I think Tom has lost his mind. He just described the weather we’ve been having as fluky. I’m sorry but there’s nothing fluky about it at all. I wish it was, but it’s not. It really is this cold this late in the year in NorCal. Yes, we have a few hours during some of the afternoons where it’s warm, but it really is only warm consistently from mid-June to late August. By then we have to start shutting windows at night. Last year we couldn’t start leaving them open round the clock till late June. I really truly believe that while most places are warming up each year, this is one of those places that’s actually cooling down.

Either way, I’m sick of this shit. I’m sick of freezing at night, especially in the bathroom, living room and kitchen cuz we’re too damn poor to keep it heated, and then being hot during the late afternoons. I wish it could be one or the other consistently, but we’re still 2-3 weeks away from that.

We need to stop dreaming and start living and think of this as our forever home. If it isn’t it’s going to be really damn close to it at the rate we’re going. We also can’t keep waiting for money we’ll never have. We’ll never have the 5-10 grand I’d like to have to fix it up. Therefore, we’re just going to have to think of ways to make these cramped quarters as comfortable as we can. I could sit here hating God – and I do – really, I’ll never forgive the bastard for allowing life to shit on us year after year and for ignoring every single fucking prayer of mine no matter how reasonable it may be like just to have a fucking job, and I know I’ll never forgive Him for helping to make our lives so shitty, but it’s up to us and to us only to make the best of the shitty hand we’ve been dealt. I’m never going to figure out what we did to deserve it and I’m never going to be able to change our fate either. So I might as well learn to just accept and deal with it because that’s all I can do.

Jesse had been pretty quiet lately, but Thursday it was the ATV and the dirt bike I had to listen to and yesterday it was the ATV and the chainsaw. What will it be today? Well, tonight will be the dogs, but fortunately, I’ll be crashing right around when they start up with their shit.

We still haven’t gotten the info we requested regarding our pension money. He says they’re just incompetent. I say they’ve got something to hide. We were supposed to be given the option of getting $200 a month starting next year for the rest of Tom’s life or a big lump sum. I think now, though, we’ll be told he can’t get the $200 a month till he’s 65 instead of 55, or the lump sum, but that if we want the lump sum now the penalty is that we can only get a few hundred bucks. I’d take it cuz by the time he’s 65 I’m sure they’ll tell him he can’t have his money till he’s 75. They’ll just keep dragging out all these false promises until we don’t get shit.

Yesterday we got me fingerprinted for the food subsidy thing. Amazingly I didn’t have to wait hours amongst a ton of screaming kids. Times have changed.

We also picked up the mail and grabbed some groceries, but that’s about it.

I chatted in Spanish on Facebook with my newest friend in Chile. It’s moments like that that make all the years of studying worth it.

Cocks and uglies. That’s all I can seem to get much attention from online, other than Andy and Christine. But Christine’s one of those in-between kinda people. She’s not a cock and she’s not ugly, but I’m not hung up on her like I am with Nane. If I was she wouldn’t follow my blog and keep in touch regularly unless she was as crazy as Marie.

One of these days I’ll get up the nerve to “punish” Nane with her story, then dump her. I’m just curious to see how long it takes her to give me her latest excuse before she, like Maliheh, goes and ignores me yet again.