Age 38

Being that it was my favorite holiday of the year, I only wrote one paragraph in my current story tonight. I watched the ball go down in Times Square as usual. How I wished I could be there just for the countdown, then be right back here a minute or two after the New Year, since I hate crowds. Anyway, I do love New Year’s Eve. I guess because it’s just so informal and it’s non-religious. Plus, as I said before, it was the only time I was “free” as a kid and got to stay up really late. Also, the start of a new year, especially when the previous one was rather shitty, was a time for hope, even if it was usually false.

Just when I was amazed at how quiet it was with no music or gunshots, I heard music for a couple of minutes right after midnight, but of course, to me, the real New Year begins at Eastern time.

It’s hard to believe I’ve been friends with Paula for nearly 20 years, even if we lost touch a couple of times over the years, and even if she’s not exactly what I’d describe as a true friend, in a sense. With all my other long-term “friends,” either I dumped them or they dumped me. It’s life, I guess.

I don’t have any significant vibes for ’04 other than that it’s to be a year of change. This is more of an obvious, common sense thing, though, then a psychic thing. We do, after all, plan to move so we can stop struggling. I’m going to miss this big beautiful modern house, though!

I packed more of my dolls away. I only have 7 that aren’t packed yet. All that’s out is Joy, Jade, Bailey, Colette, Patrice, Ciara and Chris, who’ll get thrown in the moving bin loose because she’s so big and she’s vinyl. Of course, soon Haiku will join the crew! I’m going to be smart enough to save her box too, so I can put her back in it when we move. I’ll miss the ones that are packed till whenever we do move, which I’m almost positive will be this year, but I’ll just appreciate them all the more after not seeing them for a while. I’m also going to appreciate how much easier dusting is till we do move, too!

It’s in the low 50s now. The cloud coverage is keeping it from getting too cold.

Tom went to Walgreens' site and found an appetite suppressant that might be suitable for me for $20. There are 90 pills and you take 2 before each meal. I hope it works as well as Trimlife. Trimlife has not only suppressed my appetite, but it did a good job of conditioning me so that I could skip days and still not be hungry all the time.

Tom said a report he read says it’s all genetics. I think genetics is part of it, but the bulk of it is age. Why else would 80% of those under 30 be thin while 80% of those over it aren’t? I think it’s 60% age, 20% diet/exercise and 20% genetics.

Tom likes my medical romance story so far. I didn’t think he would. Like I said, I just couldn’t seem to go anywhere with it.

My next story’s going to be really weird. It’s the one where I’ll take Tom’s advice and blow real-life events I’ve experienced out of proportion or into pure BS. I can’t include Tom in it, though, as he’s “too real.” I’m talking about things like the pictures I communicated with for really coming to life, the rats being even smarter than they actually are, Teddy Bear and I getting it on and not just liking each other and thinking about it.

Later…

What on earth possessed me to need 13 hours of sleep is beyond me, but it was fun nonetheless, as one of the many dreams I had brought me a new story idea. In the dream, I was single and in a college dorm. The “dorm” was just a regular house with something like 5 other girls in it. Well, Kate was one of them, but Kate wasn’t Kate. Meaning, she was just a regular person and not a famous actress. I don’t know what she and I were studying, but it gave me the idea of having us be in a dorm where we get to like each other, and maybe throw in a few murders here and there for added excitement that we solve, too.

I’m back to where I started at 130 pounds. At least I’m not in the 140s like I feared I’d be by now. I guess that’s because I did watch what I ate at least some of the time over the last couple of weeks, I did exercise like every other day and I’m regular as well. Regularity will help tremendously with the diet. If I don’t get under 127 with this diet and exercise regimen, then it is a medical problem or a curse.

Trying to rig yesterday’s two non-scratch tickets was a bust so I think I’ll just stick to the scratchers. I know I’ll eventually win us a large sum of money. Perhaps not millions, but probably thousands. As Tom said, though, it happens whenever it happens. It’s ok if it takes me a decade. Good things are worth waiting for. Meanwhile, I also want to keep concentrating on non-money and non-material things as well like keeping off the inhalers and maybe stopping my periods. My period’s due tomorrow and I’m rarely late. Sometimes I’m early, but I’m almost never late and if I am, it’s only by a day or two.

Later…

I was just playing with Brownie. I really like this rat a lot and am glad that if one of the newcomers had to go it wasn’t him. He’s both dry and mellow. Meanwhile, I’m handling Little Fella less and less as I’m sick of the constant pissing. Every time I go to pick him up he’s wet and it just gets old.

I’m thinking up more and more ideas for the dream-inspired story. Instead of it being known from the get-go who the bad guy is, perhaps I’ll make this one more of a whodunit story. I just wish I could get paid for my work! That’s okay, though. I’ll just have to win us thousands of dollars. Besides, writing is fun no matter what.

Later…

I decided to cut my walk to 3 15-minute walks, rather than do an hour’s worth of walking. The other 15 minutes are going to be spent using the exercise ball and dumbbells, so it’ll come to a total of one hour anyway.

I also decided to stop backing stuff up on floppies since I have two hard drives. I condensed my files a bit, too.