I wasn’t going to post today, but I have some feedback to respond to from what’s become one of my most faithful followers lately. Yeah, this is almost as funny as it is sad, sick, immature, twisted, childish and getting oh so incredibly old. Maybe they’ll get sick of me sooner or later, LOL.

Here’s the latest from that ever-so-loyal follower. As soon as I saw it was from a globalnet email I knew it was Tammy or someone connected to her. It says

“Youneed need to tell people the whole truth not your sick lying version. You live in the middle of no where because Tom knows that with all your past arrests and jail time that it is a metter of time before you start trouble with neighbors, like James. You are unique but not in your writing. You will always amount to nothing. you need to be committed, you should of never been let out of Vermont. or you should of jumped from a higher window and saved your family all this hurt and grief.”

Did they think I wouldn’t post this one, too? And why are they saying Auburn is the “middle of nowhere?” The place is fairly secluded being in the woods and all that, but Auburn itself is just a small town about 30 miles east of Sacramento. Google Earth would love to give you a tour. Maricopa, Arizona was the middle of nowhere, and Bly Mountain in Oregon was beyond the middle of nowhere. That was more like another planet. Oh, and we haven’t had any neighbor problems for years, BTW. Our landlord’s dogs get annoying at times, but even that hasn’t been an issue. I’m sure it will be in the winter, though.

James was never a neighbor either. He was/is the husband of Stacey, the apartment manager who “stars” in We’ll Meet Again Someday. I knew Stacey when I first moved to Phoenix but never met James in person. So my “fans” are either not reading this diary in much depth or they’re not retaining what they’ve read. Since being with Tom our only problem neighbors were the freeloaders in Phoenix and a couple of crazy old ladies who lived next to us in the duplex we were in for just under a year in Oregon. When you move as much as we have, you’re bound to get a few loud, rude and obnoxious neighbors along the way who just want to cause everybody around them nothing but problems.

I also got a very sweet message from Lisa on both FB and MS. I will not, however, post that here. Let’s just say she knows where I’m coming from and we aren’t quite the strangers that me and the other two are. Despite how much I love my niece I’ve chosen not to respond for her sake. If I do, the others will only make her life harder than it probably already is and she’d basically be seen as a traitor of sorts. See, the others are only half-sisters and so I can totally see where the others would treat her as a bit of an outsider, even if it were on a subconscious level that they weren’t even aware of. It’s why Bill beat the shit out of her; because she was the “other man’s” child. Oops, I mean the “other abuser’s child.”

Meanwhile, I will never be a sister to Larry, nor a sister to Tammy, nor an aunt to Becky, or an aunt to Sarah, but I will always be Lisa’s aunt just like she herself said. And I hope with all my heart that that girl experiences nothing but happiness in life, and if she doesn’t want to keep on going through the same old never-ending cycle of BS, then I suggest she dump her so-called family in its entirety. Forever.

As for saving my family “all this hurt and grief,” if my words are causing such hurt and grief, again I have to wonder why they bother to read them. Perhaps it is because deep down they really want to read this? Maybe they get off on it somehow. Or maybe it really is an eye-opening experience as to just who the crazy, lying ones in this family really are.

Not much in the way of chest pains or palpitations lately, or am I any closer to figuring out what causes them? Both nerves and heart failure make no sense. I was way more stressed out when Tom was first laid off yet I didn’t have palpitations much then. But if it was connected to my heart going bad, shouldn’t it have killed me by now? The chest pains are new, but the palpitations go way back.

Just swapped messages with Jessie. We’ve been friends since we were about 8.

Swagbucks reactivated my account. They said they deactivated it cuz I was “over-searching.” Oops! Better watch it from now on.

Later…

Tom feels it’s okay to reply to Lisa’s messages if she doesn’t live at home. I don’t know where she lives for sure, but due to her age and the fact that she’s married, I’d guess she doesn’t live at home. Lucky her! Like I said, she’ll only go through the same old drama forever if she keeps in touch with these people, but only she can decide who to associate with. She’s an adult and it’s her life. So, despite how much better off I believe she’d be, the last thing I want to do is bash her family directly at her. Her reading something negative I may have to say about them here is one thing, but I don’t feel it’s my place to tell her what she oughta do about them and just what I think of them. If she’s read this, then she already knows what I think anyway.

One of the funniest memories I have of her is living in Phoenix and how we’d talk on the phone and she thought it was just oh so cool that she had an aunt who let her swear. Like I should be practicing what I myself preach, LOL!

Not that my heart doesn’t go out to Becky and Sarah – or any other child that had abusive parents – but saying I don’t care about them is a hell of a lot easier than saying that about Lisa because I don’t know Becky and Sarah. I just know they’re too young to have pulled out of that mommy-knows-best mode.

It’s hard not replying to Lisa’s message. Maybe someday. For now, I think it’s in her best interest that I stay away. The others will only pressure her not to contact me and give her God knows how much shit.

I would think Lisa knows about my diary. The diary is my signature link that basically follows me from site to site, so she should’ve seen it on FB and MS. Besides, if they know about it, she should know about it. But just in case, I left a message for her on both my FB and MS pages.

Oh, and I got another email accusing me of thinking that I’m so much better just because I’m smarter, cuter and skinny. I want the truth told, they have demanded!

Skinny? That’s interesting. Especially since I’m not skinny, just not so fat anymore. I just wish the backs of my arms went with the front! Really, my shoulders and biceps are pumped with muscle, yet my triceps are all flab. That muscle is very hard to work and we rarely use it in our day-to-day activities.

And if they want the “truth” told why don’t they start their own diary and tell it themselves? At least their version of it anyway.

Still breezing through Portuguese and happy to say that they do plurals the same as Spanish.