bedroom, gas-heated house close to work would be our best bet if it’s still available as I vibe it is. If not, then this tiny trailer might be a possibility. We don’t know what’s around the trailer, but the only thing I don’t like about the other house is that the driveway of the house behind it, which shares a yard with it, runs right alongside the bedrooms. At least we think it does. The good is that no dogs are allowed unless the noise curse sics another Patty and beast on us down there since the law requires that they accept that shit. The yard, he said, appears unkempt. Off to the other side of the house is a huge yard, also unkempt. Tom hasn’t seen any dogs there, but I’m sure there will be if we move in.

It’s looking more and more like our best bet is going to be to try to avoid licensing the truck till we get ready to leave the state. Therefore, we may have the truck towed down there and get a coworker of his to help us move. The question then will be, can we rely on them? Nobody gives a damn about us. Nobody. And those that do are totally unable to help us in any way. Also, if we do get someone we can rely on, will their mother die the day we need them to help us move?

A part of me wishes we could just stay here, but we can’t get out of this state with another winter of killer electric bills, and I can’t deal with another year of barking, door-slamming and wet windows. I know it’ll be noisy no matter where we go, but it’s time to swap these sounds in for others. I just may have to sleep in the living room if we get that house because if the fan won’t block out the doors next door here, it won’t block out the car doors there, because I know they’ll be home all the time, whoever they are, and that they’ll have company 4 times a day.

I don’t mind being without the truck till we leave the state. Tom could walk to work and take the bus to the grocery store. We’ll save a ton of money not licensing the truck, and that would leave us extra money to save for the move and to have a bit of extra spending money along the way for things like fragrance oil. I’ll just have to keep the purchases small in both cost and size.

We may even sell the truck once we get moved and pick up something a little bigger before the move. Meanwhile, it sure would be convenient to stay with this management company if we could. That way we wouldn’t have to deal with application fees. Plus, this company, so far, is a good one.

Ok, time for an update on the latest shit from the rude assholes we’ve got around us here. I awoke hot barely 6 hours into my sleep, and as I rose to turn the AC up, the dog started going crazy, making it impossible to fall back asleep. Every time I’d come close to falling back asleep, I’d wake back up. So I got up and found a message from Tom saying that the dog went crazy and that there were paramedics next door, but she must’ve called them by mistake because they weren’t there long.

Oh, I doubt they were a “mistake.” I think she decided she needed a quick sympathy fix and so she sicced the dog on us so it wouldn’t get in her way when the paramedics arrived. They’ve probably been to see her before too, so once they saw she was just fine, they left.

Well, I guess it’s obvious that no one’s complained on her yet, not that I think it would do them a damn bit of good if they did. This is someone who’d rather allow herself to be evicted before she’d control the dog. Spiting others would be worth it to her. It’s more important to her than getting along and staying out of trouble, but trouble’s just what she’s in for as soon as Tom leaves later this morning. I’m going to be stomping around here so badly and blasting music like crazy. I’ll even start with the bedroom window open and hope I annoy next door too, while I’m at it, who also didn’t make things easy for me.

After having coffee, I realized I was still tired. By now it was dark and cooling down, so I turned off the AC and opened the window. However, I could hear them going back and forth just fine, and of course their floodlight was obnoxious too, so I didn’t fall back asleep till nearly midnight, and I only slept for a little over an hour. I feel better now than I did earlier, and hopefully this will push my schedule around faster.

Yesterday’s shit fit with the dog really makes me wonder why she’s been bothering to keep it indoors more often. Did she get a complaint and decide she’d only control it when she didn’t have company? I figured it’d be watering day too, since it had been a whole two days since the nut watered, and that calls for more dog activity right there.

I’m so sick of noise and poverty!!! That’s all I’ve ever known throughout the bulk of my adult life, and for a while, I just accepted it as a fact of life. I knew that was how it was going to be, so I just went with it. Lately, however, it’s getting harder and harder to do. Knowing we’ll always be struggling in the midst of rude, noisy neighbors is one thing. Accepting it is another. It’s just not ok anymore. We’ve had enough and we deserve to move on and get ahead in life yet the fucking bastard in the sky who’s ignored my pleas yet again, won’t let us! Why do I even make a fool of myself by bothering to pray to something that doesn’t give a shit about me?! Well, I know I won’t be making that mistake again! I pray for help and the joke’s on me, so fuck it!

I missed my bangs so I cut them back. I think they look better on me. I just wish my face weren’t so damn full, but that’s another thing I can’t change. It’s just me.

The bitch next door still isn’t leaving the dog out or hanging out in the evenings with it, though she sure lets the thing out a lot. By noon it had already been out 4 times that I knew of. Twice it barked once at the back door to be let in and she came and got it right away.

She still blasts the TV, but with the fan on and us only being here a few more weeks, we don’t care.

Meanwhile, the weather’s just beginning to cool down, and once again, someone’s death is a major inconvenience to us. The woman in charge of giving Tom the raise he’s obviously not going to get, returned from vacation only to run right out again. I guess her father died.

Another day of hoping we don’t receive anything in the mail we don’t want to receive while wishing we could receive what we’d like to receive from those who are supposed to care. But I know better even if he doesn’t. I think a part of him simply doesn’t want to believe that his own mother could cease to give a damn. It’s sad, but it happens.

I’m not going to wait for all the people next door to gather outside the bedroom wall for breakfast like they’ve been doing lately, and I’m not going to wait till Fat Pat gets company and tosses the dog out back for me to have to deal with. This means that as soon as he’s gone, I’m going to crank up the tunes and do some singing. Meanwhile, I should be up most of the morning, and weekday mornings, just like the evenings of any day, are the most likely times for barking. I was surprised they didn’t set up camp out back yesterday evening. On days that hot they usually do. She may’ve gone somewhere early in the day because the cooler she’s had on her patio for about a month was gone when I last glanced out before crashing at 10:00.

Tom’s going to call another property management company today to see if they have any houses for rent without shared yards. So far, though, it seems like most of them are a cluster of rentals on the same lot. That wouldn’t be that much of a step up from this place, but I know I can’t expect much more than this because I know I’m not allowed to live in peace.

Tom feels I’ll get a win notification within the next 3 weeks. Hope he’s right!

Later…

Although the dog did take a shit fit at the door during her visit from the small red pickup driver, she only let it go on for about a minute or two. However, she no longer appears to be leaving it out all morning. She doesn’t even leave it out in the evenings as much anymore either and this started around the time he gave notice. I doubt Pam would’ve gone so far as to call her or send a letter in regards to the dog, but what may’ve happened is that the bitch called her wanting to know if we’d given notice and that’s when Pam said something like, “Yeah, they did. And they say it’s because the dog annoys them, so you might want to put a lid on it.”

Meanwhile, Tom called Hartman Management Company and found a house with both pros and cons, as they all seem to have. The pros are that it’s cheap and has no shared yard. The cons are that the houses are too close, it’s small and dumpy, might not accept pets, and isn’t within walking distance of anything.

I think this is the best we’re going to be able to get, though, for being in the city, and personally, I like the sound of his coworker’s highway house the best. It may be worth the extra money to get the garage it has, and I’m used to living next to the crazies, so why not? Sometimes the best way to deal with a curse is to just go with it and roll with the punches, so I may as well look at the bright side of living crammed in with others. For one, if there was ever a fire, God forbid, and there was no time on my phone, someone with a phone would be just a few feet away and always home. We’ll never have much space around us again and I know one can’t fight fate and win, so why drive myself batty trying? Meanwhile, we have to live somewhere, and if that can only be with others on top of us and us on top of them, it’s better than Brattleboro or Valleyhead or Estrella.

I think Tom should keep his mouth shut about the rat. We could put his house in a closet if we had to with all the time he spends running around loose. No landlord is going to come in and do a search of our closet as if we were inmates in a jail cell.

I got up at 6:00 to find bitch-n-beast had already hit the back. A half-hour later we went to the store.

We checked the mail on the way back, but there was nothing other than a coupon for Hawaiian Punch for doing a survey for them.

I asked Tom if his “gut instinct” still said we’d hear from the queen and he said yes. They say your gut instinct’s the one to trust, but I don’t know about his.

Meanwhile, we returned to find the bitch on her usual watering spree, but all’s been quiet. They should be turning in soon if they haven’t already. That is unless she’s got to stuff herself again at 11:30 and have a private little barbecue party.

At midnight we’ll be down to 25 days left, give or take a few.

Later…

The assholes next door are out gabbing up a storm right now. I heard them go back and forth at 1:00 last night and they were up as early as 5:00 the day before. I tell you, they never sleep!

Meanwhile, I’m trying to stay up throughout most of the morning. If I could be up at least till noon, that’d be great since the most likely time for the beast to go off is between 8 AM - noon.

I slammed a cabinet door really loud Friday morning as soon as he left. I couldn’t resist. That’ll hopefully be wake-up call #2, one for each one her shit of a dog gave me.

Again I slept well. That’s two days in a row they let me, but again, is it because the music did such a good job of blocking the barking out, or was there simply no barking to begin with? By next weekend at the latest, I should know which one is the case. I got up at 5:30 this afternoon. A half-hour later the dog was put out for 2½ hours but only barked once.

Tom said the Miller St. house he went to look at today was also a bust because it’s in a cluster of houses that share a driveway, and dogs could get within 5-10 feet from the house. Is anything for rent not shared in some way? We’ll have to just take whatever we can get. We just don’t have all the time and money in the world to be choosy. We gotta go somewhere, and since there’s no peaceful place for us, it’ll mostly come down to price in the end, location second. When I say location, I mean nothing a half-hour out of town. Nothing rural. What a coincidence in God’s timing with the gas prices getting out of control!

My ear is back to annoying me, and I’m back to being stumped as to whether or not it is my ear or my teeth. I’m just sick of this ear and teeth shit and having my eyes get worse and worse by the minute!

The good news is that there hasn’t yet been any mail from the management company in regards to my hosting any show and tell game, but the bad news is that there’s been nothing from the queen and that the house close to work is a bust. He said he found out which house it is and that upon closer inspection, he found that there’s not only a house right smack behind it, but the mailboxes to both houses are by the front door of the one for rent. As we both agree, we don’t want someone coming right up to our door to get their mail and possibly help themselves to ours as well while they’re at it. Meanwhile, there’s a house available on a side street between here and 6th St., but closer to 6th, that he’s going to check out tomorrow when he gets some groceries. I guess it’s not far off our walking route. I told Tom to just keep looking for the white house with navy or maroon trim. That’s what I saw in my vision. As far as it is from where he works, I’d like to stay in this area, since it’s a nicer area and has more old people rather than families, though I’m sure we’ll have to be next to the Brady bunch and the loudest dogs in the area no matter where we go.

As I figured would be the case, since it was hot, the bitch-n-beast was out for about an hour, but they were quiet. I could only hear the evening group chatter session from next door, but only in the bathroom. Fatty Patty’s tending to her watering obsession right now. That’s right, you dumb ass, water the shit out of the grass so it grows back too fast!

Her patio’s trashed with candles and all kinds of other weird shit. I’d hate to see the inside! I don’t know what the connection is, but piggery and filth seem to go hand in hand. The obese are just slobs for some reason.

Ah, a day in my life without the bitch and beast in it. I like it! I slept with the stereo on, though if it covered any barking, or if it just didn’t happen to bark for a change, I do not know. All I know is that my music computer, as ancient as it is, kept crashing. I went to bed at 6 AM and awoke at 7:30 to find that the music had stopped playing. So I rebooted the computer. When I got up for a minute at 11 AM, it was off again. I’m surprised, as tired as I’ve been, that I only slept 7 hours. I guess most of my fatigue lately is due to stress. I’m like that whenever I have an upcoming move, even if it’s a move I want to make.

Tom checked out the houses on the street he that thinks this small, cheap gas-heated house is on. Of the two houses on the street that appeared vacant, he thought they looked so ideal that he’s going to stop in the office for the exact address tomorrow instead of Friday. Well, if it really is “ideal” for being in the city, we ain’t getting it. God wants us where it’s noisy. Whenever we move to wherever it is we move to, it could happen as early as the 19th of this month or as late as the 5th of next month, but more than likely it’ll be right around the 1st. I’m going to miss some aspects of this duplex, like the new carpet, the spacious rooms, the good shower/toilet pressure, etc., but they certainly aren’t worth holding onto. Even if it were quiet, these electric heaters cost a fortune. And I hate these windows and the fridge.

My teeth and eyes continue to worsen too, so that adds to the stress a bit. I wish the cavity that’s been bothering me for so long would hurry up and widen so the root will be exposed more and die. Then the tooth can fall out altogether and I can be done with yet another damn tooth.

He got himself some really cool lights for his bike since it’s getting darker earlier. They’re pretty neat the way they flash at different speeds and all that.

I’m seriously beginning to wonder if next door hasn’t complained about the dog. This is because not only have I not heard it in the evenings, but I haven’t seen it hang out in the mornings either. The only time it seems to be left out there lately is when she has company. Why else would Pam ask, “Is there a problem?” when he went to give notice and not say something like, “Oh yeah?” or “Oh, okay,” or “You found a house?” I doubt they complained, though. I think she just hasn’t been around.

She’s doing her watering thing right now and I hope to hell I woke her up this morning and that she wasn’t already up! I made a racket by dropping some pans on the kitchen floor right after he left since I knew he’d get all paranoid if I did anything earlier. With my shit luck, though, the shithead was already up or she slept right through it. There was once a time when I could sleep through anything myself.

Since the ancient stereo keeps crashing, we made a universal setup, so now I’m using my work computer for music, too. It’s got some negatives to it, but this way I can use the better speakers to sleep with. I don’t want to use the radio because the commercials may get annoying.

Tomorrow’s supposed to be hot, so if she hasn’t been complained on, it’s likely to flush both bitch and beast out in the evening. Just 28 more days of this shit, then we can swap it in for new shit!

I’m hoping against hope that Pam will be reluctant to have me do show-and-tell for fear of me mentioning the dog to prospective renters and turning them off. Oh, believe me, I won’t say a word. I want this place to go fast so I don’t have to be bothered with the game of show and tell, but you know how it is; we always have to do other people’s work for them and shoulder what should be their responsibility, so I expect the show and tell letter by Saturday. We’d get that a lot quicker than we’d ever get $1200 from his near-rich mother. Sad, isn’t it?

The bitch is sitting out there now, so I’m sure the dog’s with her.

Oh, it’s gone now. Nighty night, bitch.

I was so, so fucking furious today!!! The fucking beast woke me up twice. I crashed around 6 AM, and just after 9 AM was the first time it barked. That was maybe half a dozen barks. I was too tired to get up and bass the rude bitch out for it, and I fell back asleep within an hour. Just two hours later, it went off like crazy at the back door when she had company, and as always, her company was more important. She refused to let the dog in. It barked frantically at the door for a few minutes, then ran to the fence where it barked some more before running back to the door. It didn’t give up for nearly 10 minutes. I wanted to slap the fat off the bitch so bad that my handprint would be forever embedded in her scaly skin! The only reason I didn’t go over there and beat the living snot out of her was that I was not going to be the one to go to jail for beating on old ladies. This bitch may be big, but it’s also weak and badly out of shape. There’d be no competition whatsoever. Not even if she were pissed and I wasn’t. She smokes and can barely stand up after she bends down, so if I went off on her I know I’d do some very serious damage that’d just get me locked up on assault charges. Assault charges may be nothing compared to other things, but still, I don’t need the grief. The dog gives me enough grief as it is. I knew I should’ve fought to keep on days because I knew this was going to happen since she started ignoring it and letting it get out of control and bark all it wants. Again, I have to wonder – does she want to get evicted? Or does she just think she’s invincible because she’s a nut on disability with a so-called service dog?

Bev, goddamn you, why’d you have to move?! At least your grandanimals weren’t here every day. This dog is!

Anyway, after round two, yes, I did give her some bass and some cabinet-slamming, too. I was too tired to let her have it for long, so at 11 AM I dragged one of the stereo speakers over by the bed and crashed on and off till 5:30. If there’s any good to come of this shit, it’s that it hopefully pushed my schedule around faster so I can hurry up and get back on days. I know one thing’s for sure, though, and I don’t care how paranoid Tom is, and that’s that she’s not going to be sleeping well herself. I intend to slam a cabinet door or something just as soon as he gets up at 4:00. If she’s not going to let me sleep, I ain’t about to let her sleep. Furthermore, once he’s left at 5:30, the stereo’s going on really loud till I’m ready to crash. I could still hear the dog over the volume I sleep with it at, but hopefully the fucking thing will blend in with it and not stand out like it does with just the fan and sound machine.

I’m gonna get this bitch so bad with the noise once we’ve officially gotten a place!!! I’ll be the problem she said she didn’t want. She doesn’t want problems with neighbors? Well, she’s got ‘em! I tried to tell Tom that she wouldn’t complain due to where she’s from, and since that’d be admitting that I got to her, but you know how paranoid he is. He’s like, “But we’re so close. All it takes is one complaint. If we go with someone else and they call these people and they say, ‘Oh, they’ve been really good. We’ve only had one complaint on them,’ that could very well mess things up.”

I’ve gotten complaints on me back east for loud music and prank phone calls and none of them ever stopped me from moving, so I’m not worried about it. He said to do what I gotta do anyway, and I intend to do just that! As tired as I still am, the question is, will I be up when he gets up? And how many times do I have to be woken up tomorrow?

I hate God for doing this to me!!! I’m so pissed at Him and I totally resent Him more and more as time goes by. Fuck praying to Him. Why waste my time praying to someone that doesn’t want to hear it and that doesn’t give a damn about me? I truly believe this too; that He doesn’t give a damn. And I know without a doubt that this noise curse will never end. As it is, I told Tom to just get a place that we can afford and that’s in a good location and to hell with what’s around it because people are going to drive me crazy no matter where we go. Country living – just a dream. Just a silly old dream.

He checked out a house managed by this company that’s about 4 miles away and just a minute’s walk from where he works. He said he didn’t know exactly which house it was and that he’d stop in their office to get the exact address, but it looks good, even though the houses are close. He said it’s on a fairly busy one-way street, it’s got gas heat, and it’s $10 cheaper than this place. He said he didn’t hear any dogs, but I’m sure they’re there. Only about 5% - 10% of houses are dogless. I guess that after he’s checked it out and made sure it’s livable, he’s going to put a deposit down on it this Friday as long as no one else grabs it by then.

Anyway, this sick, rude twisted bitch and her beast weren’t out this evening either. I’m assuming this was because it was cool and humid, so as soon as it gets hot again and dries up, they’ll be back to steal my peace and fray my nerves to shreds. It’s almost scary how one can be so seemingly nice and considerate one minute, and become such a rude bitch the next, oblivious to anyone and everyone around them! She’s so locked in her own little world. How do you tap on the wall she’s drawn around her and say, “Hey, there are other people around here besides you, you rude asshole!” It’s a wall I doubt anyone could penetrate without some serious leverage over her.

At least the nights are quiet, unlike Phoenix which never sleeps. You could hear every dog within a 10-mile radius at night there.

I’m still fairly certain she won’t complain. I know how these types of individuals operate. Besides, not everyone’s bothered by a little bass thumping in the background. Not even I’m bothered by those stereos that aren’t that loud and that go by fast enough. It’s only when it’s incredibly loud or hangs around a while that it gets to me. This stereo can’t go as loud as these car stereos or even Bev’s stereo. It’s not an 8-speaker surround sound system. It’s ancient. Not a piece of shit, but nothing to brag about either, so with my shit luck, she barely notices it. With even shittier luck she’ll get someone in here that isn’t noisy and that doesn’t complain. They probably won’t mind the barking and might even be out during workdays.

When the knowledge of us having to be struggling city slickers for another 40-50 years eats at me, I try to think of good things like making California dreaming a reality and having extra spending money, even if it’s only for 5 minutes (Tom thinks we could save $25 a week towards the California move and that I could have $10 a week for fun). Tom could get a lot of those scratch tickets he likes, though I don’t expect them to win much. This isn’t the state for tickets any more than it is for jobs or anything else. I fucking hate it here. Half the time it’s noisy, and the other half it’s cold/snowy. At least in Sacramento, there’ll be just one problem; year-round noise but no cold/snow.

Maybe if we do get a place from them, I can send a shortened email to Pam saying something like, “Thanks for helping us get into a house. We’re glad we could stay with a company we know/trust. The lady we were next to was really driving us batty with the barking, company and blasting TV.” We’ll just see when we get to wherever we’re going. If it weren’t for Tom being a part of my life, despite his paranoia, I’d go batty for damn sure! No matter what shit I’m cursed with in life, I know I’ll never have to go it alone.

We have officially given notice! First, the weather’s just gorgeous now, which may explain why we haven’t heard/seen the dog today, even though I didn’t get up till 2:00. It’s cloudy and cool and because there’s a nice breeze at the moment, we opened the bathroom and bedroom window to let the fresh cool air in. I turned off both the fan and AC and Tom shouldn’t need to sleep with the front door open tonight. By morning it’ll be quite chilly in here, but it’ll save us on AC costs.

I’m truly amazed at how well this oil burner works when it’s not windy in here. The fan blows the heat of the flame out from under the glass dish that the oil sits in, so I only use it when I don’t need the fan going.

It fucking figures – I open the window, turn off the fan, and out they come next door. Why is it always my window they gotta gab under, the rude assholes!

Later…

I had to stop for a while so I could concentrate. If they start up again I’ll put my headphones on.

He hasn’t called anyone yet since we can’t put a deposit down till Friday, but he did talk to Pam. When he went to give notice, she asked if there was a problem. Tom then set aside his paranoia and said that while he didn’t want to come off as a complainer, the dog next door gets annoying. Pam then said, “It’s a medical dog,” in a tone that suggested she didn’t want to let it in in the first place. Yet the law required it.

Meanwhile, Tom was hoping they’d let us stay till September 5th if we had to so that we’d have an extra paycheck. With the 5th being on a Monday, we could take the weekend of the 3rd and 4th to move if we had to. She said just go on the 1st if we can, but that yes, we can stay till the 5th if need be, but we’ll have to pay for those days. That should mount to something like $60.

She didn’t bring up the subject of show-and-tell, so he didn’t either. If we get a letter in the mail saying we have to show the place, he’ll call them and make sure they don’t send anyone before he gets home. I’d rather him wake me up than the doorbell. That way he can let them in and tell them to hang on a sec while he gets me up. Better yet, they’re the ones managing this place, so they should take responsibility for showing it.

Although it’s a remote possibility, the bitch next door might’ve told Pam, “I hear they’re moving soon next door. Meanwhile, I have a friend who’s seen my place and knows they want their place, so let me know when they’re gone and I’ll have them come pay you so they can move in.”

I doubt it, though, or else I’d think she’d have mentioned it to me. Now that she knows the dog gets annoying, maybe she won’t be so quick to be too selective about whom she puts in here. I’m glad Tom mentioned it, because even though I don’t vibe it, we may still get a place from them, and if we do I’m not going to send that email. This way we still got to complain without it affecting us if we do stay with them.

They have a house available right by where he works which is smaller than this place. That’s ok, though. If we could cram our shit into an RV and a 10 x 5 storage unit, we can handle a smaller place. It is a two-bedroom, which is the strongest thing I vibe. I’m almost sure we’ll be going into a two-bedroom. There’s also a house close to here, but it’s on a dead-end which will mean it’d be very noisy with kids playing in the street, etc. It’s ok either way, as I told Tom, because there are two things I’m sure of in this life and that’s that we’ll not only always struggle, but we’ll always live where it’s noisy, so we’ll just take the best deal. I don’t know why God wants us poor and struggling to the tune of other people’s bullshit, but I guess He just feels we don’t deserve any better.

Tom banged his knee up really bad so it’s swollen and painful. I guess he banged it on the bar of his bike after getting his foot caught in the laundry bag. He’s such a klutz on his bike! Hopefully, the spell I put on him will make it better so he has no problem getting to work tomorrow and surviving the day.

It’s another muggy day out which is a good thing because that means the dog’s not out now. Hopefully, they’ll both stay tucked inside and not come out for a couple of hours like they sometimes do in the evenings. It also keeps it from getting as hot which keeps it cooler, and it keeps more moisture in my skin, too.

Tomorrow on his lunch break, Tom’s going to call about a house for rent near here. It’d be great if we could stay in this area by all these stores. It’s on a dead-end which would mean it’ll be noisy, but we’re going to live in noisy places all our lives, so it doesn’t matter. Having spent the first 12 years of my life on a dead-end road, I can personally say that it is indeed an attraction for kids, though I still mainly preferred to play in the backyard. I only hit the street when I’d be bike riding, roller-skating or skateboarding.

Yesterday I never heard one bark, but there’s a simple enough explanation for that. She went out. Didn’t get in till after 11:00. It’s watering now and stuffing itself on the patio. It’s doing its favorite pastime, too – watering. It was a rather humid day today, so it’ll live out there with the beast till sundown.

We walked to the grocery store, stopping at a coffee shop first. On the way back was when we saw her out front watering. I’m sure she saw us too, though she quickly turned to reach for her faucet. When I looked outside a short while later, the sprinkler was still going, so she no doubt turned to the faucet just to make like she didn’t see us so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge our presence in any way. Fine with me!

A guy was fired at work who works on Saturdays in the wire-cutting department. Tom’s hoping to either get his job or more overtime since they obviously don’t care to give him a raise, the greedy assholes. He got overtime last Friday, even though they said there’d be no more after that, so it was one of those times we were glad they didn’t keep their word. He’s thinking they’ll get even more because the newbies keep fucking things up.

Meanwhile, he worked on his bike and I swept. Tomorrow’s when we change the rat and fire up the truck. We’ll probably call some rental ads, too. There’s a house for $410. It’s downtown and probably a piece of shit in a shitty area, but who cares? There’s no peaceful place for Tom and Jodi S, so why not? If we’re not meant to live in peace, then why the hell not? In fact, if it weren’t for my liking to blast my music, we may as well as do apartments.

Nah, let’s get detached and at least eliminate the banging and TVs.

Halfway through another Fatty Patty and the Beast day, but still stressing about what may lie ahead. I really, really want the queen to help us. This is why I’m sure she won’t. The more I think about it, the more I realize that whatever’s up there realizes that we have so much more to gain by her helping us than by my getting to blow off steam at her, and nothing up there wants us having any breaks in life. Nothing!

Meanwhile, I’m going to enjoy the next few hours before the bitch and dog set up camp in back here for the evening so she can sit on her fat ass and gab on the phone while she lets the fucking beast bark by the fence. On the other hand, it’s cloudier than it has been in days, so maybe it’ll cool down earlier. Wrapped up in all that fat, I can see where it’d be unbearable for her in her place on hot, sunny days.

Tom just came in to ask if I needed the bathroom since he was about to take his shower, then jokingly he said, “She’s doing something different over there today.” I asked what that was and he said, “Watering the yard.”

Ha, ha! Yeah, she’s so obsessed with that that there’s no way we’ll need to water again as long as we’re here.

I woke up for a second 2 or 3 hours into my sleep, but I couldn’t say if it was because of the beast or just because or what, but it was nice to have gotten up at noon to know that I had slept through at least 6 hours of this bitch’s day. And in just a couple hours, another day with the splitzo skitzo and the beast will be wrapped up!

She and the beast came out onto the patio a little earlier than I’d have liked right before 6:00. She was on her cell phone and now she’s stuffing herself. I’ve got the headphones on. Why? Because if the fucking piece of fur goes off, I don’t wanna hear it! Besides, I love music anyway. I just hope they’re not there till 8:30 or later.

I almost have to feel bad for her. She’s so fat, so ugly and so crazy, that it’s obvious that she’ll always be alone, let alone ever have even so much as a one-nighter again in her life.

Anyway, for 3 nights in a row, I’ve tried to keep an open mind about praying to God to allow his mother to care enough to help us, and for us to get moved without any major upsets and setbacks. This doesn’t mean I’ll ever be His buddy or agree with His ways in general, but I’m hoping against hope that the prayers will at least pay off if only to a small degree.

Later…

She’s still on the phone, so the rude bitch is going to just let the fucking dog sit there at the corner of my bedroom where the dividing fence starts, to bark its ass off at next door which now has the doors open. I’m sure the cats are out, too. I hope to hell this mother-fucker isn’t out much longer. And I hope to hell that Pam tells her of my future email and that the next person in here does something! I’m sure neither will be the case, though. Oh, why oh why didn’t that housekeeper’s dog attack and kill this one?!?! It’s like, get off the fucking phone and get inside, bitch, and take your damn dog with you!

The bitch is now off the phone and the dog is on the patio, but I still wish they’d get inside. What are they out now for anyway? It wasn’t overly hot out today.

I suppose it was silly of me to worry about having to show this place to any of her buddies. Why should I when they can just see her place? It’s the same thing, just in reverse and with shittier carpet and probably shittier flooring, too. I just don’t want her to have any friends in here. I want her to either get someone who drives her crazy or who complains like hell against her. Or both!

The dog’s still very loud, especially when on the patio, despite the foam I stuck in that window. So I figured why deprive myself of extra light and spying spots and so I pulled it out. Unfortunately, sound is a very difficult thing to block as opposed to light and other things. I think I’ll have to sleep with the stereo on like in Phoenix when I’m sleeping throughout most of the day. Before I was sleeping through it because it was just a couple of barks a couple of times a week. But now there are tons of barking on a daily basis and I don’t have to be a genius to know I can’t possibly sleep through it. Not even when I’m in a deep sleep. If it does wake me up we can always wake her up when I’m up at the time he gets up bright and early at 4 AM and slam a few cabinets. I totally meant it when I said I’m dishing the shit back that I get from people. And I don’t care if it’s childish or what/who the person(s) is either. They can be pigs, the president; they can be God for all I care! One can only sit back and do nothing for so long, you know? The only reason I’m not bashing the dog’s head in with a hammer is that we’re about to give notice (animal cruelty is hard to prove if you keep your mouth shut and don’t leave evidence around, though next door could witness it if they happened to be at their windows), and the only reason I’m not attacking her is cuz I know I could kill her with just one mild punch. She’s heavy, out of shape, and she smokes and so she’d be no match for me.

I doubt the queen will give a damn about helping us, but another possibility just dawned on me. I wonder if she may send at least half of the money and make it $600? I doubt she’ll send any more than what she sent for his birthday and our anniversary, so I think I’ll be getting to tell her off real soon. I have mixed emotions about this, too. Yes, I want to give her a piece of my mind, but I also want the $1200 and future birthday, Christmas and anniversary money, and maybe an inheritance, too. Maybe God will let me have my say after all since I’d think it’d be worth it to Him to see that we lose this extra money.

Something else just dawned on me. Again there’s been no TV going over there, and I just can’t believe she wouldn’t have it on if she were home. Also, she usually pulls the dog in for a few hours around noon, yet it’s still out there. I’m wondering if yesterday and today she was out somewhere and didn’t get in till the afternoon. This would explain why the TV didn’t go on till then and why the usual morning visitors came so late. She totally strikes me as the type to risk the dog’s safety to spite people, too.

Later…

So far there’s been no company and two barking fits, and yeah, the bitch probably has been home all day. The TV went on not too long ago. Anyway, she’s on another one of her multi-hour watering sprees, even though she just watered for 6 hours a couple of days ago. What does the skitzo think this is? The desert?

To no longer have the pressure of having to get to bed on time takes some of the stress off me. Now I just gotta figure out how I’m going to sleep through the barking. He thinks it’ll be no problem, but I don’t see how it could be “no problem.” The fucking thing practically lives out there now. No, it doesn’t go on and on for hours like the Arizona dogs, but it’s annoying enough. I could at least fan other dogs out, but not this one. It’s simply too damn close.

If all goes well, we should have the keys to the new place around Friday, August 26th, which would mean exactly 30 days left here. When the fucking dog gets going, those 30 days sure seem to stretch to the hundreds! That’s why I hope I can be on nights for a while. That way I can be awake when it’s peaceful (I don’t expect her to do too many midnight barbecues, although I didn’t expect her to keep the dog outside ignored and unattended so damn much either), and it makes the time go by faster that way. I don’t know why, but being on nights always seemed to make the days pass faster.

The fat tub of shit’s sitting on its patio now doing what it does best – eating. I’m not surprised. After all, it hit the 90s today. She’s no doubt jealous of my AC! She’s not on the phone, so maybe she’ll do something about it if the dog barks, but I doubt it. Those days seem to be completely over with, but that’s ok. Pam will be in for quite an earful soon enough. Make that quite an eyeful, since I intend to email her.

Now I can’t figure out what she’s doing. Is she playing a game? She’s got a candle lit, too. A mosquito-repellant candle? Religious candle? Wouldn’t surprise me if she was religious. She’s crazy enough to be. So many religious people are some of the craziest and deadliest people in the world. A man was just sentenced to death in California for killing 7 of his kids and 2 of his grandkids. He believed he was Jesus and that he had to rape and molest his daughters and nieces. Religious people in general really scare me! The bigoted ones are bad enough, but the ones who swear God ordered them to kill are really freaky as hell.

Today we mailed out a letter written by me to the queen. I said I knew I couldn’t ask her to send the money (I told her how much we needed), but hoped she’d consider it. I also returned the checks and explained that due to the problems with the bank, we can’t cash them, and to please send money via Western Union or money order.

Meanwhile, I’m going to hope that once again God wants to keep me from speaking my mind so bad that he’ll have her have a heart and care enough to send the money like Tom thinks she will. If not, she most certainly is going to get the letter of her life! In fact, I’m going to try to jinx her into sending it by jumping the gun. Quite often if I jump the gun and start a project of some kind, I end up finding that I did it for nothing. In fact, I’m really good at working for nothing, so I’ll go begin the “fuck you” letter I fully intend to send if she blows us off. Tom thoroughly agrees it’d be ok to do so at that point and is ok with my emailing Pam once we’ve moved and gotten our deposit. Good, because that’s exactly what I intend to do.

The petal-picking fatso let the dog go berzerk a few times after Tom got home, but she watered the entire backyard. How strange of her to be nice enough to water our side when she can’t be nice enough to give us much peace. She only does her half of the front, though that makes sense since she owns the whole backyard as far as she’s concerned.

As she went to reel the hose in as the sun was setting, she glanced at our kitchen window and then at the bedroom window where I was watching her. At one point I could swear she looked right at me for a few seconds, although I know there’s no way she could’ve seen me, not that I really cared. We have a right to look out our windows.

Today’s been unusually quiet. I saw the dog out during the morning hours, as usual, but there’s been no barking and no sign of it for a few hours. I don’t even hear the TV. I think she’s out. She wouldn’t be this quiet if she was here and she wouldn’t have the TV off either. She’s like most people when it comes to TVs – obsessed.

I have to wonder – what makes people change overnight like this? Not that she was ever the most considerate neighbor in the world, but she was pretty close to it compared to how she’s been lately, so what happened? Did she just quit taking her head pills or what? It can’t be because I offended her by asking when her company was to leave because she started leaving the dog out to bark before that, and she didn’t seem offended when I mentioned the TV to her, so I guess she’s just like most people in that she says she is what she isn’t and vice versa. In other words, her saying she’s with the dog when it’s out long hours really means she’s not with it. And her saying she doesn’t want any problems with neighbors really means she wouldn’t mind them at all. People are strange, that’s for sure!

Later…

Well here’s something new. First of all, my peace ended about a half-hour ago when the dog took a couple of ignored barking sprees at the fence. I gave them a little bass concert while I sang and then found that the red pickup arrived at some point during the concert. I’ve never seen it come this late in the day. The dog’s now inside, though I know it’ll be back outside to bark on and off till around 9:00.

If the chick with the truck has any sense, she’ll try to talk sense into this asshole by insisting she toughen up with the dog if she wanted a shot at shutting me up, but even if she did say this, the bitch is just too stubborn to be reasoned with. All she’d do is come back with something like, “It’s my dog so I’ll do what I want with it, and to hell with her!” It’s almost like a game, like a little competition, to people like her. What, does she want to get evicted so she can go live in this private, secluded place on the coast that she said she still has a “chance” of doing? The next person is likely to complain, but then again, most people not only don’t give a shit if they annoy others with their noise, but they don’t care about others who are noisy either. Especially out west. Another thing is that if she is by some chance annoyed by the music, which even an idiot like her has got to know is because of the dog, she’d just complain. Not do something about the dog.

Later…

The truck’s gone. That was fast. Still no TV, though. I don’t know, maybe the blimp is sick or something. God knows I’ve put enough spells on her to make her that way!

Later…

Here’s another new twist; not only is she back to blasting the TV, but that ugly navy car is visiting now. Naturally, this means the rude bitch has left the dog out back to bark up a storm. I finally stuck some soft foam in the window on that side, though I don’t know how effective it’ll be. Probably not much. It’s simply too damn loud and too damn close. I can’t wait to make this sick bitch and her bitch of a dog a memory even if it means making new nuts and dogs a reality! Anyway, the foam is a pretty good fit with the AC in that window, but there is about a 2” gap up top.

The car went as quickly as it came just like with the pickup, but anyway, this dog’s about as fucked up as she is. It was barking at the fence earlier. Meanwhile, I looked yet there was nothing there. No cats, no people, not even any birds. Then it was barking silently, not that I can complain about that.

Meanwhile, I agree with Tom; it’s silly to worry about my schedule this soon. It’s going to be at least a week before it’s show and tell time, and like I’d really object to being shorted on sleep just to get out of this place when the time comes. Yeah, right! I just don’t know how I’m going to sleep through all the fucking barking??? Not even earplugs added to the fan, the AC and the sound machine block this mother-fucker out! I’d love to be able to sleep through it and be on nights. It’s the only time it’s peaceful around here these days.

I hope the fucking beast doesn’t go off when I’m showing the place because that could turn them off and delay this place getting rented. Then again, most people are noisy, nor do they care about other people’s noise.

In better news, I got a letter from Mary. I knew she couldn’t go so long without asking for a favor, but it’s okay. She wants me to email her book to somebody named Ann so she can brush up some passages only as I told her, I not only don’t have this person’s email address, but her file’s too big. The free email accounts only allow you so much space to send/receive stuff. She offered to send stamps, and I told her that if she sent 5 stamps, along with Ann’s physical address, I’d send the disk to her in my own envelope.

I also asked that she pray to God for us to make it out of here okay and for his mother to care enough to help us since I still resent Him so much that it’s hard for me to turn to Him myself. I’m sure she’ll jump right to it, too! Not surprisingly, the foam was worthless.

I slept for 8 hours which is better than 6, but I could’ve used 10. When I awoke, I asked myself the usual question: What shit will the fat bitch next door sic on me today? So far there’s been a few-minute barking spree at the back door when the dog wanted to be let in to greet her usual weekday company along with her. But as is always the case these days, greeting her company and ignoring the dog was more important than risking possible complaints and eventual eviction. As it is, she’s spiting herself by not controlling the barking and having to listen to my bass pounding over there which is exactly what she gets when she ignores the fucking beast. I can’t believe she can’t hear it and that she’s not bothered by it, though with my shit luck, God’s blocking the sound from her or having it be that she’s not at all bothered by it. She’s obviously not afraid of any possible complaints. Or maybe her attitude is: I’m not always good at keeping the dog from barking, so I deserve the bass concerts she gives me for it. But somehow I doubt this is the case. This has proven to be a rather defiant, rebellious person who would never accept blame or admit that they deserved anything.

She’s also got to know that she’s spited herself out of knowing when we give notice unless he sends it in writing (since they’ll be closed before he gets out of work if he keeps getting overtime) and Pam gets the letter before she comes in and then mentions it to her.

Tom, who’s notorious for being overly paranoid, doesn’t want to complain for fear of it hindering us from getting a place, so I decided he can have his way on that one, but not with what I intend to do once we’ve moved and received our deposit. He’s the one that says we should go on the offensive and not just sit back and take shit anyway. I’m going to email Pam and let her know that we moved because Patty made living there unbearable with the dog, TV and company and the only reason we didn’t speak up sooner was that we were afraid of how she might react (I thought that one would be better than saying we feared we couldn’t get a place because I know better). In doing this I would feel like we did truly go on the offensive and we did “fight back” and speak up without sitting back and just taking it. People need to learn that we’re not going to silently sit back and put up with their shit, so this will be a good place to start. A tiny town like this is the last place we’d want to give the wrong message by sending a message saying we’re wimps that people can walk all over. It may not change anything and the bitch may never hear of the email, but at least I’ll feel like I’ve done something. Also, if the next person in here complains, my complaint will back theirs up and give them more credibility.

This is so just like old times. So just like it. I’m back in Phoenix again, minus the basketball games. But will I ever get to live in the country again and have that be just like old times, too? Of course not!

As for his shit of a mother, he says he can’t explain it but that his gut instinct says she’ll send the money we need to get ahead. Well, my logic says she won’t, but Marjorie S isn’t always a very logical person. If she blows us off, she’ll be hearing all the things I’ve been dying to tell her for nearly a year now. Maybe God knowing that will be enough for Him to influence her to send it after all, which I’d certainly prefer.

Later…

The dog gave one bark at the back door and she let it in right away. Now that’s certainly more tolerable than the multi-minute barking sprees, but I wish she’d do the right thing instead and only let it out long enough to piss and shit while she waited for it at the door. Anyway, hopefully she’ll keep it inside for more than 5 minutes. Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to survive the next 5½ weeks here! I tell myself it’s better than 26 weeks in jail, but it’s bad enough at times.

Tom says that if he could get 2-3 more weeks of overtime, it’ll help a lot with the move. He’s hopeful that the owners will be more generous to him when giving him a raise because they just got paid 30 grand for a big project. I still only see a quarter or maybe 40¢ because we’re still under a financial curse that’s going to last what’ll probably be for the rest of our lives.

Next weekend is when we’re going to fire up the truck. That’s exciting! That’ll make the move seem like it’s getting a bit more real, so to speak. I love our weekly walks and I look forward to getting a bike of my own next spring, but I also look forward to having the truck registered and licensed because it gives me more of a sense of freedom. It’s also good to know that if we did want to go somewhere 10 miles away, we could. We could also haul more stuff in it than we could carry, too.

It’s only 78º in here right now and it’s already coming up on 2:00. That’ll save us money right there since I won’t need the AC for most of the day.

Later…

Finally received the canvas shoes from Gravis. FedEx left them by the door while I was listening to music. I was beginning to wonder if they’d ever come. The whole process took a while. I won them on May 31st, wasn’t notified till June 24th, and now I just got them. That’s 2 months from when I won them. Better later than never, I guess. I’m hoping my name got snagged again and that I just don’t know it yet. Tom thinks I’ll get another win before the move. I hope so! Little wins are nice, but God do I want big money! I’d even settle for just a grand if I can’t have many thousands or millions. I hope these shoes aren’t simply a case of beginner’s luck or something up there that’s just teasing me with thinking I can win at least every other month, only to end up like that poor person who swept for years just to win nothing.

Anyway, the shoes are nicer than I envisioned. They look more like sneakers than the canvas shoes I have. The only sucky thing is that they’re lace-ups and not Velcro, but I’m sure Tom won’t mind.

They enclosed a DVD and a CD, but it doesn’t look like anything exciting. It’s just about their products.

It’s definitely cooler than it has been. The AC didn’t come on till 4:45, and of course next door’s back to slamming doors. I am looking so forward to getting out of here! As much as I hate the annoyances around here, well, if there’s any good in it it’s that it only strengthens my desire to move and makes the idea of it all the more exciting.

Later…

Miss Bubble Butt’s out there right now fiddling with the rosebush that’s at the corner of the bedroom where the dog sometimes takes its fit. What the hell she’s doing to them, I do not know. It looks like she’s peeling all the petals off. What’s she doing that for? Why do I always end up with the nuts, if not the freeloaders? All I know is that no one in their right mind walks up to a rosebush and plucks its petals unless they’re not wired right.

Later…

The dog went off while she was doing whatever weirdo thing she was doing to the roses and she ignored it completely till I blasted my music. That drove them inside rather fast, but the dog was back out just a few minutes later. It might be back in now, but I’ve got the headphones on.

Tom’s home now. He worked 3 hours of overtime today which is good, but what’s not good is that the overtime is going to end after Thursday. And we don’t even know if he’s going to get a raise of any kind yet.

I hope those animals aren’t on their way over, even though she rarely has company on weekends. It’s just that she’s got sun tea sitting out there and the only other time I saw her make that was right before they came over. I’m sure they’ll be back at some point, though, before we can get out of here. I would just prefer it to be while he’s working so that only one of us has to deal with it.

Meanwhile, I haven’t been up even 4 hours and already it’s been a shitty day. Next door was out gabbing their asses off this morning and I couldn’t even take a dump in peace. I heard one of them yell out, “Sadie, get away from that fence!” at one point.

On our way back from the store where we picked up an oil burner that was overpriced yet just beautiful with flowers and butterflies.

I finally decided to take a crack at his mother, and I swear to God that if she doesn’t help us I will give her a hell of a piece of my mind and I won’t care if it screws me out of my birthday and Christmas money! I’ll be like most people and I’ll gladly spite myself to spite her. I didn’t specifically ask her for help, but I explained the situation, why it’s so hard to get good jobs here, and said that I sincerely hope she’d consider helping us after all Tom’s done for her in the past. We’re also going to return the checks and explain that we simply can’t cash them because we don’t have an account here.

People just can’t die when you need them to. Assuming his shit of a mother doesn’t spite us out of it, I wouldn’t be surprised if his inheritance came at a time when we weren’t so needy. On the other hand, we’ll always be needy, so her death will be a blessing to us at any time.

Tom says not to jump the gun by assuming Sacramento will be noisy, but that’s common sense, noise-cursed or not. That’d be like my saying that I wasn’t going to assume it snows in Japan just because others say it does when I’ve never been there to see so for myself. Any warm climate is going to be noisy. Unless it’s a resort or a retirement community with noise regulations or ordinances of whatever kind, no warm place is going to be peaceful. Dogs are going to be left out to bark all day and all night, kids are going to practically live outdoors, basketball games are going to be a regular thing, people are going to blast music more often outdoors, etc.

I couldn’t get to sleep till nearly 1:00 last night because of the fat bitch next door. One thinks to themselves, how much disturbance can a 50-something-year-old lady be, yet I sometimes feel like we’ve got a college kid next to us!

I was close to falling asleep at 11:15 when her bright and obnoxious back light came on. I figured she was just letting the dog out for its final shit of the day. When the light was still on 15 minutes later I got up and peered out to see the dog lying on the patio. My first thought was that she was going to start leaving it out overnight as I had feared, but then she came out and barbecued. I never heard a thing, but between the stress of knowing they were there, and the light being on for an hour, it didn’t help me fall asleep at all. So because of this fat pig that always seems to have to eat, I’m tired today. I’d like to go to bed earlier tonight, but I’m not usually good at getting myself to do that, tired or not, and of course I doubt these people would let me in the first place. So much for breathing a sigh of relief at 10 PM and thinking that’s it for the day as far as the blimp and the dog are concerned. That’s so rude too, to take your dog out so close to others at that hour, even if you’re pretty sure it won’t bark. If we do get stuck here, I’m emailing Pam and letting her know what’s going on around here. Then we won’t move till we can go to Sacramento because I’m not going to “try” for the fourth time to get out of here. I’m not going to be teased with getting out of here like something up there seems to want to do to me. If it wants us here that bad, we’ll stay and we’ll figure out a way to deal with these people’s shit. If there’s no escape, there’s no escape, period. Tom still doesn’t think there’ll be a problem, but he’s never doubtful of anything. It’s not his nature to be. His nature is to believe things will always work out.

To make matters worse, the breakage curse is picking on the music computer. It’s almost as if something up there is saying, “I will not let you block out the noisy neighbors I want you to listen to year after year, nor will I allow you to be noisy back.” Well, headphones in the work computer can block them out, but I couldn’t give them a taste of their own medicine with its little wimpy speakers. Tom replaced the music computer’s cable, so maybe that’ll help it. He’s got backup drives and motherboards if they’re necessary, too.

I never thought I’d say this, but I wish it were winter at least from 6 PM-10 PM. No, make that till midnight. I’ve glanced out the window to see lights on next door that late, so this bitch obviously doesn’t need much sleep because no matter how late it goes to bed, it’s right back up again at 6 AM on the dot. Anyway, if it were winter the dog wouldn’t be outside so much (I’d hope not!), it’d be dark earlier, and no one would be hanging out barbecuing. I’m so sick of this place! Totally sick of it! Every other time I walk up to the sink and look out the window, the dog’s right there. Talk about an eyesore and a nerve twanger!

Why must life be so complicated for us? Why can’t we just live in peace? Why must we have one problem after another?