So pissed off right now (at Kim and Aly) and so torn between the “don’t let Kim control how I live my online life” vs. the “don’t give her the satisfaction of having accounts available to block and play false victim with” attitude. Seriously, I regret and resent every psychopath I ever met through Aly! I also totally regret telling Aly about Prosebox too, cuz wherever she goes, Kim goes. 

First, I’ve been finding it a bit odd that Aly’s supposedly sending both texts and emails I haven’t gotten, and that she also hasn’t gotten some I’ve sent. Now technology is always glitchy. I get that. But what if she doesn’t “need” me anymore now that Kim’s back to texting with her regularly which is her favorite thing to do in life next to reading? Aly’s a very needy person who will gravitate and focus mostly on whoever she can get the most attention from. She also clearly prefers delusional nutjobs like Kim for friends. This has always struck me as weird. Usually the crazy seeks the crazy and the intelligent seeks the intelligent. That’s the thing, though… Aly may be intelligent and sane, but she’s not always very stable or honest. 

What’s got me going tonight is that Kim is once again playing the victim she never was, though I am not going to let Aly know what I know because I know it would get back to her. I also know that Kim’s needlessly blocking me (like I would even want to read/comment on Kim’s boring blogs?) shouldn’t bother me a bit. After all, it can’t hurt me. But I feel that by her knowing where my accounts are, I’m giving her a chance to play victim, even though I’m not doing that at all and am just simply going about my business. Again, I shouldn’t care, but I just hate to give her the satisfaction of blocking me whenever I can help it, so I once again deactivated on Twitter, since I’m not really interested in using that site after all. Can’t do anything about Facebook, and she’s probably blocking me every time she creates one of her silly fan accounts she’s so obsessed with on Blogger, but I’m doing what I can to prevent her from playing vicky vicky on other sites. 

It started with me happening to notice the latest users at the bottom of the front page on Prosebox. I haven’t known her or Aly to use the site in a while, so I haven’t been checking. But then I got a Stafford Springs, CT hit on my tracker and ran to check the new users since she uses such obvious names. Sure enough, there were two new Ryan Hanrahan Fans accounts, one of which I was quick enough to block her on before she got a chance to block me. She (or Aly) happened to be on at the same time. I ran and looked in from my bogus account and it said, “Owned by Kim M and sometimes managed by Aly P,” so there was no doubt who it was connected to. 

Lisa B Fans just showed up and I just blocked that too, even though Kim only visited me once. She made 5 page views that took nearly 3 minutes. 

With all the reading I’ve done on stalkers like Kim and Molly, and others that are psychopaths or sociopaths, it’s actually very common for them to act like they’re the ones being victimized. The shitsters in Phoenix probably really truly believed deep down that they were the true victims in the case. This is classic stalker/psycho behavior. 

I appreciate the fact that no trolls have tried to contact me or harass anybody I’m connected to, but there is still something about Kim blocking me that really gets to me. I can’t stress enough just how UNinterested I am in anything she writes or does online. Meaning I have no desire to follow any of her accounts, nor do I have any desire to contact her. Not that she ever would, because again, she doesn’t believe she’s done anything wrong, but even if she’s suddenly apologized to me for every shitty thing she ever did to me, her apology would go unaccepted and she would remain unforgiven and avoided. The only time I don’t avoid her is when I’m blocking one of her accounts before she can block me. I have zero contact with her otherwise, and I’m not worried about her excessive blocking and risking my accounts because the people running the sites can see that no activity from my account to hers is ever-present. 

So here’s what I decided to do about it for now. I don’t want to shut down all my accounts and dump friends I’ve made online who may worry about me and who haven’t done anything wrong. Instead, I’ve chosen to simply disappear from public view for a while. This will also give me a chance to see if Aly really is playing with me or not. I sent her a message on my-diary and told her I’ve texted and emailed her, and that if she doesn’t get those or my message on my-diary, then I don’t know what else I can do. If her heart is no longer in our friendship and she would rather focus on sick fucks like Kim, that’s her prerogative but I’m not going to play any games either. 

So like I said, rather than dump accounts that I worked so hard to build up over the years and punish innocent people, I’m going to stop using my-diary for now, go private on LiveJournal, create a new book that’s FO on Prosebox, and stop using my public Blogger blog. I’ll use my private one there. I thought of embedding Tammy's email so that they would auto-send to her, but I think I’ll just share those on Facebook for either her or friends. Most will be for just her. I’ll email some, too. 

To the best of my knowledge, the only activity Aly should be able to see until I decide how to proceed from here is on Fitbit. I can create private boards on Pinterest just in case she thinks to look for me there. She’s not into pic collecting, but she knows of my account there. Until I find out for sure what’s going on with her, let HER do some wondering of her own and wonder what the hell’s going on with me. This is just a temporary setup, though. I’m not going to abandon my blogs and journals just for one delusional psycho who loves to play victim. 

Aly deactivated on Twitter saying she has no use for the site either, but my guess is she’s created an account that is connected to one of Kim’s many dozens of accounts. Only difference is that Aly’s smart enough not to make the name so obvious. Well, Aly has a right to do what she wants online that she doesn’t want me knowing about, but if I do catch her any more lies, or she continues to be the only one that I happen to have issues sending and receiving texts and emails with, I’m not going to literally dump her but she can count on not hearing as much from me if that’s the case. 

Later… 

Lisa B may not be connected to Kim or Aly. I left some less-than-kind comments from my bogus account and that account was immediately blocked Kim-style. The fact that that account wasn’t blocked by Lisa B, makes me doubt the connection. The writer said it was their first fan account because “someone else was doing it,” and while the writing was Aly good, it mentions things that seem very un-Aly, and appears to be in the South. Aly doesn’t drive a Honda Civic nor did she ever eat at Subway every day. 

Unless it’s an attempt to see if my bogus account comments. Maybe she’s testing that account to see if it’s connected to me. I better leave a comment then. If I don’t she may wonder why I only commented on the “obvious” account. 

The only other thing that points away from Aly is the time. She usually crashes around midnight her time while Kim is up really late. 

I probably shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t resist finally replying to Andy's message last night about my journals not making sense to him with, “No surprise there. Not much ever made sense to you. Now try figuring out…” I listed the months of blogs he hasn’t gotten yet that I also sent him last night. I just had a bored moment and found the idea amusing. 

Same with “laughing” at Nane. Yeah, now that they have reactions there I laughed at a post of hers on some musician’s page about a delay in the release of an album she’s been wanting, even though she posted it about a year ago.