We ordered Echo Dot from Amazon so now we can have Alexa in both the living/kitchen/dining area as well as in the master bedroom. Sometimes I like to listen to audiobooks while I’m coloring in the living room and other times I like to listen while relaxing in the bedroom. Now I won’t have to take our original Alexa back and forth. 

So last night and the night before I was depressed. I understood it was because my hormones still have a ways to go to adjust as they fizzle out with age and not due to something going on in my life, but it was no fun. I wasn’t suicidal and hadn’t been since the economy was at its worst. I also haven’t attempted suicide since my teens. 

Always looking for ways to help myself, I had looked up anti-anxiety foods and thought it was time to look up happy foods. Tuna was one of them so I opened a pouch of hickory-smoked tuna, squirted in some light mayo, and munched it down. Unless it was just psychological or something, it really did help perk me up. When I’m down, which fortunately isn’t too often, I lack the energy to do anything, but after eating the tuna I worked out and felt more alive and productive. 

Last night I dreamed I was asleep during the daytime and was alone in the house. I came semi-awake at one point and looked toward the doorway of the bedroom. There I saw the silhouette of a man. Then it was suddenly nighttime and I walked through the darkened house and into the kitchen. I looked across the hall and into the laundry room and through the window at a car parked in the driveway of the house across the street. In reality, you can only see the road leading towards the edge of the park from there and not anybody’s driveway. But I could see a car parked in the driveway in the dream and a strange light that flashed for a split second every few seconds or so. Then Tom suddenly appeared and startled me. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. 

Then I was walking down the street when I saw a young girl limping barefoot and bloody in the street. She had a head wound and fell to the street. I knew she’d been attacked by someone and I braced myself in case the attacker came after me and I had to defend myself. 

Then a girl around her age was present and all I heard was “The only way they’ll release you,” and immediately understood it to mean that while she needed medical attention, there was only one way she would be released from the hospital without question since she was afraid to rat out her attacker. 

But then I was suddenly on a bike rather than on foot, and the guy I knew to be the attacker was also there on his own bike. I knew he was wary of me because I was a witness. However, I refused to be scared and was determined to see to it that his macho side stopped with me if he came after me, but I woke up as I was riding away. 

The only good dream I had was being in a wonderful relationship with Matthew Gubler, the guy on Criminal Minds. He’s a hottie for a “pretty boy” or a “nerd,” but I’ll stick to my hubby, thank you. :) 

A troll named Cindie (if that’s even her real name), is showing a dark side I didn’t know existed. She’s just an online acquaintance who I knew wasn’t all there, but whose worst fault seemed to be being a pest. You just never know who’s going to surprise you with a whole new personality you didn’t know existed within them. 

I don’t know much about her other than that she’s got Asperger’s, isn’t all there, and can be a bit of a pest. I’ve unfriended and even blocked her and her cousin Lori at times for butting into Facebook discussions I didn’t feel pertained to them, and just being pests in general. 

When I was going through my block list for the first time in quite a while I saw their names and unblocked them, thinking that maybe they’ve changed with time. Dumb assumption to think that these 50-somethings would be much different after a handful of months, though! Lori didn’t bug me as much, but right away Cindie started messaging me like crazy. A week or two ago she suddenly asked me out of the blue if I was upset and wanted to talk yet everything was fine. I didn’t think much of it at the time. So anyway, she ended up giving me her cell number and demanding mine so we could text each other. I politely explained to her that I had no interest in texting since I found it much more convenient to keep in touch with people online, though I do text Aly. Aly, whose latest chemo dose isn’t working, and will soon be taking a medication that’s expensive but has a 97% chance of success. 

Anyway, Cindie took my declining to text with her the wrong way and said I was being “cold” to her and that she “wasn’t going to deal with my attitude” and to “watch out” and “later cunt.” 

I reported the message and blocked her, not that I expect Facebook to take it seriously at all, and made all past posts for friends only in case she decides to troll me through them. As a couple of people taught me years ago, it’s good to take precautions every now and then. It’s just that a lot of these mentally imbalanced people get really paranoid and even delusional at times, totally believing that people are victimizing them. Hopefully, I won’t hear from her again, but if I do she will have to deal with the consequences depending on what she does. I ignore those I dislike, but I don’t sit back and take it if they force their existence on me either. 

Really gives me mixed emotions about dealing with the mentally ill, challenged or whatever you want to call it. I don’t want to turn my back on them as it never helps to shun or ostracize those who can’t help being the way they are, but I also don’t want to deal with their crazy unpredictability either. If someone’s just depressed or a bit anxious, that’s one thing. But those who can’t distinguish right from wrong and fact from fantasy can be hell to deal with. Just utter hell. 

Are there any good-looking nuts out there, BTW? Cindie’s ugly as fuck as is Lori as is Molly as is Kim… Speaking of Kim, she never blocked the Twitter account I set up as a test, so no, she’s not watching me regularly like she used to. She only blocks what she sees accidentally through Aly. I disabled the account.