Today’s the day I finally saw in clear detail what was to come. So unless my visions are all wrong, we’re moving in April, but probably won’t get settled in till June which means we’ll probably have to rent someplace in Casa Grande just like we did in Scottsdale when we left Phoenix. We are moving to the other side of Casa Grande where the land is cheaper and there are fewer people because it’s even further away from Phoenix. We’ll have 10 or more acres and sell this house at $135,000. Tom will get a job in Casa Grande between now and February 10th (probably closer to late January), but I don’t know what it’ll be. I also don’t know how long we’ll be holed up in the single-wide shitbox we’re going to get, but that’s what we’ll have initially and we will generate our own electricity as Tom said we would. So we’ll be in a place like Dan’s old place. The shitbox or the land will cost $8,000, but I don’t know which one. I just see $8,000 somewhere and can only guess it’s connected to one of those two things.

Either way, right or wrong, I just wonder – is what’s going on and what’s coming in the future some kind of punishment, or are we being led to bigger and better things? I’m still angry that God allowed Tom to be fucked over at the bank and that we’re being forced out of this house and stripped of our free will to go when we choose to go, but I also know we’re both ready to go and give up the huge house payments as much as I’ll miss this house so much till we build our dream house! I was also never really impressed with this land and don’t like the way it’s building up. Speaking of that, I still wonder if God’s having us forced out now to prevent us from raking in the dough in 5-10 years. If that’s the case, then it may seem logical enough to assume we’ll never have money. Not serious money anyway. God can prevent people from making donations to our site and he can stop them from buying any incense I may make, but he can’t stop us from trying! So I kind of have this love/hate relationship with God. I hate it when he has people turn our lives upside down like he has, but I love the fact that he blessed me with the ability to see ahead in times of doubt and apprehension. The unknown can be rather stressful, but now that I have a sense of what’s coming, it makes it easier even if I always knew we’d survive somehow.

Tom checked online to see what it’d cost to send Paula the package I put together for her and was shocked to learn it’d be $27! I said no way and then I decided to take Tom’s suggestion and break it up into smaller packages that’d be a few bucks each. There’ll be 4, one with the CDs and the others with the incense. That way we’ll keep the packages around a pound or two. After this, I’ve got to stop being so giving and worry more about us. I can’t keep losing and putting myself out to those who won’t give me shit in return and I don’t give a damn how selfish others perceive me to be. All I asked her for was a measly $10 and I can’t even get that. Even without her accident money, the bitch gets $1250 a month and has C8, but no, she’d rather spend it on her abusive cock! Anyway, she won’t be hearing from me as much anymore. You give, you get taken advantage of. That’s all I know. I never should’ve told her we can burn our own CDs, but that’s okay because I know how to say no, so if she ever asks for more, the answer’s no unless she wants to pay for them. She’s gotten enough freebies at my expense.

It’s been warmer lately. Yesterday the heat didn’t come on till 6:30 AM.

I now have just 585 Memolink points. I hope they send the certificate!

Webshots had this really cool picture of Mars this thing called the Spirit Rover took that just landed on it the other day. The picture of vast expanses of rocky dirt looks like it could be a place on Earth.