I’m now more convinced that my heavy fatigue is my thyroid and not my heart. I did some more reading and I really think the damn gland is atrophying. It fits with my symptoms. I think it started a few years ago. I wasn’t even this tired when I was in perimenopause. After years of inflammation or non-use, an organ can simply give up and fail. I’m going to bring this up to my doctor when I confirm my next lab time and see what they think about doing an ultrasound on it since it’s been a decade. I really think it’s been shriveling up and dying after being attacked for so many years and hopelessly struggling to spit out thyroid hormone. My fatigue has been so bad that I worry I’m not going to be able to handle the stress test. They can give you a medication to make the heart act like it’s exercising but I would rather not have to do that. Besides, that’s too much like what I went through with the medication years ago and I don’t want to be brought back down Memory Lane like that if I can help it.

I just want to be human again! I can’t go out for walks, I can’t go to the store, and I don’t think I’ll be able to play Bingo Tuesday night. I just really need to get to that appointment! I want to rule the heart out and continue narrowing things down. It still could be a combination of chronic fatigue and sleep apnea but right now I really do think the bulk of it is on the thyroid and I expect my numbers to be absolutely horrible. Wouldn’t be surprised if they were worse than the last reading of 22.

I miss being healthy and I miss my old life! Well, I miss my old body more than I miss my old life. In some ways, anyway. My life has been fine since 2011. It’s my damn body that hasn’t and sometimes it affects my mind as well.

I was expecting to wake up to a notification saying that I’d completed the heart monitor study and that I could take it off and send the monitor back but haven’t gotten anything yet. More than likely, I’ll have to wear it until the exact time and day I put it on last week even though I got a message a couple of days ago saying that my estimated last day would be today.