My inbox on MySpace keeps telling me I have messages, yet when I go in to retrieve them there’s nothing there. What the hell’s up with that?

And why did Sarah run and change her s/n there? Maybe cuz it was a little vulgar, LOL? I sent a quick “hello” and said that she need not reply. Especially since I’m a virtual stranger to her, and what she has heard about me is no doubt mostly BS. The idea was just to say hi.

The truth is I don’t give a shit about her, her sisters or her mother. I just thought the idea of her linking to and reading my journal was hilarious, assuming she isn’t already aware of them and that she checked out my profile page.

But why did she go from I’m the mothafuckin princess bitches to Princess Sarah? To show someone the message that she didn’t want to see her vulgar s/n? To make me look bad? After all, starting off the message like I did with “Hey, mothafuckin princess, it’s your mothafuckin aunt” might make me look strange if her s/n is suddenly Princess Sarah. Or maybe she just felt weird having her aunt, stranger or not, seeing a vulgar s/n.

She’ll mention it, I’m sure. But I backed myself up in my MD diary by mentioning that she changed her s/n, even though I didn’t spell out what either of them was. Then again, I don’t think I need to “back myself up” with these people. Just get a kick out of her learning about the journals/blogs if she doesn’t already know about them. In a way, it’s kind of hard to believe she hasn’t looked me up. Then again, why look up an aunt you barely knew? But Lisa’s looked me up, so if she found out about the journals, and I would think she did unless she looked me up before I published them, wouldn’t she mention them to not only her mother but to her sisters as well?

Oh, well. As curious as I am, these are people I’m never going to see or talk to again, and if I do talk to them, it’d only be to discuss whatever Mom and Dad may will to me after they’re gone, though I doubt Tammy would let me in on whatever it is.

Gotta give Tammy some credit, though. Despite the fact that we’re total opposites, and despite the fact that she defended the man who abused her and her daughter and not me, and ultimately led to me being thrown in jail, she did do a lot to help me out. She was pretty protective of me when they were trying to railroad me in MA, too. If you fucked with me, you were fucking with that big, bad-ass bitch, too! She should’ve kicked the crap out of the people next door in the NHA, though. I was barely 100 pounds at the time as opposed to the 123 pounds I am now. I don’t think that’s going to change anytime soon either. Too much muscle.

Ugh, I hated that dive of a project! I can still hear and feel every bump and bang even after all these years. Every shout, every footstep, every door, every fucking fart! Ah, but it sure ended up getting me the hell outa New England altogether. The West may have its flaws, but leaving the East was the best thing I ever did, even though I wish I were in Florida during the wintertime. I just may wish I was there a few days from now, too. Yeah, a cool front is to be passing through.

Oh, some folks, both gay and straight, have asked why have lesbian lead characters in my books. Because we have enough books in this world with straights!

So let me get this straight. First I stop winning, and then I’m too poor to accept what I finally do win? I was 1 of 15 winners on SOS’s wholesale site to get $25 off my next order. The catch is that I’d have to buy $150 worth of stuff by the 7th. I know it’s just a ploy to try to drum up business, so I guess it’s nothing worth getting too annoyed over. Instead, I’ll get about $5 off my next $40 order which I’ll place in a few months for doing reviews.

Here’s something I’m trying not to get my hopes up over. Some lady called about the flooring earlier, saying she couldn’t see it till Friday.

But is this one for real? Or is she just gonna blow us off like the last two callers did?

Now here’s something I’m REALLY trying not to get my hopes up over. He got a statement from the pension people, and they may offer him his money in one lump sum when he’s 55 as opposed to paying him $200 a month. The reason I’m trying not to get my hopes up is that that’d make getting a house a MILLION times easier! We could really put down a hefty deposit that way. Would anything up there ever make things that easy for us, though? Hmmm… that’s hard to imagine.

I asked Tom where he sees us one year from now. He says he sees himself with an $11 job and his program making about $150 a month.

The $11 job seems reasonable, but I say there’ll be nothing from his program.

Where does he see us in 5 years? In a home of our own in a retirement community, though he doesn’t know where.

Where do I see us? Who the hell knows, though I think we’ll remain in NorCal. It may get too cold in the winter, but it’s a more economical climate to live in since it doesn’t get as hot as the desert or as cold as Oregon. I also meant it when I said I wouldn’t risk another long-distance move again without at least 20K.

Not much else going on around here. Jesse obviously wasn’t working today since we heard him leave and return on the motorcycle. We also hear that hammering from up top the mountain every so often. It must be a big project, whatever they’re doing because they’ve been at it for months.

Been reviewing both Spanish and Italian, since it takes regularity to keep fluent. Soon I’ll enroll in Portuguese 101.