Tomorrow’s my eye appointment. Here’s to hoping the pressure is down! The reason for doing 3 pressure tests throughout the day is to see how much it fluctuates. Glaucoma is more likely the more it fluctuates, so hopefully there won’t be any big swings, and hopefully he won’t recommend eye drops. If he thinks I need them, then he thinks I’m at risk. The more risk he thinks there is, the more he’ll want to take preventative measures.

I was whining to Tom about how long the move is taking, then we were both laughing when he reminded me that part of that is due to our plans that keep changing along the way. All we wanted to do was have at least 3K saved by his birthday last June – and we did – so we could rent a place. But then we found that owning a manufactured home would be much cheaper than renting a house. So, since we were sick of dealing with management companies, landlords, etc., we decided to go for that which meant holding out longer to save more money. Now we have enough saved for something decent, but not the greatest credit. So now we have to clean that up and hope nothing else comes up to delay us.

I knew God wouldn’t make it easy for us and that He would be against what we’re doing. My pain has always been his pleasure, and while I’m certainly not in any “pain” right now and life is otherwise great, I knew He wouldn’t have seen to it that we lost two places if He wanted us owning. Well, we may not always have as much free will as we’d like, and sometimes we get caught up in circumstances beyond our control that take some time to escape, but we WILL one day own again. That much is going to be up to US. I don’t know if it’ll be in our favorite park, but we’re not going to settle either.

Nane once said that if I had any doubts, don’t do it. This was sound advice too, cuz if you have any doubts it’s usually for a reason, and moving into a place full of doubt instead of excitement is never a good thing. My gut instinct has rarely let me down, so I’m going to trust whatever it tells me.

If we can’t get a hold of the realtor to show us the new Skyline tomorrow in the park that’s here in town, we’ll at least drive by it. Finding out who owns that strip of grass between it and next door would be nice to do since I know we could never get lucky enough to get next to those who love only cats or nothing at all.

Later…

Definitely gotta keep most of this entry private. Good news: They just jacked my husband’s income to 50K. Bad news: Part of the way they do that is because the 10-hour shifts are back, including Saturday, which means we’ll never have time to move no matter how much money we have. We probably won’t really make 50K in the end, but there’s no way in hell we’ll be under 40K.

Talk about being overcompensated! Sometimes we really do get what we ask for… tenfold. Less than two years ago we were wishing someone would give him just two lousy weeks of work and now he can’t stop working. Less than one year ago I was thinking how wonderful it would be to have vision coverage and now I can’t stop going to the damn eye doctor (hopefully tomorrow will be it for a year).

Tom’s ordering new work shoes to help his feet and asked if I wanted anything. Sure. How ‘bout some incense? So I got ten 20-packs of patchouli, lavender, strawberry, cedarwood, apple cider, peach, scary night, shower and flowers, a variety pack consisting of love, musk and honeysuckle, and one containing cinnamon, vanilla and raspberry.

Another reason I wanted to keep this private is that I don’t want to mention Dorene’s rudeness and paranoia in public for fear of it encouraging her to harass me, but much more importantly, harassing my friends. I could just keep blocking the bitch, but with my friends, it would be different. I could explain the situation to them if they were harassed and questioned me about it, but I would feel so damn bad as hell that they got sucked up into this bitch’s web of shit. Wish I could tell myself not to worry or care about what happens to others, but I do care. I do care if you’re someone that really matters to me. Unfortunately, she blocked me before I could block her, which means I’ve got to watch my friend list and block her if she reappears on the list. I also set my friend list so only I see it, not that she couldn’t see friends who have posted things and left comments and likes.

Dorene is a 32-year-old, bisexual mulatto woman living in New York who also attended Valleyhead. We never met, though, cuz she was there a decade after I was. While I knew she was moody and opinionated, she was still smart, unlike Kim and Molly. She attends college and seems to want to really make something of her life. While most of her posts were nasty, vengeful and full of anger, I could also relate to a lot of what she said, and the posts were well-written. Sometimes they were even funny even when they weren’t meant to be since she often added a touch of humor to even the more serious posts.

I liked Dorene even though the posts pertaining to color and race would get old. “I’m an Oreo,” she would randomly come out and post, and I’d be thinking, so? I’m white. Should I tell the whole world? Should I flaunt it and be proud of it? Should I try to use it against those that piss me off? Then I would just roll my eyes and move on.

I knew that most of the claims of discrimination were, as with most blacks these days, more than likely fabricated or at least imagined. So many blacks see racism where it simply does NOT exist. Like today. She posted that she was being discriminated against because two rental companies told her she needed to make 2.5 times her rent. I don’t usually say anything on most of her posts cuz I always figured she’d take it all wrong or read things in that weren’t there. But today I did. Friends are supposed to be able to share their thoughts, right? So I told her that this is common everywhere and that color has nothing to do with these income requirements. They told Tom and I that we’d need to make something like 3 times the space rent for one of the parks we checked out.

Anyway, I don’t know what she didn’t get about what I said or where she thought I was saying they should be allowed to discriminate against those with disabilities because then I got, “Are you implying they should discriminate against those with disabilities or who are low income? How dare you assume shit, blah, blah, blah… and leave rude comments, blah, blah, blah…” Then it was off on a poor-poor-black people tangent and I’m like, what’s race or color got to do with income requirements?

Really, I am sick to death of some groups’ non-stop whining. There is no appeasing and satisfying some folks! Blacks may not be as bad as Muslims, but sometimes they really make it hard for others to give them a chance and to like them and to be their friend. Why don’t people see these people for the hating, paranoid, excuse-making, finger-pointing, lazy assholes so many of them can be? Because they don’t want to? They cry discrimination in everything. Everyone’s always out to get them, so they think. But then why are most prisoners these days white? Well, it isn’t cuz more whites commit more crimes but because they’re the ones not getting away with it.

We drove through this rundown neighborhood that was predominantly black and I shook my head in sad disgust. Why? Because it’s not 1950! It doesn’t have to be this way anymore. They have more opportunities at their disposal these days than whites ever had. There is so little discrimination these days (that’s actually real) and they are given first dibs on nearly everything. Yet too many of them still choose to join gangs, jump on welfare, sit at home and resort to a life of crime. But why? If they’re physically and mentally able to work, why? They don’t have to live like this anymore! Some may fall on hard times just like everyone else, but really, I’m all outa sympathy for these folks. Give some folks the world and they’ll still shit on you cuz enough is never enough for angry, vengeful people who feel the need to try to avenge the past and take advantage of all that’s given to them, even if it means fucking people over by reverse discriminating against them.

Then I get one final message about having my husband’s money to “hide” behind (always that evil homemaker. So what if she works part-time online and does her best despite a seriously debilitating sleep disorder that greatly hinders and limits what she can do and when she can do it), stop dressing like a 5-year-old (what does the way I dress have anything to do with her misunderstanding my point?), and go to hell, white bitch (again, only she sees and mentions color).

Well, I’m no longer open to making new friends no matter how kind they may seem at first and no matter what their color or nationality. There are just too many crazies out there misunderstanding the simplest things and going off over nothing. Tell someone to have a good day and they just might take it as you telling them to kill their family and then themselves. Andy, Nane, Mary, Adonis, Alison and those I’m closest to online really help make up for these assholes and I love and appreciate them all the more for it.

I didn’t bother to waste my time trying to defend myself or explain that she missed my point. I’m only writing about it here because that’s what a journal is for. I can tell people something, but I can’t make them get it. I don’t need this kind of childish drama in my life either, and she can go take her moods out on others. When shit hits me, I remove myself from it. It’s easier that way.

But this is the type of person to stalk people. It’s not just something I suspect, but that she herself has actually admitted to, and quite proudly. Oh yeah, she’s admitted to plenty of acts of revenge she’s taken pleasure in, and to stalking old friends, girlfriends and boyfriends. So this isn’t something I’m just assuming.

Then a friend of hers messaged me (it went to my ‘other’ box) asking me who the hell I think I am and how Dorene’s sharing my pics to laugh at with others.

Fine with me. If I was worried about pics being shared, they’d never be online anywhere at any time to begin with. Without replying, I blocked the childish bitch.

Hopefully, Dorene and her cronies will leave me and my friends alone, though I’d rather her hit me with 20 messages a day than just 1 to a friend, especially my family. After dealing with Molly and then Kim, I don’t need troll #3 to have to play block it with. Fortunately, I’m not nearly as reachable as I used to be.

A part of me still misses Ask, despite the never-ending slew of trolls that pestered me and then latched onto those I would communicate with regularly there. I’m going to wake that account up late in the night in the next day or two just to keep it alive in case I ever change my mind and decide to use it again. I like to keep my options open. If only trolls, as a rule, didn’t pester our friends! I don’t mind deleting and blocking their shit that much. That’s easy enough to do. But I feel terrible when they involve others who have nothing to do with whatever it is they’ve decided is so evil about me that I must be stalked, hounded, followed and pestered.

Wonder if she has my blog links? She knows about MyOpera because she commented on them (on FB since she couldn’t do it on the blog). This isn’t important, though. She can’t access me there and there’s no one to mess with there. My friends there are people I’m either very close to that would go to bat for me in a heartbeat and that wouldn’t buy anything the crazy bitch said, or they’re nearly strangers.

There’s a spider on the wall. I think I’ll go “hide” behind my husband and make him kill it.