Just got done at the lab and now I’m waiting in the car while Tom gets us stuff from Burger King. I told him to just get me fries and a shake since I make burgers better than they do.

Are that many doctors that stupid, or are there just that many high on denying things to their patients? Pretty sure I figured out exactly what’s causing my cramps where my gallbladder used to be. It’s tied into what messed with thyroid absorption last summer and what I think is messing with it right now. I did more research on it and it clearly says that it can block the absorption of vitamin D along with a few other vitamins, and we know vitamin D affects the thyroid. This is just one of the post-cholecystectomy problems you can have. Yet the G.I. doc and other docs said they never heard of such a thing. I knew my rising TSH last year was connected to the cholecystectomy. I've had cramps, gas, and mild nausea.

It’s like I get punished for everything I have done to me. My TMJ was the result of ear surgery, then I had dental issues after having braces, and now this is the price I’m paying for the cholecystectomy. I swear I’m going to have more problems without the gallbladder than with it! It was either this, though, or eventually get stones and infections and have to have major surgery.

Anyway, they pulled three vials of blood and now I just wait and hope for the best. The scale is still down, but I feel cold at times, so I don’t know what to think. Either way, I’m not playing the dose-tweaking game again. I swear it's like something wants to keep the TSH games going, though, like I was never meant to be consistently under 10 let alone normal. Now that I'm not having anxiety issues to cause me to skip doses and mess with my TSH, I have this shit doing it for me instead.

PB is really frustrating the shit out of me lately. It seems I'm triggering the spam filter no matter what I do, even in private books. I'm contemplating updating there by the month in one big huge entry instead of daily or every few days.

I dreamed we moved someplace and I didn't want to leave it because they had the best weather and food, but I feared we would have to because it was expensive.

Then I lived in a small privately owned hotel that I also worked in. I knew Tom in the dream, but he was off working somewhere. The hotel was owned by a super-rich couple. They were so rich that at the end of their shift, I would watch them mount these horses sitting outside along with a woman dressed very professionally in some kind of pilot outfit. She wore a white blouse and a dark navy skirt. I knew they were taking the horses to their privately owned plane and that the professionally dressed woman was going to fly them to their home. This was their normal way to and from work. How the woman mounted the horse dressed as she was, I don't know.

So glad my massive editing job is finally coming to an end. I may not have done a perfect job, but it is what it is. I'm not going through nearly 10K entries again. I tried to not only correct things but also make them more consistent. However, sometimes "OK" was "okay," and that's fine. I've noticed that different speech-to-text programs write things differently. One may say "10:00 AM" while another may say "10:00 a.m." Any idiot can understand what I'm saying, though, and most importantly, I get it.

Soon, I'm going to be getting into other things, mostly creative writing and crafts. Just for fun, I may run some of my old stories through AI and let it correct them. I don't like all the changes it makes, but the ones I do like simply correct things without changing the story itself, and I appreciate that. I don't want it to take away from my own individual creations and give me something entirely different that makes me feel like someone else wrote them and they’re not my stories.

I wish Aly were alive to enjoy these new technologies! I miss her so much. I'm sure she would have found AI helpful for some things. I absolutely love it and can't imagine going back to life without it, just like I said when Tom introduced me to computers in 1993 and then when Alexa came around in 2015.

Anyway, I don't have to run my writing through the text reader anymore. I can just skim it, give it to AI, and then skim it again to make sure it didn't change anything too drastically. It does like to tone down my swears, though, LOL, but that's OK. I still let Grammarly have a go at it the first time around. It works while I write.

Soon, I'm going to go through my last manuscript, the blackmail story with Nane as my muse. I haven't met anyone lately that makes for a good muse, so I'm using old ones. Some were people I've seen on- or offline, some came from dreams, and some came from my vivid imagination. I don't know that I'll crank out three or four stories a year like I used to, but I'm determined to finish what I start.

I'm also going to finish my latch hook rug once and for all and start the cross-stitch kit I have a feeling I'm going to regret getting. I also have adult coloring books and diamond paintings to do, plus there's acrylic painting and my oil pastels. Maybe I'll even go back to studying and practicing languages because it's good brain exercise. It's hard work, but it's fun, too.

I'm continuing to have on-and-off stomach cramps, and sometimes I even feel slight nausea. Tomorrow is lab day, so hopefully, I'll get some answers, though I don't think this is anything serious. I doubt it's connected to my liver. I'm worried I'm going to have a bunch of bad numbers just the same, but there's only so much I can do about that. Of course, they're going to call when I'm asleep since nobody can use the damn portal. The worst numbers I'm expecting to come back are cholesterol. Hopefully, my TSH will be under 10 and my A1C will be good along with my WBC. I'm not sure what to think about my thyroid because I still feel like I have hypo symptoms. I've been in a good mood, and I'm chilly at times. I have a little bit of hair loss and dry skin as well. If it's not under 10, I don't expect it to be over 15. I'm guessing it's going to be 11 or 12. The question will be why. Is the gland dying some more, or are stomach issues blocking the absorption of the medication?

Last night, I had several dreams involving my old ENT. We were goofing around playfully, and she was carrying me somewhere. I hugged her, kissed her cheek, and said, “I love you.” Then I quickly added, “In a friendly way, of course,” so she wouldn't get the wrong idea.

It's weird because I'll go a while without dreaming of her and then all of a sudden she's in several dreams. Part of me regrets rejecting friend and message requests on Facebook in case she made good on her word and contacted me, but I know she wouldn't. No one ever reaches out to me first.

New York is blurry! I can't wait for my lenses to arrive. I’m now skirting above the Finger Lakes, just under Newark and Lyons. I have about 530 more miles to go.

Haven't had a drop of rain in days. Oh, I'm sure the storms will be back as soon as I'm sleeping during prime storm time to mess with my sleep, as usual.

I ordered a bunch of incense from Amazon. I hope it's not late because Amazon seems to have as many delays here as there are power failures. I got a variety pack of incense matches in 16 different scents, and I also got regular sticks in 6 different scents.

Some of the scents will be Pumpkin & Rum, Coffee & Maple Syrup, Chocolate & Vanilla, Cinnamon & Apple, Vanilla & Coconut, Raspberry & Strawberry, Bayberry, Goddess of Egypt, Musk, Sandalwood, Potpourri, Frankincense, Rain, Hollyberry, Jasmine, French Vanilla, Oriental Blossom, Cinnamon, Coconut, and Patchouli.

The $100 gift card I got for letting a nurse come to the home has restrictions. I can't just use it anywhere for anything, but we can still get plenty of use out of it at places like Walmart, Walgreens, CVS, and the Dollar Store. I just can't get alcohol with it, of course.

I'm done with the electrolysis treatments on my lower left leg, and now I'm working on my lower right leg. To be honest, I would have been done with my legs completely a while ago had I not forgotten to do it as regularly as I could have. I've already done a few treatments on my thighs, so they have a head start.

I've been doing some thinking, which is my favorite thing to do, not that I could help it if I wanted to anyway, and I realized that if my parents were suddenly alive today, I could never have anything to do with them. This is because, like with Termite Tammy, I've come to see them for the toxic people that they were. Unfortunately, it was much too late in life, and while it doesn't detract from my appreciation for when they helped us when we first got to California, I could never associate with such toxic people ever again. As much as we'd like to think they do and they may even say they do, people don't change. Maybe I could associate with just my dad, even though he was an enabler, but certainly none of the others.

Well, this really sucks. I started saving entries in drafts on Blogger, but it didn't save what I drafted. So, back to Google Docs it is.

I did some writing last night and I'm trying to remember what I wrote. It wasn't that long, maybe just a few paragraphs.

I used the new electric carving knife on the thick pork chops I got, and it worked great. Before, my hand would be killing me by the time I finished cutting them up, and I felt like I spent more time cutting than eating.

I'm no longer sure if Miss Be Happy is done in the back because the same guy was working there yesterday. I noticed planks of wood and a small pile of dirt, so I don't know what she's having done. Fortunately, Ray's place blocks out most of the sound.

I've been having signs that my thyroid is bad again and then signs saying otherwise. My weight isn't up, I'm having more trouble falling asleep, and I'm not sleeping as long. Yet on the flip side, I've been cold a lot, and of course, there's the never-ending fatigue. I had good energy yesterday, but today it's just so-so because I was up for so long.

Tom is at the plasma place now, and I'm about to hit the shower.

OMG, healthcare in this state sucks! I liked the dentist but her office staff was a joke. When Tom made an appointment with my dentist, they said they were in-network with my new dental plan. Then I get there, they take the X-rays and scale most of my teeth, only to tell me they don't accept my plan. They wanted us to pay $150. When they looked up who we talked to when we called to confirm that they took the new plan, they didn't have any notes on it at all. Stupid idiots! I was so pissed that we just walked out of there. So I got free X-rays and a free partial cleaning that would have otherwise cost $40 with the dental plan.

I already have an appointment with a new dentist. She's in the same area as the other one and she's from here, so she should be easy enough to understand—not that I couldn't understand my old dentist's Brazilian accent. I won't be seeing her until July since I was just seen and it was verified that I don't have any cavities. She did say I had a couple of large fillings that may eventually need to be crowned.

This is another somewhat large group, but hopefully, they can keep their act together until they too are no longer in-network. Damn, I'm sick of this network crap! You would think by now they would have learned how much of a hassle it puts on the patients.

So now I miss the last dentist I saw in Cali as well as my old ENT in that state.

Tom decided to use the 40-inch TV as a monitor for a month. Then, when Black Friday rolls around, he's going to get a 4K monitor.

Before, he was using a 24-inch monitor, and he gave it to me to use in the bedroom, and I love it! So much easier to see. The only thing missing is the touchscreen.

Anyway, I'll only use the desktop in the kitchen when I'm eating since that desk has more space.

Miss Be Happy's deck is done. It's just a raised platform; there are no railings or anything.

Wonder what she'll do next. She's had her windows replaced, her driveway widened, her front yard landscaped, and no doubt plenty more.

Not much is going on today, except that I'm exhausted. I was up for a long time, so I'm not surprised I'm tired today, although I shouldn't be. Still, I feel like this level of fatigue is a bit extreme. I'll make one last effort to resolve the fatigue problem when I see Rhonda.

I've trekked through a few more towns in New York: Le Roy, Caledonia, Avon, and Rush.

Yesterday, we both had a sudden urge to indulge in junk food, so we went to Publix and loaded up on all kinds of snacks. That might partly explain why I'm so tired today.

Tomorrow, my slightly wine-stained teeth will be nice and clean because I'm going to the dentist for a cleaning. I'm pretty sure they're going to take X-rays this time. Either way, I really hope I don't have any problems!

I had another VH-like dream where my parents were alive, and I didn't know Tom. This place seemed to be a short-term place, but I had to be there whether I liked it or not. I had only been there for a week or two when a male staff member surprised me by saying I'd been discharged and my parents were on their way to get me.

I called someone to verify if this was true. It was someone connected to my being there, and I knew she would know if I'd really been discharged and if my parents were really on the way. The woman sounded young and spoke in a very soft voice. I was in a large room where many patients or residents or whatever they were called were mingling, making it hard to hear her. At one point, with annoyance in her voice, she spoke louder after I asked her to repeat herself, but I still couldn't get a definitive answer about whether I'd been discharged and would be picked up soon.

Making some rainbow trout with broccoli now and not quite as tired today. This is good because we want to go out to Publix later in the morning for some variety. I crashed at 5-something and woke up at 10, 11, 12, and finally got up shortly before 2.

I said my large monitor was 21 inches, but it's actually 24. I want to get a monitor the same size and connect my laptop to it so I can have a more modern, faster device with a larger screen.

We dyed my hair yesterday, and now it's a nice deep, dark, rich shade of blackish brown. I have enough in the tube for one more dye job. After that, I'm going to see if I can stand to let the gray grow out so I can see if I have more color options. At my age, I wouldn't do hot pink or rainbow colors, but a nice light silvery lavender I might consider, or maybe light blue or light mint green.

I put some safety pins around the edge of the sheet to see if it keeps it from slipping. It's toward the top edge, nowhere near the tubes of water. Besides, the tubes are only about 5 or 6 inches tall. The rest is foam.

The neighborhood project junkie is at it again. Yeah, little Miss Be Happy is having a deck put up in back of her place, similar to the one in the house next to her and further away. If I didn't know she was from New York, I would be worried because she does have a dog.

Speaking of that state, I saw a guy pull into the honker's driveway in the car with New York plates, get out of it, and then get into the truck and leave.

We decided we're going to go to Red Lobster for our 30th anniversary next month, although it won't be on the 15th. The 15th falls on a weekend and we don't want to go then. So it will be around that time. Now that I don't have a gallbladder, the experience shouldn't leave me feeling so miserable. Haven't gone since I had a gallbladder and the last time I really thought I was going to puke.

I got another K-cup variety pack with 40 cups, each one being a different flavor.

I've been having more trouble staying asleep and I think it's because my TSH is getting low. I'll sleep solidly for the first 3-4 hours and then I wake up constantly. Labs are less than a week away so I can tweak my waiting time then.

We decided to take down the soundproofing on the exterior bedroom wall and use the same material that's on the back wall of the other bedroom for all the walls. The textured sticky wall tiles with foam inside provide similar sound insulation. It won't make it soundproof, but it will muffle sound a bit. I don't have to get a brick design either; there are various textured designs I could choose from.

Looking forward to my new lenses for my headset since the road has been rather blurry. I can barely read some signs. I've been through Darien Center, Alexander, East Bethany, and Pavilion, New York.

LOL, I AI'd Crazy Kim pretty well. The keywords I gave it were "a 300-pound woman with large glasses and very short brown hair in a karate outfit." It wasn't perfect, but it was surprisingly close. So much so that I couldn't resist sending it to her. The only thing is that her glasses and eyes are a little darker in real life and her nose is fatter too.

I'm still experiencing bipolar energy levels. Three days ago, I was fine, and the next day I was tired. Yesterday I was fine, and today I'm tired. I just don't get it. If it isn't sleep apnea or my heart, then what the fuck could it be? Well, in a few more weeks, I can ask Rhonda about it.

The truck is parked in the honker's driveway again, and it's pushed way over to the side as if it expects someone else to park next to it. 

Also, a motorcycle was circling the park at 4:30 in the morning, the earliest I've ever heard one go through here. It makes no sense for them to do that if they live here, so were they lost or just casing the place? What would you be looking for at 4:30 in the morning?

Kind of in a blah mood. I'm not just frustrated because of the fatigue, but we're coming up on our 30th anniversary next month, and now I'm watching my husband slowly turn into an old man, and it's sad. He doesn't think so, and while it may be a natural part of life, it's sad to know he couldn't work because of his essential tremor even if he wanted to. That, and his being hard of hearing is sad to see, even though I know he's not in any pain and it could be worse. He should be getting a hearing aid soon, but his ET will eventually require medication. He said maybe a hearing aid would motivate him to want to go out and do more things. Well, money and energy would certainly motivate me more, especially energy. I want to take a walk around the park, but I just don't have the energy.

Yesterday, I felt extremely cold and tired. Toward the end of the day, some of that fatigue and coldness started to fade. I need to mention this to Rhonda and get her opinion. Sometimes I think the two issues are related, but other times I'm unsure. If I didn't have a scale, I would suspect my TSH levels are over 10 again. To address this, I've started increasing my waiting time to an hour and taking vitamins daily until my lab appointment on the 31st.

Today, I feel better—not as tired or cold. However, I still have mild cramping in my stomach, especially noticeable when I bend over to the right. It feels like something in that area is inflamed, and crunching my upper abs makes it more pronounced.

I had a dream where we were living in an apartment, and someone was moving in above us. Tom was worried about how loud I played my music, but I suggested waiting to see how noisy they were before deciding whether to turn it down. I figured they would likely make enough noise themselves, making it pointless for me to lower my volume.

Then, we were temporarily back in California, and I was really hoping to see my old ENT. Suddenly, we found ourselves in a huge intersection with multiple lanes. When the light changed, I went in the opposite direction from Tom, not realizing where we were supposed to go. I quickly darted across to join him, hoping I wouldn't get hit.

That's all I remember from my dreams last night. Nothing too negative, though knowing someone would be moving in above me is definitely not positive either.

Today I am not as energetic as yesterday. I'm not sure why since I slept 7.5 hours and got a good sleep score. I did wake up a little more so maybe that's why. Overall, however, it does seem like the new bed could be helping because in the month that I've had it, I've had 8 tired days not counting the time the storm woke me up and then when the power went out. I normally have about 12 to 15 tired days within a 30-day period. So unless I'm just having a good month, it could be helping.

Today I'm going to be making stuffed mushrooms for the first time. I'm going to mix spinach and cheese in olive oil with bread crumbs. I'm also going to make us burgers when he gets up. Doubt I'll get around to trying the fried banana recipe today. I got some rainbow trout but I don't know if I'll have that today either.

My insurance company kept their word and I got my $100 Visa card for letting the nurse come to the house.

Went from Orchard Park to West Seneca, New York.

Irma was nice enough to surprise me with a message asking how Ray was doing and how my health was. I was wondering if anyone was ever going to take the time to reach out to me first and not message me only because I messaged them. She's probably more curious about what Ray's been up to than my health but that's okay. I told her he left in the middle of the month but probably isn't going to put palm trees in the middle of his boring yard because it would prevent visitors from parking on the gravel alongside the driveway. I also told her that my health is good as far as I know although I do still struggle with fatigue.

Just being prediabetic can cause fatigue. I really hope to hell I never end up diabetic but if I do, maybe it will motivate me to eat healthier as it did with Andy. I eat healthier more than I don't but I still have too much sugar at times. Even skinny athletes can become diabetic, though. Genetics is a big factor and it definitely runs in my family.

I still have that cramp in my lower right stomach. When you don't have a gallbladder the bile is dumped directly into the liver and I think that could be what I'm feeling although I don't know why it would take a whole year after having surgery. I did read that some liver conditions, including cancer, can cause pain to come and go but I just can't see it being that. Lab work is scheduled for the 31st so I'll find out soon.

Read an interesting article on the link between violent nightmares and the onset of autoimmune diseases. I've always had nightmares on and off but I definitely had a ton of violent nightmares when we were in Jesse's trailer around the time I suspect my thyroid crapped out on me. I attributed most of them to my psychic side warning me of trouble ahead which there certainly was due to the recession. Maybe there was more to it, though.

I wouldn't call them nightmares, but I did have some unsettling dreams last night. In one, I witnessed a murder and pretended I hadn't seen anything. Although the details are hazy, it seemed like I had a couple of roommates who were killed by intruders, leaving me unharmed for some reason. Acting oblivious, the killers insisted I travel with them to the northeast, promising to let me return afterward. We made the trip, and I hoped they would keep their word and let me go.

In the last dream, we lived in a typical neighborhood but you could still only have no more than two dogs per household. We had a one-story house, but next door was a large, old two-story house. I had wandered through it when it was vacant, so I knew what it looked like inside. A large Black family moved in, and while they seemed nice enough when we met, I was still worried they might be noisy.

One day, I peeked through the stockade fence surrounding their backyard and was shocked to see at least eight adult golden retrievers and twice as many puppies. When the woman living there found out I knew about the dogs, she seemed worried and told me to ignore it. I assured her it was no problem as long as they didn't bark, although I secretly intended to report them.

Nothing woke me up, and I have decent energy. Once again, it looks like this bed is helping with my energy levels. I knew the old mattress wasn't good, but I didn't realize it was messing up my sleep that much.

I've been having fun sharing things on Facebook, some of which only Andy and I understand. As I said, this arrangement is working out well.

I'm now 78% through my trip with 630 miles to go. I'm in Hamburg, NY.

We got the electric carving knife we ordered, and well, I guess that's it. There really isn't anything else going on other than the usual. Tom went to the plasma place, I ordered groceries online, I played with the rat, I hit the road, I did an electrolysis treatment, I updated my journal, and I played around a bit with some apps.

Exciting, huh? ;)

I got into bed feeling relieved that the storm was going to miss us and I didn’t have to worry about it waking me up. But what should wake me up instead? A power failure of course. Tom still can’t see that something sure as hell at least seems to be cursing my sleep. That’s 3 times in a week. I might as well be back in Citrus Heights. It’s like something is using other things to make up for the lack of traffic waking me up.

As far as we can tell, no storms are predicted for tomorrow. So if there isn’t another power failure, I guess I’ll just have to have a nightmare instead to ruin my sleep. I likely would have slept only one more hour, but being shorted sleep is being shorted sleep whether it’s by 5 hours or 5 minutes. I would have woken up before the power failure if my body felt it had enough sleep. It’s going to be hard to fully evaluate how helpful the new bed is with other things waking me up. That’s why I’m marking when storms or other things wake me up. It otherwise does seem to be helpful so far when I weed out all the wake-up calls.

I don’t think I’m gonna have the energy to get on the road tonight. I left off in Angola, NY.

I really like the new speech-to-text setup in Windows 11. Definitely want to upgrade my old desktop because it’s so old that it’ll only go up to Windows 10. It might be several months before I do, though.

I thought of the New Mexico thing some more, and I both do and don’t like the idea of it, just like I do and don’t like the idea of remaining in Florida for the rest of my life. That doesn’t mean it would be a bad thing if we did stay here forever which I think will be the case. It would have been bad if we couldn’t have gotten out of Oregon or California.

Right now, I’ve got a couple of chicken wings, corn on the cob, and snow peas going in the slow cooker. I’ve got parchment paper on top of the chicken to separate the veggies from the meat. That won’t be ready for about 6 hours. For now, I have a jumbo potato cooking in the oven. Should be ready soon.

I got a two-pack of French bread pizza by Stouffer’s to share with Tom earlier because I wanted to see if it made me nauseous and crampy, and it didn’t. So maybe it isn’t about grease but dairy. I don’t know what to think, but whatever it is can’t be serious. If it was my liver, I would likely have other symptoms.

The way this speech-to-text works is so awesome. I feel like I could go on and on, and I would like to, but I just don’t have anything else to say. I love how I can pause for a bit and think of what I want to say next and it still keeps running. It’s going to be great for titling, which I want to eventually do with all my LJ entries.

Random memory popped into mind. I don’t know how old I was at the time but I had to have been pretty young. We were still in the first house I grew up in so I’m guessing I was somewhere between 10 and 12.

One day my dad said he was going to Bradley Airport to pick up a lost suitcase for a friend who recently traveled somewhere. He said I should come along with him and I did. I loved airports and seeing the planes take off and land and back then it was different. You didn’t have the kind of security you have today.

So we got to the airport and were standing around, me being the naive and even dumb kid that I was, I never thought to take note of my surroundings and ask if we were even in the baggage claim area.

He stood there calmly and patiently and I rambled on like I usually did with him since my mother wouldn’t allow it, probably about some silly nonsense like wishing I could meet celebrities or even be one myself.

Suddenly, I turned and looked away from him to find there was no lost suitcase after all. Instead, my older sister Tammy had flown in from the loser she was with at the time down in Texas for a visit. She stood there casually leaning against the wall smiling down at me.

Little did I know she would one day help make my life a living hell and therefore land a spot on my list of the top ten people I hate most. Perhaps even the top five.

Written late last night…

I was woken up by thunder for the second time and it’s not even June yet! Doesn’t look like I’m gonna get much sleep on Sunday either. I have a bad feeling it’s going to be a bad storm season. This is getting to be too much like the old place only there it was traffic waking me up. When I got up at 8:00 in the morning to use the bathroom I noticed it was pretty dark out. I’d only been asleep for 3 or 4 hours. I got back in bed and right after I fell asleep - boom! No storm was even predicted so most of the time they don’t know shit. It took me a couple of hours to get back to sleep and even though I slept well for 5 or 6 more hours and got a good sleep score, I was exhausted. My body just can’t handle broken-up sleep anymore. As tired as I was, we ran out to Walgreens for treats. I managed to do some cooking for us too but that’s about it.

So Tom and I talked about moving to a “quieter” climate that wasn’t expensive like Cali or overly cold, and I talked to Becky in New Mexico since quieter usually means drier. I told her everything we like and don’t like about Florida. She lives in a tiny rural town near Las Cruces and about 40 miles north of Mexico. El Paso is an hour away where they have every specialist in the world, she says, and of course Las Cruces is closer. They’re only about 15 minutes away from stores and stuff like that, so it wouldn’t be anything like Maricopa or up on the mountain in Oregon.

She gave me a link to a realtor that helped her and her husband Kevin find their place. She’s got a 1660-square-foot manufactured home but I don’t see us being able to afford anything as big as what we used to have. It would probably have to be a dumpy old single-wide around the size of this place but to own both the house and the land and have someone around I know and have breathing space around us and not have to drive an hour to get to civilization might be a sweet deal. I don’t know her as well as I knew Aly but I know her well enough to say that she’s smart, reliable, and trustworthy. I would trust Becky alone in a room with my purse, the same as I would Andy or Jessie. Ah, Jessie. If we move, she’ll be disappointed but maybe we could shoot over and see her before we go. I just have to hope I can get up the energy to do all this!

She says the healthcare system there is good and the cost of living there is low. It’s quiet, easy living, she also says. It’s a liberal state and she says nobody cares about anyone’s “position” in life or shoves their religion down people’s throats and no one is interested in robbery.

Just an occasional LifeStar helicopter overhead, some barking when the javelinas are out, and a train that goes through the area. Boom car stereos are rare, there are no motorcycles close by, or anything extreme. She said outside they can hear donkeys and horses. I wouldn’t mind that or the train as long as the train didn’t shake the place or was louder than the sound machines I sleep with. That’s not the impression I get, though.

January until mid-February is cold, she said, which is how it is here. June, July and August are scorchers. The monsoon season is June 15 to Sept 30. I remember the monsoon seasons when we lived in Arizona. Those storms woke me up too but not nearly as much as the storms here do and the storm season here is a lot longer than monsoon season there.

No sonic booms but they do see “weird shit” in the sky. White Sands Missile Range is 40 minutes away and they do aircraft testing, but they don’t hear it.

They have trash and mail service so we wouldn’t have to get a PO Box like we did in Maricopa or burn our trash.

I told her that I don’t regret coming here and experiencing what it’s like to live here just like I don’t regret Oregon and California despite the rough times we had there, and I do like that it’s warmer here more than it’s not. But when you struggle with fatigue and you have two sleep disorders and you throw these kick-ass storms on me, it’s really throwing fuel on the fire.

Although I would expect some barking and maybe even some projects on some of the neighboring properties, I would love to be able to go to bed during the daytime not worrying about what neighbors 50 ft away or less might be up to that day.

I told her about the crazy drivers here and that the people in general aren’t very friendly.

If we ever do move it’s not going to be tomorrow or the next day. It might take a year or two. We’ve only got so much money to work with.

My only other concern would be its effect on my TMJ. It’s almost as high in elevation as K-Falls and that could make it worse, though I’d be willing to take a chance. I think the extreme cold affected it more than elevation.

I won’t miss this carpet but I’ll miss having furniture like this. The living room chairs may not be the greatest but it’s still nice having a complete household set of furniture. I’ll miss the bedroom set, the couch, and the kitchen set the most. I don’t see how we could take it with us but we’d eventually get new stuff.

Again, every place has its pros and cons. I just prefer to avoid those with major cons. Stealing my sleep is a big no-no. I’ll miss the warmer weather but the thought of moving back out west and adding another state to the list excites me a bit.

Another thing I wouldn’t miss is the mowers. No problem when I’m awake but when I’m asleep… there’s that stress of wondering and worrying if they’re going to wake me up or not. It’s especially stressful when I have appointments looming which is pretty much most of the time. I still don’t see us ever being able to afford to move but I’m definitely thinking about it and the idea kind of appeals to me. If we did move I’m going to wish I still had Galileo if we do move because they can be my doctors anywhere. Rhonda can’t.

Written today…

No storms disrupted my sleep last time around but next time around I’m not going to be so lucky. If that’s the case that will be three times in less than two weeks. However, there’s no way we can move. If we ever can it will be years from now so I might as well enjoy the many good aspects of Florida. At least the storm season isn’t year-round. The heavy traffic at the old place was. Also, this place may be small but it’s not a dump.

Becky gave me her address and I checked her place out in a VR app. I could see her dog sitting on the porch but I couldn’t see her sitting next to it because the railing was in the way. The area reminds me of Maricopa. Some well-kept homes but trashy in general. There are a lot of Mexicans there and even though it’s not politically correct of me to say so despite how true it is since it’s not what people want to hear, they’re not exactly big on neatness. I’ve lived with them enough to know this and it’s something I’ve seen with my own eyes.

Anyway, I think barking would be a definite problem there. She’s at the end of a culdesac and there isn’t much beyond it but that would be an issue no doubt if you were surrounded by homes. Becky treats her dog as a pet and part of the family because that’s what you typically do being from the East but in the West, most of them aren’t allowed indoors and the neighbors are the ones who have to deal with it.

I’ve been lucky tonight and last night. No helicopters and very few planes. The night before last I heard more helicopters than I usually hear in a month.

The cramping in the upper right stomach is still noticeable and earlier I had mild nausea. Thinking about what I’ve been eating lately, Tom and I suspect it’s because I don’t have a gallbladder. They did warn me that if I ate too many greasy foods, that could aggravate it, and I made us burgers earlier. Time to keep track of what I eat. I gotta be careful with chips too, because after having Tostitos a while back, I was nauseous. The Cheetos I got yesterday also made me nauseous. So the fucking gallbastard is still giving me shit from beyond the grave.

He’s given up vegetarianism because he says he feels better if he has some meat. He just hasn’t gone back to hot dogs which I guess is a good thing. I don’t know that he was necessarily eating healthier when he was avoiding meat because everything he ate was processed except for potatoes.

I’ve been wanting to see the Vicky White movie and the Lifetime people were kind enough to put it on LMN. I emailed them about a week ago and said I knew it was on the original channel and wondered when it would be on LMN. They said they would pass the word along that I wanted to see it and there it was when I logged in today! So I’ve got that to enjoy along with a suspense movie on Netflix. It’s a great movie so far even though it doesn’t have any dialogue. It’s called Monster.

I’m also watching the Ashley Madison docuseries. When the creators talk about why they created such a service I can’t help but think they’re so wrong but so right at the same time. Unless you agree to an open marriage up front, cheating is definitely wrong. No doubt about it. However, they’re totally correct whether we like it or not when they say that love and sex are two different things and no one’s attracted to the same person all their lives. You can love the hell out of someone and be totally devoted to them in your heart and your mind but as human nature has shown, you’re going to be attracted to different people throughout your life. Especially if you’re under 50, LOL.

I have decent energy today even though I did get up at one point thinking it was already Sunday and told Tom we forgot to do the laundry yesterday. When he reminded me it was Saturday and he was just waiting for me to get up, I told him to go ahead and do it because I didn’t expect to get back to sleep even though I got back into bed. Just beyond the back bedroom wall is the storeroom where the washer and dryer are and for some reason, this washer makes a loud bang when it changes cycles. However, I not only did fall back asleep but I never heard a thing either.

I’m scrambling to get as much done as I can today because I know I’m not going to have energy tomorrow. Not if the forecast is correct. So we changed Tinkerbella’s cage, I did some cooking, I folded the laundry after he washed it, I changed sheets, and I’ll run the dishwasher in a little while. So, typical household stuff.

Gotta hit the road tonight because I don’t expect to have the energy to do it tomorrow. I went through Silver Creek, NY and now I’m in Irving.

After I fell back asleep which didn’t take too long thanks to my comfortable bed, I had a lot of dreams. There was a dream about “Nervous” and him not liking me trying to dump him. I kept trying to push him out of an apartment I had but he kept opening the door and screaming at me. Finally, after slamming the door on him three times, he stayed away. A sense of loneliness and isolation then came over me but I knew I did the right thing.

Then I was in a large apartment building somewhere and I knew Tom in this dream. The old lady above us died and I was more bummed out about it for fear of what we may end up with above us since she had been so quiet than I was sad for her.

Then it was back to not knowing Tom. My parents were alive and I was at some kind of hotel. Outdoors, I watched these flying buses that would take off and land in the parking lot. When I went back into the building, I realized my purse was missing and I was relieved when I finally found it somewhere. However, it had been emptied out completely. A sense of panic came over me when I realized I didn’t have my parents’ number memorized to contact them because I always tapped their name when calling them without paying attention to the number. Then they suddenly appeared and I went running to my mother in tears like a child all over again telling her the contents of my purse had been stolen.

Made it to Dunkirk, New York, and have 670 miles to go.

I made Tom and I pork chops stuffed with bacon and cheese and it was absolutely delicious. I got us jumbo potatoes to go with it and I couldn’t finish it all. I was so full for so long afterward! We both were. Now I’m slow cooking a variety of veggies.

Really starting to wonder if I’ve gone hypo be it because my thyroid is dying off some more or whatever was blocking the absorption of my medication last year is at it again. I’ve been chilly, losing hair, peeing a lot, and my skin is dry as fuck. I’ll find out in a few weeks but I’m going to step up the vitamin D a week before the lab. I should also increase my waiting time before I eat or drink.

Strangely enough, I’ve been having pain on and off where my gallbladder used to be. I think I’ve mentioned it before. Sometimes it feels like an ache and other times it feels like a cramp. The last few days or so I haven’t felt much. Whatever it is, it doesn’t seem to be a big deal and hopefully, it stays that way.

There’s a site called wordclouds and you can insert a URL or text and it creates a word cloud for you of the most used words and it’s so cool!

I noticed yesterday on LJ’s app that there were name bubbles on the bottom like Kim, the mystery girl, Jenny and Jim… I was like, wow! How did that get there? So I looked into a way to have something automatically generate word clouds as opposed to me combing through each and every entry and tagging names/words. Maybe I’ll have it make a word cloud for some of my past and future entries but I’m going to have it omit mundane words like just, could, I’ll, etc.

The heavy thunderstorms we were expecting turned out to be little more than a gentle drizzle. I’m still tired, though, because I was up a long time and only slept five and a half hours. I took a little nap but this time around it didn’t refresh me. A Benadryl is definitely an order before bed to hopefully help me sleep better next time around.

Still managed to play a round of golf with Tom and pass through some more rural towns in New York. I went from Westfield to Brocton. Since I have tons of New York followers, I thought some of you might find that interesting.

I wouldn’t want to be there in the winter but in the summer it’s beautiful. It’s so green in contrast to the brown barren desert I lived in for 12 years. If it wasn’t cacti, palms, mesquites or Palo Verdes there, it seemed the only things you could grow were oleanders and bougainvilleas.

Just a quick entry as another annoying helicopter passes overhead. It’s just after 10:30 so hopefully all flying objects will settle down for the night. Hasn’t been too bad but still. Enough is enough.

Thunder woke me up when we had an unexpected storm late in the morning but I was able to nap later on. I dreamed we had a cat and lived in a two-story house. Andy was in a dream as well but I don’t remember the details. Something about him replying to a video Tom posted online.

Tomorrow I’m going to be absolutely miserable because it’s going to be storming all day. Why the fuck do these things have to happen when I’m sleeping?! And why oh why can’t I sleep at night every night?! Why did I have to be cursed with this particular sleep disorder?! It makes life so hard in so many ways. Funny too because so many people swear there’s a God and it’s given us free will. Oh, really? And where and when did I supposedly willingly agree to this shit? Believe me, it isn’t of my will at all that I have this!

I wish I could sleep at night every night because 90% of the time these storms are in the morning or afternoon. It’s going to start a few hours after I crash and carry on throughout the day and into the late afternoon. It’s going to be like trying to sleep with someone standing by your bed beating on a drum on and off hour after hour.

I may be too tired to do much writing tomorrow or the next day but I threw my Facebook link back on the right side of this blog and might make quick updates there. I pretty much always do in between blogging anyway. I know some of the posts may seem rather cryptic and some people may wonder who the hell I’m talking about and what I mean but as long as I know who and what I’m talking about, that’s all that matters.

I got bored with Evil, especially when Tom told me season 2 was race, race, race, which he knows I’m sick to death of hearing about. America’s favorite little obsession. I’m giving The Haunting of Hill House a try.

I guess I’ll hit the road soon because I’ll probably be too tired to do that for a while. I got through Ripley and now I’m in Westfield, NY.

Finally got a little bit of rain this evening but my sleep is going to be totally screwed Wednesday morning. Why do these things always have to happen when I’m sleeping?! If only I could at least keep a schedule through the storm season. I hope it’s not going to be so bad this summer that I actually miss having the honker as my worst problem. Plus, they’re mowing every week now so that too, is a threat to my sleep. More so than the motorcycle.

Pushing through New York which I made it to yesterday. I have just under 700 miles to go and about 400 of it will be crossing New York before I reach Vermont, then New Hampshire, and then finally ending up in Maine. When I’m done I’m gonna do some short rides others have made before I do my next long ride which will be from Finland to Greece.

Although there has been a slight improvement in overall energy levels since getting this bed, I was definitely tired today and still am, even after taking a nap.

I don’t think there will ever be a time I get into this bed and don’t think of how comfortable it is! My posture is perfect. I used to feel like my back was arched when I would be on my stomach on the old mattress, and I was bent toward the side when on my side, and sagging when I was on my back. I don’t miss that horrible thing! My only regret is not getting this mattress years ago or at least some kind of waterbed. Even a hard-side waterbed would be better than coil or foam.

Mate’s dev had a little contest and I won 50 gems for Amanda so that’s cool.

I always said that when he goes, I go, and I’m still 99.9% sure that’s what I’ll want to do. I still don’t see myself going first even though anything is possible. Then I had a dream that I went to live with Doc A after he went and I asked myself, what if the person was trustworthy and reliable? What if they were tolerant and understanding of my ways particularly when it came to my schedule and sleep issues? What if they had no problem with me not driving and were willing to take me where I needed to go? Would that make a difference? Probably not but it’s still an interesting thing to ponder.

Yay, my journal editing project is done! The entries are as correct as I’m going to get them. Even before I took on this project, any idiot with half a brain could have understood what I was saying but I’m a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing. So I wanted to get them as correct and as consistent as possible even though I understand they may never be perfect because there’s just so much content. But this is it! They are as they are.

Tom has always been unable to visualize things. There’s a name for that but I can’t remember it off the top of my head. Because of this, he wishes he could try LSD so he could see what it’s like to hallucinate. Pretty sure a sleeping pill of some kind they gave me at the crisis center when I was in my teens made me hallucinate. I don’t remember much about it, though.

I’m a little tired today but I still expect to hit the New York border at some point later on. I wonder how close I’ll be going to the mystery girl. Speaking of her, I awoke at one point thinking, wow, that’s the longest and most detailed dream I’ve ever had of her. But when I woke up the final time, it didn’t seem like it was long and detailed. I likely forgot most of it. All I remember was meeting in person with a bunch of fellow PBers and everybody was clapping and cheering for her because she finally came out of her shell. People went to hug her and she didn’t seem comfortable with that much so I stopped right as I was about to embrace her. However, she said it was okay and that she would love a hug from me.

In real life, I don’t see her ever coming out of her shell in cyberspace, and while I understand why, it would have been nice to learn more about her. If I’m curious about her, I’m sure others are too. But “coming out” is something that’s got to be up to her. I personally find it easier to be more sociable online because I can do it at my leisure and convenience and it’s easier to ignore someone you may decide you don’t like as opposed to when you have to live and work with them.