I ordered our groceries online this morning, and Tom’s going to pick them up on the way home from work. How nice it will be for him to be able to just run in, pay, grab the bags and go, instead of having to pull things off the shelf after what will probably be a 10-hour shift. Poor guy’s gotta work tomorrow too, not surprisingly, and as always, he has mixed emotions about it. He’d love to have the whole weekend off, but he loves the money, too.

He has worked so hard and I have done so much around the house besides hoping my eyes don’t turn into any big deal, that in between the 3 trips to the eye doctor during the 27th, we’re going to treat ourselves to some fun. This will include plenty of eating and shopping, and if I want a $200 dress or he wants a $300 gadget of some kind – fine. So be it. We deserve it! Knowing us, though, we probably won’t even spend $100 that day.

I misunderstood Tammy. The next step is to actually try some treatments on her lungs. It’ll only be if that fails that she’ll have the lung transplant, so hopefully the treatments will work! How strange that would be to be put out and then wake up breathing through someone else’s lungs. Just wish she’d quit her damn smoking! If I could quit so can she.

Been brushing my teeth with baking soda to see if it whitens them as I heard it does, but it irritates my gums if I do it too often, so I’ll do it every few days or so and see what happens.

Rihanna’s back with her abusive BF, so I’ve heard, and 3 young sisters ranging from 9 to 11 were raped and murdered in India. Again I am left to wonder two things – what makes some women crave abuse, and what makes people think that God is good? I try to let people have their own way of thinking, but sometimes I can’t help but wonder about people. Unless there is another entity separate from God that’s just plain evil and that is more powerful than God, God is not good. Yet a frightening amount of people still seem to think He is. I just don’t get that and how any being with a supposed limitless amount of power that doesn’t step in and intervene when it comes to such atrocities can be considered good. I guess that is for them to know and for me not to understand. For me, the final straw with God came in 2000. I promised myself I would never forgive Him and I don’t think I could even if I wanted to, but no, I definitely don’t want to. At this point in my life, while hearing of these tragedies may only fuel my hate for Him, rather than hate Him or not hate Him, I’d rather just not think of Him as much as possible and I would prefer it if He would ignore me as well. I always advised people to just not have anything to do with those they don’t like. Well, if God doesn’t like me, and I don’t like Him, why shouldn’t we do the same thing?

As for Rihanna, women like that really make me sick. It’s sad that some of them enjoy pain and abuse so much that they would actually go back to someone who beat the shit out of them when they have all the money, support and resources in the world to avoid sickos like Chris. There’s got a be a million guys that are hot for her, so why him??? I’m not a celebrity follower, so I don’t know much about her personality or what’s caused this obvious illness/addiction of hers. Just that she’s attractive and has a great voice. But if I were her I’d seek counseling to try to find out why I thought I didn’t deserve better than Chris and why I thought I deserved and even enjoyed getting my ass beat. I just don’t get it. Is it the thrill of being in danger that turns this chick on? Does she actually like pain? Is it just loads of fun to be kicked and slapped around? Does it, in her mind, give her a reason to feel sorry for herself? Is that what she gets off on; feeling sorry for herself and getting sympathy from others? Well, the next time Chris beats her ass – and I don’t see why he wouldn’t since guys like that don’t usually change and she’s already shown that she won’t fight back and will stick around and take it – I won’t feel sorry for her. She’s not responsible for other people’s actions, of course, but when you stick your hand into the tiger’s den, what do you expect? Then again, when he does go to jail for his next assault, it’ll only be for 5 minutes cuz he’s rich, famous, black and male.

What I’d really love to see is for Chris to hit the wrong woman, but that’s the problem with these cocks. Like a vicious dog senses and preys on fear, they usually try to avoid women who will fight back. If they didn’t, the violence against men stats would go up dramatically.

Woe to the cock that ever even thinks of raising a hand to me. I’m faster and stronger than most people, but if I can’t beat your ass black, blue and bloodied with my bare hands, you bet I’ll be coming back for you with mace or a stun gun to render you helpless just long enough to make you regret the day you were born. :)

Later…

So I get this message from No One (noone) scolding me for how I handled Nancy. Read the entry titled “Ha Ha, Nancy” to understand who I’m talking about.

Haven’t I seen that email before? Hmm… I think they may’ve scolded me before, but either way, No One (Aimee in FL? Lauren in NY?) says this:

“Do you ever think that you bring on your own bad fate with your actions? You bitch all the time about how things aren’t going the way you think they should, and then you divulge that you exacted “revenge” on someone you knew 12 years ago? For what gain, exactly? To make yourself feel better? How selfish. You reap what you sow. If you put shit into the world, guess what you’re going to get back?”

All the time? So this is someone who follows me regularly? And why do so many people automatically assume that if something bad happens to us we must’ve brought it on ourselves? Sometimes bad things really do happen to good people. Things they didn’t ask for. Why is that so hard to accept?

And how am I “selfish” for giving someone something they would want to read anyway? I wrote and published these things long before I knew I’d ever find Nancy online and slipped her the link to the entries where I mention her, but I don’t see how doing this is getting “revenge.” Okay, so maybe I’m a bit of a mischievous devil, and maybe it was a bit childish, but how is it actually hurting her? And how can it make me feel better? It’s kind of funny, but it doesn’t make me feel either better or worse.

Maybe No One just needs to spend a little time in a jail cell along with a crazy bitch like Nancy to have a better understanding. Until then she can insult me all she wants, although I know that not everyone means to be insulting and that they’re just expressing their opinion. Well, I’m expressing mine, too. :)

As for things not going the way I think they should, actually most of them have for quite a while now. My life may not be perfect any more than anyone else’s, but I’d say it’s been pretty damn good lately.

I also wonder why I get chided for enacting revenge that really isn’t revenge. Okay, so maybe it might piss Nancy off or maybe she’ll be like yeah, yeah, whatever, but how come so many others can pull shit way worse than I usually pull and everybody’s quick to laugh and applaud THEM? Just wondering why the double standards.

If it makes you feel better, No One, Nancy may never even see the links. As most people know, Facebook has a million and one bugs they never want to fix.

BTW, if we reap what we sow, well, Nancy sowed me.