Facebook really needs to stop forcing us to see the "likes" and comments our friends make to their friends. Really. I mean, sure it’s nice that they have block buttons, but it was less than thrilling to see a picture of Bill staring back at me with a happy little smile. Yeah, Sarah “liked” a pic of Daddy Dearest standing next to his present object of abuse (Janet) and I just had to see it till I blocked Janet altogether. It was her new profile pic. Unless the cock has me blocked, it doesn’t do Facebook. 

And dying? Looks healthy to me. I didn’t see any frail, haggard, pale, unhealthy dying person. I saw a healthy, fat, well-fed man. I also saw a person who brought out the rage in me with the memories that seeing that cock’s face brings out. That’s no doubt gotta have affected Tammy a bit too, I would think. Then again, I don’t know about that. She seems really confused and unsure of her feelings toward our parents. If she can admit in one breath all the horrible things they did to us, then remember them on Facebook and go to their graves, maybe she’s still got a soft spot for Bill? 

Like this girl on Prosebox that always bitches about all the atrocities her mother’s committed, leaving me to wonder why the hell she bothers since she’s an adult. There’s this saying, “We can pick our friends, but we can’t pick our family.” No, we can’t. But we can pick whether or not to pick up our phones and call them, can’t we? I guess that just like some kidnap victims develop Stockholm’s Syndrome, some will always have a place in their hearts for those who have treated them the worst in life. 

Well, all I can say is this… I don’t worship, protect, defend or respect anyone that screws me, dead or alive, related or not. Now we can’t undo the past, but we can handle the future differently. A lot differently. If you believe in God, then God help you if you burn us in the future, whoever you may be, cuz not even He will be able to protect you then. :) 

About an hour after falling asleep really late last night, I woke up hot as hell, heart pounding fiercely. My Fitbit said it was 112, though online it said it never went over 107. I saw it up to 116 when I got up out of bed to Skype Tom. Although I wasn’t scared, I was wound up enough to need a lorazepam to help me get back to sleep. I remembered the days when I’d go through this without any tools to help me. No lorazepam. No emotional tapping. No understanding of what was going on. Either way, really hope these things don’t become a regular part of my life again. I’ve been sleeping so much better and with less waking up along the way, and would really like to keep it that way. 

Been feeling kind of borderline today. Maybe I’ll so go listen to the book I’m finishing up, Wanton Regard. Lying in the dark listening helps relax me. 

Sent a message to the people I won the set of dolls from, but don’t expect to hear back, much less get the dolls, even though we are listed as a winner on their site. 

I also stopped all tweet sweeps. I’m not going to help promote them at my expense. Why clutter my account unless I’m going to actually get something for it?