I’m starting this entry with 138 views from someone, who as a friend said, puts the creep in creepy. We’re virtual strangers yet she has become rather fixated on me. I’m glad Harlingen, Texas is far away! I started to wonder if she were running a BOT on me, not that I think she’d be smart enough to write one from what little I know about her. I can’t even write one and my IQ is in the genius range. I have Tom write them for me when I want one for some reason. But then the views stopped climbing at 8pm her time when she hit 117. So for 14 hours, she sat there clicking on my blog like crazy and now she’s back at it again, clicking away with just a few short breaks here and there. It’s sad and it’s crazy, but it’s a bit funny at the same time the way Alison, Kim and I are keeping “score” of her views. I seem to be well in the lead so far, LOL. Even Tom got a kick out of it when I told him about it.

The spells I did stopped Tom’s cold! jumps for joy He’s much better!

Still loving my new ratty. Each time I let him out he goes further away from home, obviously deciding he’s earned his freedom faster than I think he has. He even cuddled with me for a few minutes, something rats don’t usually do being such animated creatures.

Today Tink’s learning the words “upstairs” and “downstairs.” He has to go upstairs to get food through the food hole, and downstairs to come out and play. Yesterday he learned his name and “no!”

Now here’s something really neat and for once and for all I’m going to document every single dream I have no matter how trivial, meaningless or silly they may seem. I was just getting into bed last night when it hit me – the dark brown baby rat on the bed!

I ran into the living room where Tom was working on his PC and said, “The dark brown baby rat on the bed!”

At first he was confused, then I reminded him of the dream I had (for just a split second) where I was playing with a dark brown baby rat on the bed, and how he had said, “Now why can’t that be a premonition? Why are you so sure lately that only your bad dreams mean anything?”

Well, it sure did end up being a premonition! I just didn’t know it at the time. Sometimes I know it right away, other times I don’t. And sometimes the premonition comes true right away, other times it takes weeks or even months. Anyway, this is one of my cooler dream premonitions.

So here’s what I remember from last night’s dreams: Me waiting for Tammy to return to a hotel room at 5:30 AM from a night job she’d never work, and Maliheh sending me a message trying to tell me that her state has no area codes.

The palpitations seem to come at the end of my day lately, but at least they haven’t woken me up after that one time.

They were right about the bird nest too; those who told me that birds hatching in a nest by your house brought good luck. After this happened he not only got a job after nearly two years, but a good-paying job, and now we have a rat that’s everything a pet rat should be.

I ran out of patience again and sent Nane’s final message that I wasn’t going to send for a few more days, spilling the beans on her this morning. She has been in since I sent it too, and corrected one submission. I’m a little surprised there wasn’t any reaction from her. I didn’t expect her to reply, but I thought she might at least be curious enough to check out my blog since I thanked her for the nice “comment” she left. I thought she might even unfriend me, but nope. Nothing.

Holy shit! Crazy Molly’s been in my blog 60 times since I blocked her yesterday. I can still see how many times the tracker has blocked her when I check the exclusion area. That is one strangely obsessed woman! Not even Marie was that obsessed with me. I never read her own blog, though, as like I said, I don’t know her and I don’t care to know her. And she’s welcome to say whatever she wants to about me in the forums someone told me she’s badmouthing people in.

Ok, now for the wonderful day I’ve been having so far. Well, there’s no need to go out running today as my new baby gave me quite a workout! Yeah, baby rats are quick and full of energy, LOL.

Going in order of events, we took off just before 10:00. We could tell that Jesse was doing something (as usual) since both the ATV and bulldozer were at the side of the main drive which is also where we ran into Whiskey and Brandy.

We got burgers and fries at Carl’s Jr. (we love their burgers), then we browsed through Goodwill where I got some incense which I promised myself I’d never get again due to the mess it makes (peach, vanilla, strawberry and opium), and Tom got a keyboard he liked as a backup. I also got this thing – I have no idea what you call it – that you put outdoors that sort of spins in the wind like a windmill. It’s got a colorful butterfly design and it looks pretty cool. It sits out on the deck railing.

Next, it was off to Best Buy where I got a new keyboard. It has multi-media and everything I like to have on a keyboard, but it will take me a little time to get used to the new layout as some of the keys are arranged a little differently than the other piece of shit I’d been using. It’s totally worth it, though, to have a keyboard with keys that don’t stick! Yeah, I just might work on my story this weekend after all – woot!

Lastly, it was off to Petco. “Now we’re not going to get anything,” I told Tom. “We’re just going to stop and look.”

“Okay, whatever you say,” he said. “It’s up to you.”

Barely 10 minutes later we walked out with the cutest baby ratty I’ve been calling Tinkerboy. Tinkerbell, who we had from 2005 - 2007 was all brown like this little guy is, but this guy’s darker, almost black. His fur is soft and shiny and he’s got white bands around his legs that almost look like he’s got socks on, and white on his tummy. The name came to me before we left the store.

There were 3 rats in all. One with markings like the last 4 we had, one white one, then this one. I almost didn’t bother because they were older than I preferred. The guy said the brown and white ones had been there for about 3 months. Brown rats are my favorite. I just like that natural look when it comes to rats. So I asked the guy if I could handle the brown one, and he was saying how rats aren’t usually big sellers because of the disease stereotypes that go with them, the snake-like tails, etc., but that they’re much smarter than other rodents and it was what he himself preferred when it came to small pets. Stuff we already know about, but that didn’t apply to what we had for rats the last couple of times. The last two pairs weren’t very smart or friendly at all. They weren’t mean and they didn’t bite, but they just didn’t want to interact with us if they could help it except to get food. Most rats can run around loose for hours, but not the last pairs. They were destructive and they wouldn’t come when I would call them to go home. One simply shouldn’t have to work for an hour to get a pet rat in its cage. I eventually took away their “loose” privileges because of it.

So the guy goes to get a box for the rat and as he’s walking back to the cage, I commented on how cute it was to see them playing together. Rats play much like puppies and kittens do – chasing, pinning, jumping and wrestling. I often call them “ratdogs” because of their dog-like behavior. So that’s when he noticed that we knew a thing or two about rats (haven’t been without rats since 1998) and that so many people go running to him saying, “Hey, your rats are fighting!” As he said, though, you’ll know it when they’re fighting with the way they squeal so loud. The first pair we had in this place used to fight at times, and once they woke me up and I had to go out and tell them to shut the fuck up. They listened, too!

Now the Tex-Ass is up to 71 views. Is that all she does all day; just sits there clicking on my blog? As well as my friends’ blogs? Though I don’t think she’s hitting theirs as much. Yeah, I’m so damn entertaining, aren’t I? LOL

Tinkerboy shit on me in the store, which is common the first few times you handle them, but then they’ll keep their shit confined to their homes. We almost got the white one too, since they really seemed attached to each other, but after me and the guy tried for 5 minutes to pick him up unsuccessfully I said, “Forget him. I don’t want him. After nearly 3 years of timid rats, I just don’t want to deal with any more antisocials, if I can help it.”

Rats are pretty much always going to be who they are personality-wise. You just can’t tame a timid rat and turn it into a people rat like this guy and most rats are.

Although females are typically smarter, this little fella already knows his name and the word “no” when he starts going places I don’t want him to go until I childproof the place. Yes, rats can have a lot of freedom and will basically use their cage as a litter box and a place to eat and drink, but you still have to watch them somewhat. They’re still rodents, they still like to chew, and some are worse than others. They also like to mark their territories with pee-pee, which is just about everything, LOL, including you, but they make such good pets that they’re worth it. Even Tom prefers them as pets and he thinks they look mean and ugly, unlike myself who thinks they’re the cutest animal in the world.

76 views now for the Texwad. I tease Kim and Alison, saying they must be jealous of me getting so much more attention from her and – oh wow! Two more votes, and now my journal is in the lead!

What’s amazing is that Tink started eating, exploring and playing with me within hours of getting him home. Most rats won’t eat much the first day, and he’s already addicted to running around loose. He plays with me too, and I can already tell he’ll soon be chasing me up and down the place. Rats “play” by chasing your hand as you reach out to quickly place your palm on their backs and shake them. They start running and jumping like crazy when they get all playful and excited, but you have to be careful because they do sometimes play nips when they really get going. And watch your earlobes when they’re on your shoulders, LOL! I’m making a point of handling him 2 or 3 times an hour to get him used to me, but like I said, he’s super friendly and he loves people. I already totally love him, too!

I treated him to his first taste of cheese and chocolate, something Petco definitely doesn’t serve up, LOL, and have him in the smallest of our 3 cages right now. Fancy rats, which are the name of this breed, are bred to get bigger than wild rats, so he’ll eventually be moved into a much bigger cage. Rats can collapse their rib cages and squeeze through tiny openings, so he has to get pretty big before he can be moved into the bigger cage which is actually a ferret cage. He runs to the door every time I walk by, LOL!

Whoa, 88 views now!

I’m surprised I haven’t gotten any rashes after handling him as rats can do that to you at first and give you these itchy red blotches, but it only lasts for a few minutes. I usually just throw on some hydrocortisone if it gets to be too much, but this one hasn’t bothered me.

So now I won’t be 100% alone when Tom’s at work. And I hope the cold he’s developing won’t get so bad that it keeps him from working! He definitely can’t afford to miss any days being this new on the job, but yeah, he’s got a sore throat and other cold symptoms. I’m trying my best to do my spells, but as of yet they only help keep his colds from getting overwhelming, but they don’t stop or prevent them like I can do with myself. He even took a nap for a while earlier.

I posted pics of him climbing his mama’s fat legs in my blog.

I can’t stop the Texnut from viewing this blog, nor do I care if she does, but I don’t need to be reminded of her existence either. And so I blocked her IP from tracking any record of her visits. Ha, ha, cagna! Tu sei una loca puttana con niente meglio a fare.

Last night as I lay down to go to bed the palpitations started and I was worried I’d be woken up by them, but I wasn’t and slept just fine.

The dogs are getting worse again as we head toward the fall. It’s nice to know we’re no longer stuck here and could move anytime we wanted to. Only problem is we’d just have to listen to someone else’s dogs wherever we went, so if we did move it would only be because we got a good deal on a place closer to where Tom works.

Bambi’s here now. She comes around every morning and grazes about the area. I was heading out to hang some clothes, but I don’t want to scare her, so I’ll wait till she’s done finishing her breakfast.

Later…

Wow, Maliheh’s late in checking out my blog today! Hope it isn’t due to my making reference to her being beat out by the Tex-Ass! Or how seeing her appear on the list puts a smile on my face.

Later…

Maliheh made it back! I thought she might’ve decided to “punish” me by taking the day off. She didn’t hit my blog till 1:30 my time.

Tom said to feel free to stop working anytime I want, woo-hoo! Yeah, I’m back to living the good life, even if I’m still living in a dump, LOL. Where I was so cursed and so stressed out for so long, it’s nice to once again be that spoiled, pampered little housewife! Only this time around I’m not the high-maintenance woman I used to be wanting to spend $100 a month on crap she doesn’t need. Oh, I’ll still get some goodies as I’m only human. And I’ll still do at least a little work at the job site as I’m greedy and like money. For the most part, though, I will be a full-time author and language learner/teacher/translator.

Tom and I sat down, made a list of all our expenses and saw that we’d have nearly $500 leftover each month. So yeah, I quit! For the most part anyway. dances with delight Yes, life is getting better! I hope it stays this way for a long time, too. I expressed my worries about him being laid off, but he said it seemed very unlikely and that if anything they were looking to add more people. He asked me if I had any more vibes or dreams about moving to another rental. The only one I remember makes no sense. The house was bigger and newer, but it seemed like it was attached to Jesse. No thanks!

It was a busy week for me because I had so much to do, so I’m going to allow myself to relax this weekend, as hard as it may be because I’m such a workaholic. I hate just sitting around anyway. Even so, I might not work on my story till next week. Who knows, I might not even blog. In the morning we’ll be going out to check out new desk chairs and keyboards. The cool thing is that if I happen to find one I like, I can get it and not have to just wish I could! jumps for joy

Jen’s ignoring me and I’m ignoring Marie, both for the better. Yeah, Jen picked up my message on MySpace a few days ago, and Marie called today from a number I didn’t recognize. I didn’t say anything when she said, “How’re you doing?” and I realized who it was. I just hung up. I’m surprised she hasn’t come at me in emails or hit my blog. I guess she’s still in New York. It hit me afterward that today was her birthday. She’s my age now, but only for a few months. Anyway, I will always love her and think of her and wish the best for her, as I’ve said before. But I can’t go back to the 20 emails a day and her going off on me and insisting I’m plotting against her if I fail to reply to one of them in 5 minutes. I know it’s not her fault she is the way she is, but one has to consider their own selves at least somewhat, don’t they? I would rather Maliheh email me 20 times a day than her just once a day! Maliheh’s not crazy no matter how much of an insensitive bitch she may come off as. And maybe she’s mellowed out over the years for all I know.

There goes the palpitations again. No, heart, don’t do that! Has anyone else who may be reading this ever experienced heart palpitations? It’s a noticeable fluttering or racing of the heart where it beats hard enough to be noticeable, but it’s not like after you’ve done something strenuous. Most of the time our heartbeat isn’t noticeable, but this sure is even if you’re completely still at the time. It usually only does it for a few beats at a time. If anyone’s familiar with this, let me know. I just hope it doesn’t wake me up and spoil tomorrow’s plans!

I still don’t miss the rat, but it’s weird being petless and not having him around to share a little of whatever I’m eating as rats can eat anything.

The rat finally died. I was really beginning to think he’d never die, but this morning we both noticed he was wheezing really badly. We’re guessing that the tumor, as huge as it had gotten, ended up choking him. I wish I could say I was all in tears and going to miss him, but Tom’s sadder than I am. I just didn’t care much for this rat. Most rats are highly intelligent and friendly, but this one was rather antisocial. Biggest rat we ever had, though, at around 2 pounds.

I don’t know what I want next. Another rat? A dog? Nothing? Oh well, I don’t have to decide today.

It has been long enough since it’s rained that I’m starting to miss it, but I don’t want it around to cool things down either. Unlike yesterday it ended up getting warm enough to need the cooler and is to be warmer over the next few days. Hope it lasts!

I passed Esperanto 101 with a 98% jumps for joy Woo-hoo! squeals with delight My highest score yet! dances like crazy

Someone recently asked if most of my visitors come from elsewhere or directly. It used to be that they’d mostly come from elsewhere, but lately it’s getting to be 50/50, whatever that means. That damn Texskitzo is taking the lead from the star of my story. Well, I just might be a “nasty influence” on her. Those who know me know that people tend to get sick when they annoy me enough. My own family can vouch for that, including my SIL and MIL. I’d rather exercise my “witchy” side on scratch tickets, though, in a positive way. I guess this weekend will be when I’ll take another shot at it.

I’m too tired to get into the Maliheh dream now as it was a very busy day for me. I left a note to myself in Word to do it some other time. Her story is now just over 23K words.

Yesterday’s scratch ticket was a $5 winner! Yes, the influencer is back! As I said to Tom, I should be able to psych every 3 out of 4 tickets to win soon enough just like I used to. He said he’d gladly settle for 2 out of 4, LOL.

I slept well last night and feel much more refreshed today. Just a few bouts of chest pain and palpitations, but nothing major. I should be well enough to get out running today. The weather will be ideal for it. I added Maliheh’s weather to my weather list. She’s going to be in the 90s while we’re only going to be in the 70s. No fair! Even Andy’s going to be in the 80s.

I had a dream about Maliheh that was both funny and not so funny, but I don’t have time to get into it right now. I expect to be busy all week, so I don’t even know if I’ll get any more of the story posted this week, but I’m going to try my best.

Later…

Oh no! A crazy lady in Texas is taking the lead over my imaginary girlfriend!

Of course, both could’ve been in several times before I checked again. It overwrites the last time the same visitor came in on the same date.

I will never ever let this man do the dusting again. When he got laid off clutches stomach (I will never have 3 servings of cauliflower at once again either) he offered to take over some of the chores. So I gave him the dishes and half of the dusting, keeping the rest of the dusting for myself along with the bathroom and laundry. He did a great job on the dishes, but if I didn’t know any better I’d swear the living room was never dusted in the entire 22 months he was laid off! It took me two hours to do it.

Jesse’s back to work again, after all. I noticed his truck was gone when I was out running. I was shocked to see this because of how quiet it’s been. I’m sure the dogs will start going crazy again in a couple of months or so, as they seem to prefer to do most of their barking between November and April, but I am kind of surprised they didn’t go off today because we’re having another cool spell I don’t appreciate at all. For now, it’s nice to hear nothing but the sounds of wind chimes, the train way off in the distance, plus the freeway in the distance that runs from Reno to Sacramento.

Now I’m not sure what I want to do. Sometimes I feel like there are not enough hours in the day. I know I’m sick of cleaning and languages, so it’s a toss-up between work and my story. Hmm… I just can’t decide. Let me flip a coin.

You win, Maliheh. Speaking of her, she’s been coming to my blog every 2-3 hours today! What’s the interest? I wonder for the millionth time. I would love to know what she thinks of the story and what she thinks of me. Does she still hate me? Or is she seeing me in a different light now?

My blog got a hit from Germany, though I doubt it’s Nane even though it was a direct hit or a bookmark. She hasn’t been on LM since yesterday, so unless she copied the link elsewhere when I gave it to her and has now decided to check it out, I doubt it’s her. If she were going to do anything, wouldn’t she reply to my message or re-send the friend invitation on FB before she checked out my blog?

She only ended up doing mine and one other person’s submission yesterday, then that was it. She was gone again. Hey, she was in an hour ago, so I just saw, and did two more, completely ignoring my message. So yeah, I’m 100% sure I’ll never hear from her. How’d she figure me out, though? Was I really that obvious?

Had you asked me last night at 6:30 if I thought something was wrong with my heart I’d have said “definitely,” and I would have even considered going to the hospital had we been insured and me not so exhausted. Even Tom suggested it, saying we have money now. But not that much money, LOL.

If you asked me right this very minute if I think something’s wrong with my heart, the answer would be that I don’t have a clue. I would still think that given my diet and lifestyle, I should be fine, but last night had me more convinced than ever that this just isn’t the case.

To back up a bit for those who don’t know me as well – I quit smoking when I was 31 in 1997. Just like with Maliheh, it came down to do or die, but for me, it was for a different reason and that was asthma. Being hauled to the ER by ambulance with tubes up your nose, breathing masks, and being terrified you’re not going to make it because you just can’t breathe, will certainly help get you off the ciggies! So I used the gum and toughed it out with the first 4 months being the hardest, and my weight shot from 110 pounds to 125 pounds for a while, but I could finally breathe. The wheezing stopped as soon as I quit smoking, but the tightness remained until we left Arizona. Ever since then, with the exception of some congestion here and there, my lungs have been fine.

“The chick with the muscles.” That’s pretty much what I’ve been referred to as for quite a while now. I really got into fitness big time after quitting smoking and have been at it – fairly consistently – ever since. “OMG, look at that lady’s abs!” I overheard a young girl once tell her friend in the supermarket. These girls couldn’t have been a day over 20 yet they were envying the knots in my tummy from all the years of workouts. I have to be careful when shaving my legs because of the lumps of muscles in them.

I have play-wrestled with past male friends that I basically tossed around like rag dolls. I threatened to beat the shit out of the manager at one of the motels we stayed in when we first came to Cali (yes, I know it’s wrong but I can’t help but laugh at remembering this poor guy) who was pissing me off when I was already in a foul mood. He ran. He did not challenge me, he did not call the cops, he just ran!

Yet despite being fit, muscular and scaring the shit out of people twice my size, I woke up last night with two of the top heart failure symptoms – palpitations and feelings of being smothered. This wasn’t the kind of tightness I would get with my asthma. This was different. I’ve had it before, sometimes when I’d be awake, though it’s definitely worse when lying down. It’s like I just can’t suck enough air into my lungs no matter how deep a breath I take. Unlike ever before, though, the palpitations were coming every 10-15 seconds. I was lying on my stomach, my preferred position, when the palpitations and trouble breathing woke me. I had the palpitations when I first crashed, but didn’t think anything of them as annoying as they were. It was a little better on my back, but best on my side. It took an hour for the palpitations to stop and I laid there for hours, dead exhausted before I could finally fall back asleep. I ended up being in bed for 14 hours total!

A while back Tom suggested it could be nerves, but there’s no way in hell that was about nerves! If anything I feel the least anxious since we moved here. No, money isn’t everything, but it sure as hell counts for something. But not even the night of October 11th of 2007, one of the worst days of my life, had me feeling anything like I felt last night.

When I got up my heart was a little racy and beating a little hard, leaving me feeling a bit winded, but ever since then, I have felt just fine. A little sluggish energy-wise, but that can be attributed to PMS. I don’t know what to think anymore. The symptoms vary and aren’t always consistent. I had no chest pain, but I sure felt like a machine that was malfunctioning for a while there. I wasn’t scared or in pain, but I was annoyed and wondering what the hell was going on. Just about everyone experiences palpitations every now and then and they are usually harmless, but this was sheer overkill. I really hope it doesn’t get to where it’s interfering with my sleep and my daily life on a regular basis. If so, then I guess I’m going to have to face the music and get in to see a doctor. On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to live on all kinds of medications and always having to go to the doctor, so I would probably just let myself go if I had anything terminal that was “too much work” to deal with.

But I do worry about Tom and what he may have to deal with. If I died, then that’s it for me, I’m dead. And it doesn’t really matter when I die since there will always be people and things I’ll miss. But if I died now, Tom would be looking at a good 30 years or so alone. I would hope that someone would come along and they could settle down together and carry on with the dream of going home, but if you’re single at his age, you probably always will be no matter how sweet you may be. At that age, you pretty much have to settle for whatever you can get (within reason) be it in person or online, but I don’t think he would ever try to get out and meet people. He’s less sociable than I am, and I’m no social butterfly myself. But this guy doesn’t even have a Facebook account and things like that.

In the end, I think I’ll be just fine, but if not, I’m glad I got to reunite with some old friends and acquaintances and that I found Rosa, Eileen, Maliheh, and was finally able to forgive my sister. While I may always be sorry for my part in what went wrong with Maliheh and I, I understand that the past can’t be changed and that she and I will probably always disagree on some things that happened, but that’s ok. We don’t always have to agree on everything. But for as long as I do live, I will be her friend in cyberspace, and even though it’s not mutual, I’m still glad I found her. And I hope she will finish our story if anything prevents me from doing so.

I sang for a half hour or so to give my lungs a good workout. I’m a trained contralto and some time I’ll record myself singing in both English and Spanish and then try to figure out how to embed it into my blog.

When Tom gets home (I still can’t believe he’s working) I’m going to make my third and final attempt to psych out tickets like I used to. The last one was one step away from a big winner.

Tom found a public domain site run by the State Department’s Foreign Service Institute with several classroom-like language courses. I haven’t delved through much of it yet, but it seems like it may make a wonderful addition or even replacement for LM. Even Tom’s considering trying out the Italian course in case we ever do go to Italy. “We can make a game of it,” I joked, “and pretend we’re learning because we’re spies that are going to be going over there.” So for now I will only be using LM for the Esperanto courses and nothing else.

I would like to stop adding new languages to my brain’s inventory soon so I can perfect the soon-to-be 8 languages that I have studied to varying degrees! It’s loads of fun, and while I may pick up fast, it’s sooo hard, too! But yeah, that’s what I want to do. I want to stop learning languages and get as fluent as I can with the ones I’m already familiar with.

Nane did correct my submission. Mine was the first one she did. But sure enough, the ever-elusive German hottie took off after doing just one more and without responding to my message. In the message, I not only asked if she got the message I sent nearly a week ago asking if she could re-send the friend invite, but I gave her the language link. I don’t see why she couldn’t access it from Germany.

Meanwhile, my next and final message to her will be when I spill the beans on her, as it’s more than obvious that yeah, she’ll correct my submissions, but no, she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Like I said, she must’ve somehow figured out that I like her, though I can’t for the life of me fathom how. And I’m not going to let God tease me with attractive, sane women all over again any more than I’ll put up with the uglies or the crazies. I didn’t realize right away how insane Marie was, though I should have. I spent the bulk of my teenage years living with them.

The internet has been much like old times, cutting in and out, pages slow to load, etc. I was afraid of this too, and that it would slowly worsen again.

My back bottom molar has finally died and is starting to break up after giving me hell for sooo long, I’m happy to say. Hopefully, I’ll be getting the dentures I so badly need soon enough, since all the rest of them hurt and are decaying faster than the speed of light.

Andy sent me an email yesterday saying he’d been busy but was really happy for Tom and me. He’s been losing weight, exercising and doing well. He also told me something in which he asked – no, demanded – I don’t mention online, and so I won’t, LOL. But I can mention it in my offline journal. He sent me a picture of him and Stevie. He looked huge in the picture, but otherwise it’s an awesome pic! I knew he’d eventually meet her. I’ve been luckier in love and other ways than he has, but he sure has been lucky in ways I haven’t been, too. He gets to act out his sexual fantasies and meet his favorite celebs while I don’t even come close. Well, the closest I came was flirting with Teddy Bear in jail and a crazy skitzo named Marie online. Sad, huh? LOL At least I got Gloria to pay for some of the long-distance calls I made in S. Deerfield!

I crashed around 1pm, got up 6 hours later and basically let Tom have it because the bedroom was almost 85º. I propped the bedroom door open for the cooler to blow through, yelled at him some more, then fell back asleep. When I got up, though, I not only realized it was my fault for not leaving the door open but instead of switching the fan up to high I accidentally turned it off.

For those of you who don’t know who the hell this obsessive, stalking psycho is named Molly Rose M, let me fill you in. First off, she and I have never talked, so I don’t know how she “thought I was a cool one to talk to.” The only few words we exchanged were on Formspring before I realized who she was. She was once friends with Alison, one of my best cyber friends. After their friendship ended (it’s not my place to say why) Molly started stalking and harassing Alison’s friends. She follows me to every site I go to and I have to block her on all of those I can possibly block her on. On MyOpera, the block function only keeps her from commenting on entries and sending messages, but not from reading this or leaving messages in the shoutbox. I don’t care if she reads my blog, but if she shoutboxes me again – and I’m sure she will – I’ll disable it. I don’t need to have it around anyway. I didn’t really come here to socialize so much as to share my writing. Then again, maybe I should let her shoutbox away. It only adds evidence to my report about her harassing me and the unwanted contact I’ve been receiving from her. Hopefully, when enough reports have been filed, she’ll be banned. Better yet I hope MyOpera will have their block feature cover more than it does now.

I gotta wonder why some people bother keeping tabs on people they’re supposed to hate like I was questioning in a previous post. I don’t think Maliheh literally hates me. I think she dislikes some of the things I’ve done, and I don’t blame her, but while she may not hate me to the point that she would be glad or even indifferent as to the thought of me dying of some disease or in some accident, isn’t she supposed to at least not like me??? Then again, if I can’t figure out my own self and how I could have a crush on someone I didn’t exactly get along with and haven’t seen for nearly 20 years, how the hell can I expect to figure others out?

But anyone with half a brain can see there’s a huge difference between Molly and Maliheh. Molly’s crazy and always in people’s faces. Maliheh may be a bit of a bitch and a hard-ass (something I admit kind of turns me on as I like a woman with at least a little fire), yet despite knowing so little about her I have always sensed that she is a very intelligent person. She may be a bit on the serious side, and God knows I can’t imagine her doing the shit I used to do – prank calls, egging vehicles, etc. – but she’s sane and she’s not in my face despite being a regular presence. Then again, Maliheh’s sort of special to me, LOL, so she’s welcome to get in my face at least a little bit.

I dreamt about Anne and Harry B, my Italian foster parents. They were very good to me and wanted to adopt me, but despite being a ward of the state at the time, my parents were able to stop this from happening. They were a stark contrast to my next foster mother, a black woman who starved me down to 85 pounds while her huge and crazy girlfriend teased, taunted and threatened to beat me up every chance she got. I was 16 at the time. Tom and Maliheh were already in their mid-20s.

Anyway, I don’t know what became of Anne and Harry, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were dead. I miss them so much! I loved them dearly and would always call them Mom and Dad. Anne would always sign off in letters to me letting me know that my Italian mom and dad loved me.

I had to stop for a minute because I was crying. Still am too, as I don’t know where in the world they could be if they’re still alive. We lost touch in the late 90s when I was still in Phoenix and I have been unable to locate them. How could two people very near and dear to me seem to have dropped off the face of the earth while I have no problem finding Maliheh who has become a regular part of my life??? I mean “regular” in that she follows my blog. Every time I see her on the list (if it really is her) it puts a big wide smile on my face. I will miss her immensely if those who theorize she’ll disappear at the end of the story are correct. cries some more She sometimes comes in on Facebook, sometimes via bookmark.

On to other things now as I don’t want people feeling sorry for me or thinking I’m looking for sympathy. I can get all the sympathy I could ever want or need right here from Tom.

Here’s another classic example of how I struggle with the ordinary things. We have a simple camera yet I just couldn’t take decent pictures of the beanie babies for the lots we’re setting up. I tried and tried and I did everything Tom told me to do, but they just came out blurry. Yet when he took them they were just fine. So I can’t take pictures, but I can learn Esperanto – WTF?!?!

Nane wasn’t on LM at all yesterday. So she went from doing 3 submissions to 1 submission and now none. I checked on Wiki and there are no holidays right now in Germany. Their Labor Day is May 1st. I hope she hasn’t given up on LM altogether. If she has then she won’t get my little confession I planned to send on the 15th, let alone a chance to review my submission or anything else. I wonder if she has kids. I mean younger kids. She sure acts busy enough to have them. But she also mentioned wanting to learn Turkish for leisure travel. Somehow I doubt one does much language learning and leisure traveling with kids, but who knows? I know nothing about her so anything could be the case.

And somehow I doubt that dream meant anything or that I’ll ever hear from her again. :(

I messed up yesterday’s written exercise despite having a good overall score, but one of the Esperanto teachers was kind enough to show me the way. Now maybe I’ll quit making some of the silly mistakes I make.

I made one last-ditch effort to get a response from Maliheh’s main account, but it was a bust, and I’m still no closer to figuring out what’s going on. If she hates me so much or at least dislikes me that she won’t reply to my messages, then why is she bothering to read this blog (if it really is her) and why hasn’t she rejected the friend invite? If I hated or disliked someone, I’m not going to care what they’re writing about, even if it’s sometimes about me. But I guess that’s just me, and truthfully, I don’t even know for sure that she is reading it. And so I guess I will be the only one to let go of the past and move on, but this does not mean I am condemning or critiquing Maliheh’s ways. If she chooses to feel the same way she did decades ago that is totally her right and I certainly don’t hold it against her

What with the 3-day weekend ahead, I don’t expect there to be much work at the job site and so I’ll be immersed in mostly languages and writing for the next few days.

I just hope they don’t decide not to hire Tom on full-time. Yeah, I knew I’d just go on to other worries.

I had a dream I heard from Nane, so we’ll see. She only reviewed one lesson yesterday, so yeah, she might be busy unless she’s just getting sick of LM altogether.

I was viewing my traffic stats when I noticed something new on the side. Hmm… what’s this? I wondered. So I check it out, and wow! I didn’t know I could tell these things. I thought I had to pay for them. But most of my viewers’ operating system of choice is Windows XP. Smart. The top browser of choice – IE. Not smart.

Still nothing from Nane. What a bummer, though it sure beats money worries. In a sense, he’s making exactly what he was making in Oregon since here they don’t steal a dollar an hour from his pay to cover the fucked up insurance plans small businesses had up there. Our expenses here, however, are one and a half times what they were in Oregon.

Back to Nane. She usually reviews a dozen or so submissions a day from what I can tell. Yesterday morning she only reviewed two, then was gone. But when I got up, I saw that she went back and reviewed several more submissions. So yeah, I’d say she put two and two together because if she had time to review lessons, she would have had time to at least re-send the Facebook invite.

While it is disappointing, I also don’t want another Marie D on my hands that has to message me a dozen times a day, even if she wasn’t a paranoid skitzo who was so sure I was pissed at her if I didn’t reply within 5 minutes. Even one email a day would be more than I prefer.

I also get sick of being deprived of these human experiences (lust) that I sometimes crave and always fantasize about, even though I know I would get bored with it in time. Then again, when was I ever allowed any so-called human experiences in life? Just the never getting any women I was attracted to as much as I was Teddy Bear, Nane, Kate and others, plus not being allowed a kid when I wanted one, was enough to tell me that I’d be cut out of some of those normal and oh so worldly experiences. Meanwhile, the closest I’ve got to the real thing besides my imagination is a bitch named Maliheh that checks my blog 4 times a day, but never ever contacts me.

Oh well. Nane may be too sane to be my cybergirl as far as God’s concerned, but I can still share a little secret with her in a couple of weeks or so. And while I can never experience sex with someone I’m drooling over, I can at least have sex with a man I’m only attracted to on the inside and who will only have sex for me and not for us. Wow, aren’t I just so damn lucky?

I sometimes wish Tom and I could at least be more physical. I don’t mean sexually but with things like hugging and back massages. But I also know that he is who he is. I can’t change him and I wouldn’t want to. Expressing my desires to him during our first few years of marriage about wanting more sex and more participation from him did me absolutely no good for the most part, so I just keep my mouth shut. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Later…

It’s after noon in Germany and Nane doesn’t appear to have been on LM today. That swings me back toward the busy theory. I hope that’s it! Maybe sometime next week I’ll submit an exercise to her and see if she corrects it. I want to at least give it throughout the weekend to see if she contacts me over the weekend when she’s more likely to have more free time.

I’m wondering about Andy, though. He not only hasn’t replied to my messages, but he hasn’t been on my blog either.

Later…

I asked Maliheh to please reply to my message where I shared a funny joke I heard and said I hoped Hurricane Earl wouldn’t get her, but once again, I don’t expect shit. I even told her a reply would be nice even if it was to tell me to fuck off, and I would, too.

Nane was in briefly a few hours ago, but she only reviewed one submission. We’ll find out come Monday if she’ll review mine. I think she will, but I don’t think we’ll ever be friends outside of LM.

Later…

I’m finally getting some reviews on my Esperanto speaking submissions. One says to make sure I stress the second to last vowel in words with more than one vowel, and the other says, “Super!” Esperanto is proving to be as easy as German is hard. I’m 57% through 101 with a score of 98%! I still wish I was into learning one language only and not such a language addict because it would be so much easier that way. I have to really work at not sprinkling my Portuguese with Spanish or inserting Italian into my Esperanto.

I should probably watch what I say online in regard to LM because I’m getting a bookmark/direct hit from the Russian Federation where my Esperanto teacher happens to live, and one hit came when he appeared to be online. It’s not their first hit either. I sent a message to him saying that geography fascinates me and crap like that, asking whereabouts he is in the RF and what the weather was like. If he’s in Krasnodar or really close to it, then my guess is probably correct.

Of course I can get some guy from over there which I’m totally indifferent to checking out my blog! Why should the gorgeous lady I wish to hell would check in bother to do so? And why does it bother me that she hasn’t, just because she looks the way she looks? Even if she lived down the street, she and I are never going to get together, so why does it matter to me?

I did send a message to a Nane on Facebook that I thought might be her. After looking at the profile pic later on, though, I said nah, it’s not her. The person was too young and her hair was too light and too straight. On the other hand, some people use pictures of their family and not themselves. A few more days and I’ll submit an exercise and see if she reviews it. She only reviewed 3 of them today, and again I hope she’s just been super busy, though I doubt that’s the only reason she hasn’t contacted me. She did mention having only once a week to study Turkish, though she’s no longer doing it on LM, so IDK.

I think Maliheh may’ve been evacuated after all, because she only checked in once today and that was right after I sent her the Facebook messages. The news reports talk of her town as being one of the ones to be evacuated.

She’s also back to coming in via bookmark, though I don’t know why. I hope it’s not because she’s decided it wouldn’t look good for her to be clicking into my blog through my profile page if she has any hopes of “getting” me.

Later…

Maliheh just hit my blog. :) Maybe she wasn’t evacuated. She came from Facebook, too.

As of yet, Nane hasn’t been on LM at all so far today, driving my hope back up of it being a case of busyness. I still hope so and that we can connect in a regular enough way, but nothing to the degree as to how connected Marie and I were once connected. I do not miss that at all, though I do think of her still and wish her the best. Yeah, there’ll always be a part of me that will love an Italian hottie named Marie D and cherish those 7 memorable months together in cyberspace.

Later…

Nane came in and reviewed one lesson and I couldn’t resist sending another of my own to her to see if she reviews it. I know I was going to wait till Monday, but I ran out of patience. It’s early evening now in Germany, so she may not be on anymore today.

I sometimes wish the planet weren’t so big and that it was as easy to meet cyber friends in person as they are online. How nice it would be to run over to Wales and meet Mitch, then hop on over to Germany and maybe meet my new friend Nane and practice our German/English, then drop down to Italy to meet Marilena, though that one just might happen someday. And of course I’d run to my folks in Florida every so often, and meet Alison and Kim right here in the good ole United States of Screw-Ups.

Tom went to bed and if it ever gets below 80º out there I’ll go out for my run. It might not make it down there before it gets dark, so I’ll just have to deal with it. It’s better than being cold. It got down to 71º in here this morning and it was freezing to me! I don’t know why I’m so damn sensitive to cold yet can take the heat very well. I’m so glad it’s to be close to 100º all week.

Tom’s first day of work went well. He’s in the testing area for now. He said it was kind of weird that they have no security or anything in the building, but Grass Valley isn’t like Rocklin either. He also thought it odd that they don’t have any kind of quality assurance department.

We called my folks and gave them the good news. They were thrilled for us as were Eileen and Mitch. Dad joked at first and asked if he was going to be governor of California, LOL. I told them I started my 7th language and asked Dad to guess what it was after telling him it began with an e. He guessed Egyptian, LOL. He pointed out that good things happen in threes. He got the job, so next, he’ll be hired on and then the Beanie Babies will sell which he said he thinks we were doing wrong. He said we should have listed one for $1.99 + $4.99 shipping instead of 99¢ + $5.99 shipping. Actually, we’re going to try some large lots.

I agree with him, though, that Tom will get hired on. Where most people either hate or love me, everybody likes Tom, LOL.

Tom also called Jesse to let him know we’ll pay the rent in full on Saturday and about the job.

I will be in training tonight and will try to get some work done on the book as well. I was just buzzing with so much excitement last night that I was too keyed up to do much writing. Seriously, I was like a little kid on Chanukah! Some people have been asking me about my work, but sorry, I’m not allowed to discuss it.

I am really stupid at times! Nane said she tried to add me on Facebook, but that I didn’t accept friends. I had totally forgotten about turning that off – duh! Spambots were after me, so I turned it off. I let her know I turned it back on, but haven’t heard from her yet. I’d say this pretty much wipes out any lingering thoughts of deactivating my account, though. :)

It hit me that my disabling the friend invite thing may’ve prevented Maliheh from accepting my invite. If that’s the case, well, it’s off now.

She oughta get a kick out of how I accidentally capitalized the word boy on one of my Esperanto lessons, as I told Nane. Since she caps all the nouns in her language, and since I’ve had that on my mind so much, I accidentally went noun-capping in the wrong language, LOL. I’ve put the German on hold for now until I study more of the grammar aspect of it.

Why is it that I set up my microphone specifically for German and Esperanto speaking exercises just to have no one review them? Instead, all anyone’s done is tell me my Italian sounds great, LOL.

My logic still doesn’t think so, but my dreams keep suggesting we may be moving to another rental, in which case I told Tom to be prepared as it’s getting to be too many dreams at this point. I had a two-in-one last night. We’d just moved to some old dumpy rental which didn’t exactly seem very remote. I went to tell Tom something from another room and he told me he was on the phone. Before he hung up, I heard him say, “Sure. A thousand dollars will do it.”

I will finish the dream after my run. It’s not cooling down, but the sun is setting and I’d rather not wait for the skunks and other nocturnal goodies that rule these woods to come out and join me, even if these woods are a lot safer than the ones in Oregon.

catches breath Ok, I got my run out of the way. It’s gorgeous out now. I checked the weather back up in Oregon and was reminded of just how much colder they are than New England. Them poor Klammers nearly froze last night, LOL.

And now on with the dream. After he hung up the phone and told me we had a grand on the way, I asked what for, and he said the company he works for wants us to move closer to them and would be willing to pay us to do so.

In reality, Tom laughed at that one, saying that’s not how it usually works, but as I reminded him, it’s not so much the details of the dream that matters as the overall message. And the more repetitious the dreams, the more likely they are to be telling me something. If Jesse were to lose this place, as much as I doubt it, then we’d have no choice but to move. For now, we’re preparing for the possibility and are going to start saving as fast as we can. I would feel much more secure with a month of rent saved, plus enough for a backup vehicle should this one crap out in a way we couldn’t afford to fix. If we had engine failure right now, we’d be positively screwed.

Later…

Maliheh’s back to visiting me through Facebook instead of through a bookmark, and I still have yet to hear from Nane. Starting to think I’m not going to either. Let me guess – she’s not crazy enough, right? And God had those spam botters bug me so I would turn off the friend invite, forget about it, and lose any chance of being buddies with her, right?

Hmm… should I just move on and forget her? Or should I spill the beans and let her know I’m attracted to her if I don’t hear from her for a couple more weeks, knowing I’d have nothing to lose anyway? I admit I do like surprising people at times, so just maybe I will. I’m curious as to what her reaction might be, though I doubt I’ll get any at all. Ok, Nane, you’ll hear from me one last time in a couple of weeks, LOL.

I realize that she could just be a very busy person, but IDK. Marie was pretty busy a lot of the time too, yet she sure found time to keep in touch.

And of course I still wonder if Maliheh will ever accept the friend invite or contact me, though I’d say it’s safe to assume she won’t. She may be a mean bitch, but she’s not crazy.

Those in Istanbul-Shit, Ghana-rea and India really seem to like me, LOL, based on all the friend requests I’ve been getting from there lately. I might look for a way to turn off the photo comments, though, as I get tired of the same old, same old. I don’t mean to seem rude or unappreciative, but yes, I know the desert is hot, I know I was cute at 4 years old, and I know I usually have insanely long hair!

Nane only corrected my written submission and not my spoken one. In other words, I probably sounded so horrible she didn’t know what to say about it, LOL. I just can’t seem to get some of the tenses straight (rot, rote, roten, ein, eine) and so I sent her a message asking if there was some tip she could give me that would simplify things for me.

I was going to remove any reference to my finding her attractive in case she makes it over to my blog (the link is on my profile page) and doesn’t like the idea of it, but what’s she gonna do – fly over here and shoot me for it?

No one’s reviewed my Esperanto yet, but my Italian-speaking reviews were very good. I’m currently 38% through Esperanto 101 with a score of 99%, and 95% through German 101 but with a score of just 82%. My last lesson was a killer! The speaking part was easier, though. Still, how is it that I’ve made Student of the Week in German every week since enrolling in the course a couple of months ago? Esperanto I can see kicking ass in because it’s so easy. But German is not.

Tom got another scratch ticket and I did my thing and concentrated really hard on “zapping” it with happy, positive winning energy. This one was a crossword ticket. I ended up one letter short of a HUGE winner! How frustrating yet encouraging!

Tom said that maybe he actually has to be working before I’m in a good enough frame of mind to “rig” tickets. Yeah, let’s just hope he will be real soon too, when he calls the office tomorrow.

A few days before he went on the interview I had a dream where I told him that a major change was on the way. I wonder if that was a job premonition I didn’t see at the time. I wrote the dream off as meaningless. I’ve occasionally had dream premonitions without knowing right away that they were actual premonitions.

Mitch finished his book The Changeling! Next, he’s going to go over my last book and read the start of my current book to give me an idea of what he thinks so far.

Other than me and two of my cyberbuds being stalked and annoyed by a crazy woman in Texas, all is fine. I went out running, and soon I shall be transporting myself to the whacky world of Maliheh and Joni. Speaking of Maliheh she didn’t show up in Dreamland last night. Amazing, huh? I kind of missed her, even if it means being chased by her at times, because I know I can always wake up if she catches me. :) Then again, I don’t always mind being captured, depending on whoever’s doing the capturing. :)

She was looking for me on MyOpera this evening and into the evening, but all she got to see were my fake comments, along with a few from Alison and Kim. She’s jumping in from Facebook again too, now that I mentioned I would stick around there for those that have no other means of getting ahold of me if they want to. I also like to post blogs and language lesson scores there.

Paula sent a message that was both sweet and funny despite how unbelievably poorly written it was, LOL. “You’re my best friend, I love you, I miss you, I’m dating a sexy guy, I’m moving to a 1-bedroom, here’s my new number, call me.”

Something like that anyway. She changes numbers faster than I change undies, but as I told her, I’ll call her when I get a chance. Probably next week.

Okay, time to head to class and then Never Never Land!

Later…

My latest exchange with Nane has got me thinking about this influencing thing again, alright. :) I told Nane that the grammar had me so confused that I was ready to beat my head in the wall despite having a knack for languages, and she said don’t do that, LOL! LM isn’t the way to go in her opinion because it doesn’t teach any grammar, and I so totally agree. I’ve always been an anti-full immersion method.

Nane was not only kind enough to give me half a dozen or so links to sites that may help with the grammar part of the German but accepted my email addy after I told her I was a “liberal” person who liked learning about different languages and cultures (at least that was half-true). She replied saying, “Ok, ratgirl. :) it will be a chance to brush up on my English as well. :). :)

This put a grin on my face. Yes, Nane, I’ll be happy to brush your English up for you anytime. Anytime! One does tend to learn faster when they’ve got a crush on their teacher, and so I’m sure my German will start advancing rather quickly.

I sent her picture to Mitch. He agrees she looks fortyish and that she’s a hottie.

Anyway, the links provide a whole lot of helpful info, and so as not to seem pushy, and because I’m getting tired anyway, I’ll wait a day or so after I go through them some more and then message her on LM if she doesn’t beat me to an email first.

Then again, would I really have much influence on her if I was single and she lived nearby? Hmm… I don’t know about that one.

Later…

“No, no, no, don’t wake up!” I started to tell myself this afternoon as I slowly started coming awake. “If you do, you may find that this morning was just a dream. Play it safe. Stay asleep.” But that wasn’t possible, of course, and I quickly realized that no, that morning was no dream. I smiled widely as I replayed it through my mind, stretched and yawned. Then I remembered Nane and her links and I smiled even wider as I got up out of bed.

It was just before 9am this morning. He came in from being outside on the cell phone. Then he told me about it and I walked into the bedroom intending to do something on the computer but instead of doing that I collapsed in a heap of relief and tears on the bed and cried steadily for a good 10 minutes or so knowing that 22 long, miserable, stressful, depressing – and sometimes scary – months have finally come screeching to a halt! It’s over. Just like that, it’s over.

The sense of relief that comes with stepping out of the gloom we were in for so long and into the light to return to the land of the living is both amazing and wonderful. I have been crying tears of joy on and off and zipping up and down the place grinning like a mad idiot. We have survived the storm! I’m so ecstatic that if I were a drinker I’d be getting totally smashed right now! Wish I had tons of scratch tickets now. I know I’d win most of them for sure with the way I’m flying! I have been laughing and crying, laughing and crying, back and forth and back and forth, and right now the screen is blurring up on me. But it’s so nice to cry tears of joy and relief instead of stress and depression!

Now that it’s official I can give some details. He’ll be working days. The pay is much more than we expected at $12/hr.! We thought he’d get $8 - $10, and anything would have been fine, but to get what we’ll be getting which is plenty adequate for us, is awesome! Our rent is low for California and we don’t pay for water or electricity.

The only negs are that it’s a half-hour drive and is just a temp job. I think he’ll impress them enough with his smarts and capabilities to get hired on, though, which should be in 3-6 months at which time we’ll be insured, believe it or not. I need these teeth ripped out and dentures put in sooo badly! The enamel is just so soft and is really going to hell. It’s a hereditary thing that pretty much happens to everyone in the family.

Even though I have total confidence in him, I’ve been teasing him about the stress now being on him. I told him that after 22 months of it being on me, he could have it, LOL! He knew things would be rough while we were basically what amounted to forced welfare bums, but I really thought we weren’t going to make it at times. You know I’m a pessimist.

It’s going to be nice having the place to myself more often, too. Like I said, no matter how well you may get along with someone – and Tom and I never fight – it’s still nice to get some alone time beyond when he’s asleep or just out running errands.

He’ll be getting up at 4am (same time as Jesse if Jesse ever gets back to work himself). Speaking of Jesse, I wonder if he’s been out of town. The dogs went off all night long last night, and Tom never heard the motorcycle today. His truck is up there, though, and someone must be there now because it’s quiet. Anyway, he’ll leave around 5:00, then start work an hour later, then leave at 2:30.

He went to the temp company’s office yesterday to fill out all the paperwork and to have his pay transferred to the card.

From now on I’ve got to start writing down all my dreams, no matter how silly, strange or trivial they may seem. A couple of days ago I dreamt we had just moved to what seemed to be another rental. While the rental seemed bigger and more modern, I hated the snow. There was a dusting of snow all around us, and my dream self was bummed at the thought of having to deal with that regularly, yet it was obvious it was for a good cause and that other things were going well. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. Well, we’re 1000’ in elevation while it turns out that the place he’s going to actually be working at is 2500’ in elevation. Weird, really weird.

So does this mean we’ll move? I don’t think so, even though Tom said there were tons of remote places along the way. I don’t want to go back to that shit. The one or two days a year we get a dusting down here at the Sierra Nevada foothills is more than enough for someone who can’t stand snow, and so unless we found a hell of a deal, I don’t see the point in bothering when we’re just going to buy a place in a couple of years. I don’t know where our forever home will be, but we’re going. Oh, yes we are! stops to wipe happy tears Meanwhile, even though the dogs drive me crazy at times, why move to a place that would only be just as noisy or worse? And while bigger, newer and nicer is always great, we don’t want to spend that much extra money between now and buying the house. Except for occasional perfumes which I’m addicted to, I don’t want to spend much money on things we don’t need until we get home. But this is it! Sure looks that way anyway. We have found the yellow brick road. All we have to do now is just follow it. For now, though, it’s nice to know that moving is much more of an option for us if we ever do decide to move.

Laughing, I asked him if he thought he’d slip and fall on the ice up there in the winter like he used to do in Oregon. I never fell once. Not with my balance. Remember, I was a dancer and I also skated a lot as a kid.

I thank God for finally answering my prayers, even though I don’t know why it took Him nearly two years to do it. Guess there really is a time and a place for everything.

I told Andy, Mitch and Eileen the good news in an email, and once we find out even more, I’ll call Mom and Dad. He doesn’t know exactly what his job will entail just yet.

I’m still buzzing with so much excitement that I might not be able to concentrate on my story tonight (sorry boss!) but I have my work cut out for me thanks to Nane. :) So I better get to it soon!

Ah, to be able to wake up without that damn dark cloud hanging over us and without that phone never ringing. Woo-hoo!!! Every day I’d wake up and the first question on my mind would be whether or not we were going to survive. Our unemployment was set to expire soon, and the pressure to beat the clock was getting really nerve-wracking. I’d try to enjoy the moment, then it’d hit me that we were on our last extension and time was fast running out.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

I’d try to concentrate on my story or other things and try to live for the moment, then, you’re on the last tier.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Trying to study languages, then, less than 60 days to go.

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Cleaning the house, then, will it really be as easy as you’ve heard to die by carbon monoxide poisoning?

Tic-toc, tic-toc…

Time’s up…

WE WIN!!!