I’m having conflicting Teddy Bear thoughts. First Tom and I were arguing over freeloader-related shit, which seems to be what the bulk of our arguments pertain to. First it was sex and babies and now it’s the freeloaders.

Anyway, I still worry that a relationship with Teddy Bear may cause friction within my relationship with Tom. Not necessarily cuz of anything she may do, but cuz of him. He tells me I’m in love with someone else now and that I’m “unapproachable” as far as either hugs or sex goes. Well, yes I love Teddy Bear, but that doesn’t detract from my love for him, and how have I been unapproachable? As I told him, I’m available to him, I always have been, I always will be, so if I’m unapproachable, it’s only cuz he doesn’t want to approach me.

As far as my mixed emotions about Teddy Bear are concerned - well - of course it’d be easier not to bother with her and take any chances of her fucking me over in any way, but could I really live with myself and be ok with it if I dumped her? No, I couldn’t. I made a deal with her. I said I was going to breed mice for her, and we agreed to get together. Therefore, I think I should at least keep my end of the bargain and let her be the one to pull out if she wants to. Also, I really do miss her and want to see her.