So I get up today, depressed and in pain – not so much pain since they started me on the antibiotics – but still in pain nonetheless, and this is what’s waiting for me from Nane, who just returned from vacation, on Facebook (must be rich to afford so many vacations and for so long and with a job she started less than a year ago).

So Nane told me she was sorry I was in pain but didn’t want to hear about my fantasies. This was regarding a rather wet dream I had of her recently. I’ve shared these kinds of dreams and fantasies before with her and it never seemed to bother her. So I guess I need not say that it really put me in a WTF? state of mind.

She’s not into women? Says the woman who admits she not only had a one-nighter with a woman and liked it, but who also flirted with me, called me attractive, and said she’d do what she did to me in a dream I had a while back if I weren’t so far away. This was the night she got drunk by downing a whole bottle of champagne and started flirting with me on her wall. She later deleted it and said it should be kept private and I agreed. Ever since then, I’ve been careful of what I said in public on Facebook where others she knows could see it. She may prefer men over women, but why do things like call me Lady Jodi when she knows it turns me on if she’s supposedly not into women???

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to bash anyone here, particularly Nane. I still like her even though I expect to get dumped for speaking my mind. But this is my journal after all and journals are for expressing one’s thoughts, feelings, opinions, beliefs, dreams, goals, fears, anxieties, experiences, etc. So even though I don’t hate her and I know that she has a right to her feelings, I’m not going to not say what I feel either.

I will certainly respect her wishes and keep all fantasies, dreams and dirty thoughts to myself as the last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable or offend her in any way, but as I told her directly (so what I’m saying is no secret) I still feel confused and led on by her message and even a touch hurt and angry. My being depressed and knowing that my life is basically over no matter where I live or what I do, on top of having toothaches to deal with, only compounds these emotions and makes me feel kind of shitty. I mean, it’s not like it’s an all-out crisis or the end of the world. She simply told me how she felt and she has a right to do that and to feel however she feels. It’s just the non-mutuality that sort of sucks, but hey, what else is new?

I guess it’s safe to say now’s a good time to slip her the links to the story she’s in, LOL.