“It's best to have crumbs with bums than steaks with fake ass snakes. Be true. If no one likes you for you, they don't matter.” 

I absolutely LOVE this comment made to me on Blogger by Lady Lagoon! 

I know I said a few entries ago that that would be it as far as the Aly/Kim thing goes, but today I woke up feeling numb where Aly is concerned. 

Aly, the “friend” that called me a fatty when she was sticking up for those picking on Molly. 

Aly, the “friend” that told me Kim’s face reminded her of an elephant without the trunk which she wouldn’t DARE say directly to Kim. So maybe Aly isn’t much truer of a friend than Kim, though that’s their problem. 

Aly, the “friend” that I realized could give Kim or anyone else any amount of info on me she wanted if she could give me all the personal info she’s given me on Kim. I didn’t learn that Kim’s sister Carol dumped her husband and kids for another woman from a Chinese fortune cookie. 

Then again, I really don’t know if numb is the proper word. Resigned may be more like it. All I do know is that I don’t feel saddened or angry at this point. Shocked, yes. She really never struck me as the dumping type. That’s always been more my department. In fact, I almost dumped the rest of my friends yesterday on every site I have them on, knowing my life would be easier if I just limited my contact to family only. That way they wouldn’t get a chance to piss me off and I wouldn’t get a chance to offend anyone with my bluntness. But I couldn’t live with the guilt, so I didn’t go on a deleting frenzy after all. 

I understand, however, that it wasn’t just about me being critical and not crazy enough for her, but more like no longer needed. Once she got her old texting buddy back, then she didn’t really need me. But there are plenty of others that DO need, want and accept me as I am and that DO give a shit about me. Those are the ones I’ll be focusing on from here on out. :) 

Later… 

LOL, Kim has been creating new accounts on Prosebox for her silly fan fantasies. There are three of them that I know of. But surprisingly, she hasn’t blocked me from any of them. Instead, I have been the one to take the honors, fittingly, as I’m the one who has been stalked. 

Out of natural curiosity, I wonder if she’s read me on Blogger or my-diary since she can’t read me on Prosebox. I’m staying FO on Prosebox for now regardless of her. She can still block my account either way, but I’ve chosen to remain FO for a while longer because I’m not open to new friends and not because of what she may do. She and Aly can read all they want. I just don’t ever want to hear from Kim or Molly. 

I’ve been trying to decide what to do about the 5 places I’m currently writing at, which is a bit too many to manage. I think I’ll drop my-diary and LiveJournal, which means Kim and Aly will have to show themselves on Blogger unless they disable cookies. I’m just bored with my-diary and LiveJournal. I’ll probably keep my public Blogger blog public, but not bother to post private entries/sections on any site other than when I back up everything on Amazon’s cloud because it’s just pointless. Or maybe I’ll just back those up on Prosebox, but not LiveJournal or my private Blogger blog. 

I’m going to keep doing Facebook Notes for Tammy, so the 3 places I’ll be writing at will be Blogger, Prosebox and Facebook. I’ll leave a forwarding link to Blogger on LiveJournal, but I’m not going to give a heads-up on my-diary. I’m going to just leave. 

Later… 

I don’t know if it’s PMS or something else, but damn am I tired tonight. I’m beyond tired. I almost feel like I’ve been drugged. Had a strange ache between my shoulder blades and a bit of a sore throat too, though I don’t feel sick like I’m coming down with anything. 

I keep going off balance easily as well, but as Tom pointed out, that’s because I need my bad ear cleaned. I will be seeing the ENT next month. 

Our motion censored kitchen pail broke and I can’t say I’m not kind of glad. I know Tom loves high-tech stuff, but I never cared for the damn thing because it would go through batteries like crazy. So much so that he started using rechargeables, but it was still a pain going to open the thing just to find the battery had died. So he’ll use that in the storeroom, and off we’ll be going later on to Walmart for the one I wanted in the first place and that I told Mr. High-Tech to get. :) I just want a regular, no-frills pail. 

We did a small grocery run yesterday morning, and I got a miniature doll with dark hair and eyes. Yes, it’s perfectly childish, but it’s so adorably cute standing on the kitchen counter. 

My sister has her laptop set up on a small table in her bedroom, which is a large room just like mine. Since we’ll eventually get a new kitchen set and I have other places to eat, color and do whatever at, I dragged our little round table into the bedroom so I can work in there during the daytime when it’s quieter. At night I’ll be in the living room with my laptop hooked up to my 32” smart TV. 

I moved one of our 3 giant artificial plants from the spot the table now sits at, and that exposed much of the wall in that area. What did the sticker fanatic do? Sure enough, she picked out this gorgeous window mural for that spot. The mural is of cherry trees in a park with bright lush green grass. You can see a few people milling about, too. 

It shouldn’t clash with the mint green walls in there, as some murals and wall décor can when it comes to colored walls, because of the white frame. 

I had a dream Tom and I were staying someplace (on vacation or to live?) and I was in the living room when I glanced up at the sunlight streaming through the blinds. I then got up and looked out the large window there. Instead of seeing lots of houses like you do here, I gazed out at a vast and lovely natural setting. It didn’t look like a pine forest like up in Oregon or even like the woods of Auburn. It wasn’t densely wooded at all. Instead, there were sprawling green hills with scattered trees. 

I don’t miss the extreme cold and snow, but I miss rural living. Not the hassles it’d bring like having to burn or haul trash, and not the wells going out, but the seclusion and peace. Minus any landlord’s mutts that are never allowed indoors, of course. 

This climate here is both good and bad when you think about it. It’s good in that it doesn’t get extremely hot or cold, but if you’re a noise hater who’s easily distracted, well, we escaped the snow and mega cold but didn’t warm up enough to shut the people up in the wintertime. People are out and about here year-round, though more active in the winter. 

Later… 

Oh, fucking shit. Like really! Oh. Fucking. Shit. How can I be so damn dumb at times??? 

For the first time in ages, I thought to double-check my friends who have access to my FO blog on PB. I admit I'm more open on that particular site due to the number of friends I've acquired there. I decided to clean up my friends and basically delete those I never hear from like I do from time to time on Facebook. 

Sure enough, I spot one of Aly's many accounts. She may not even remember she has that account because both she and Kim create account after account on every single site they use, something I'll never get. They create, delete, create, delete, create, delete, occasionally just abandoning some of them without bothering to deactivate first. Usually, that's a sign one's doing something wrong, but their reasons are their reasons and that's not what matters. All that matters is that I not be so careless like that again! I blocked the account just in case she does remember it exists. If she's aware of it and remembers the PW, who knows if she looked in on that particular blog or not, but I think I finally have all ports closed that I wish to close. I don't care who sees what elsewhere, but PB is strictly FO only for now.