The loud car stuck around for 3 hours yesterday. If it came in later on, I don’t know.

I crashed at 5:30 the last two evenings and both times I was woken up an hour by something loud going by though I don’t know what it was. When I finally got up for good, all I remembered were bits and pieces of nonsensical dreams that I find hard to put into words, even as a writer.

Although I’m a bit dizzy, especially when I move my head, I’m definitely not as fatigued as I was yesterday. Yesterday I never could wake the hell up. It was so frustrating! I felt like something was trying to force me to choose between cutting my dosage and being exhausted (if there’s a connection there) and taking a full dose and being anxious.

It would be both good and bad if the dose cut turned out to solve my anxiety issues. Of course it would be good for obvious reasons and it would certainly be a simple solution… Just take a lower dose. That much would be easy. But I would really prefer to be able to take closer to what my body really needs.

In the end, I’m sure that being able to tell Dr. A when I see her on September 20th that the answer was in my dosage and that I’ve broken records as far as how long I’ve gone without anxiety is just a fantasy and that it’s going to get me again soon enough. A part of me wishes it would do it right now so I could just rule out the meds altogether and just go back to 75s where I have more energy. I still don’t know that the fatigue is completely tied into the dose anyway. Yes, I’m older now but why wasn’t I this fatigue before I was diagnosed? So I don’t think it’s all about the dose. I think it’s a combination of things. Thyroid, hormones, age, whatever.

I was able to go out walking, even if I only did 10 minutes. I saw the planes have been annoying me in the early mornings since last September. The sun had yet to rise but there was just enough light to see the two that headed east. They were definitely commercial airplanes that had taken off rather than preparing to land just as I suspected all along. Can’t say how high up they were but I’m guessing about 2000 feet. I could just make out the engine placement.

I’m definitely able to be more productive today even if I’m not exactly bursting with energy. I worked on my NaNo project. There’s no way I won’t nail my word count goal in plenty of time, so I can afford to skip a day here and there.

Tom now has a week and a half of days off accumulated and since our next anniversary is a big one being that it will be 25 years, he’s going to take some time off then. Not necessarily a whole week but since it falls on a weekend, maybe he’ll take a long weekend. Since he can control his schedule much easier than I can, he’ll match my schedule no matter what it is. I don’t know what we’re going to do at that time since it’s still a ways away.

I finished dusting the living room while Fuzzy tried hopelessly to break into the pigs’ cage while they remained hidden in their burrow. Those three-pound cowards absolutely must hide from that one-pound nightmare, hahaha.

Rockefeller’s so funny because he goes off when he hears Tom pull in. I was down in the bedroom which is far from where he pulls in. But Rockefeller is right by that wall, so even though I couldn’t hear him pull in, I knew when he did because Rockefeller let me know it.

Just wish I was healthier so I could devote more time to these furballs.

Found Aly’s account after forgetting the username when combing through comments I’d received and then I blocked it. Sooner or later I know she’s going to notice but hopefully, she’ll think it’s a glitch or something.