Because I slept so long yesterday, I only slept 5 hours last night.

I did one of my walks already and managed to get half a mile in just over 8 minutes.

Again we saw a worker walk onto the land in front of us. They appeared to be searching for property markers. I still get the feeling that whoever bought the lot across from next door has bought the one in front of us too, but it doesn’t really matter anymore since we’ll be gone soon enough. Another reason I think this is because of what I don’t see. I don’t “see” anything outside. No changes of any kind or additions like more plants, fences, porches, etc.

Got two things in the mail I’d forgotten all about or assumed I wasn’t going to get. First was the Black Sandalwood incense sample I requested right before I decided to make my first order. I was surprised to get 3 sticks, too! It actually wasn’t half bad. I didn’t think I’d like it because I didn’t like their plain sandalwood or Walmart sandalwood, but it was ok. Not good enough to buy, but not bad enough to sic on Paula and toss in her box.

Meanwhile, my giant order was actually shipped on the 31st, so it’ll be here on the 5th as I originally guessed. It could come tomorrow, but I hope not as that’d be quite frustrating since you can’t pick up packages on Saturdays.

The other thing I got was the Cosmetique intro pack which is all going to Paula except for the Love Story perfume which is quite nice. Other than that, the eyeshadow was too dark, the nail polish too dull, the mascara was cheap shit, and the lipstick was like peanut butter.

I’m really glad I got that Dove shampoo sample. It’s just as good as Physique but at a fraction of the cost.

Later…

I was walking while Tom had the TV on. The man has the shittiest taste in shows! He was watching this series with macho men building motorcycles. Macho cocks like that only fuel my fury and make my blood boil. Unlike most people who find them intimidating, they only make me feel all the more challenged and determined to hold my ground and take them down a peg or two. Or at least try my damndest to do so. I’ve warned Deanna and Nancy-type characters about that, letting them know that sooner or later they’re going to egg on and challenge the wrong person that’s going to really give them the ultimate surprise of their lives, but they don’t get it. These people think they’re invincible till they actually are beaten down.

Anyway, although I’m not as stressed out over the unknown as I was earlier, I still wish we could just hurry up and get on with whatever’s destined for us, so to speak. If we’re as meant to move as I think we are, it’s like, let’s just get it over with already! But there’s a time and a place for everything. I truly believe that. It makes sense, for example, for Mary and I to have met when we did, seeing that we were meant to be friends. It would’ve been really hard for me to be friends with her had we met a decade or so ago. Not that I’d personally blame her, of course, but with her pregnant at just 15 years of age, being around her would’ve only made me feel even more singled out and cursed by God. I’d have been like, hey this isn’t fair! Why is it that a teenager with a shitty life and an abusive guy - which she fully admits was the case back then - gets to have a kid while me and my husband, who are stable, if not as close to it as we can get, are denied that right? Again, though, I would never have blamed her for her own destiny which God planned out for her just like he does with us all. It was never her fault she grew up with abusive people setting poor examples for her, telling her things like abortion is wrong when in fact it’s not or else God would never have allowed us to figure out how to do such a procedure (besides, it’s her life/body), and telling her things are right that aren’t right. It’s like the poor girl was brainwashed! I would’ve felt just as bad for her then as I do now. I try to encourage her to have a mind of her own, so to speak, and not let others tell her what’s right or wrong, because what’s right for one person may not be right for someone else. You just can’t put everybody in one big group. I’m sure she knows this, though. She’s as big on individuality as I am and avoiding those we dislike rather than trying to change them.

Speaking of destiny, I know damn well I’m never going to get more than a few pounds off (especially if genetics are as much a part of it as they say it is), so I’ve cut my walk to a half-hour a day, plus my toning exercises. I’m not going to put myself out like crazy over 3 lousy pounds which is all I can lose.

I’m still inhaler-free, but I do have waves of tightness and probably always will. I don’t know, I guess God never felt I was worthy of a decent pair of lungs.