Maliheh’s 54 today. Just when I was sure I would “punish” her by making her wait on a reply from me, I got the sweetest message from her. She thanked me for thinking of her and said she had to work and that part of being older meant no fun and no parties. “This old broad thanks you,” she said, also letting me know that she misses our late-night chats and hopes to catch up on those again soon after having to deal with one shitty thing after another happening to her. She also said she’d have to look in on my journal and see what I’ve been writing about, but I haven’t seen her on my tracker.

Then last night I had a nightmare about her. I have yet to hear about anyone having bad things happen to them following a nightmare I may have about them, but since bad things seem to happen to me after I have a nightmare involving myself or Tom, it’s got me a little worried.

In the nightmare, I guess I was expecting her. I don’t know where I was but I sat somewhere when I spotted a woman I thought might be her. Then she turned to me, recognized me, and we both went over to each other and hugged. Only it wasn’t a happy glad-to-see-you kind of hug. Something was wrong. She was very tense like something bad had happened. Next thing I know we’re on a boat. I guess we were sitting by the front of it because she fell overboard and was run over by it.

Another book sale. :) I’m pretty sure it’s Andy, though, who bought a copy. Still, that’s 4 sales and it’s better than nothing even if it’s not as much as I’d like and 3 of them were friends.

Tom’s going to be leaving for that job interview in an hour. Again, it’s hard to get excited when you know he’s probably not going to get it, qualified or not. I just can’t believe whatever’s up there would let him have a good-paying job in town here not even two months after being laid off. It just seems it would want us to struggle longer than that, but we’ll see.

Later…

There were two other applicants being interviewed for the job and Tom was the last one. They told him they’d try to get in touch with the temp agency that evening and that whoever they chose would start Monday.

And no one’s called. In other words, they chose the youngest one. Age is everything these days. Fuck qualifications. And so a job – and definitely insurance – continues to remain hopelessly out of reach.

If I ever wanted to feel loved by God and like He really listens to me, all I have to do is pray for what I don’t want in life and it’d be an automatic done deal.

But there’s something else that is at least somewhat good. It wasn’t Andy who bought the book. So while I’m pissed that he didn’t buy it like he said he would, it’s encouraging to have strangers buying my book. I was worried that after whatever friends of mine dove in, that would be it. Andy said he’d buy it, but right now his dilemma is not having the spare time to read it. I told him not to worry and that it would always be around. Meanwhile, I gotta guess it was a stranger because other than him I would think anyone who knew me who was interested would’ve bought it by now.

The rat’s gotten kind of fat like most of my rats seem to. I know I feed them too much junk and basically everything and anything, but if I only had two years to live I’d want to live it up, too. He’s still playful and loves his freedom and loves exploring, but he has slowed down a bit since he’s starting to get older.

Still worried about Maliheh, who I haven’t heard from today. Tomorrow marks one year ago that I first contacted her even if it wasn’t in the nicest of ways. And next month will mark 20 years since we first met. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, but harder to believe we became friends in two totally different states, LOL.