WBC count is still up in my pee and I also got to learn about something called occult blood which is something new to show up in my pee. At least as far as I know it is. However, I absolutely do not have a UTI according to my docs. I’m not surprised since the probiotics do seem to help with the burning sensation. They don’t make things 100% better but they help. A week or two ago I would have sworn I had a UTI, though. The thing is that there aren’t a whole lot of other possibilities as to what it could be. I just don’t see myself having kidney disease, kidney stones, or bladder cancer.

They asked how I’ve been feeling and as I told them, I haven’t felt different in general.

Then, as I was falling asleep, something hit me. It could be a tiny cut in the vag from when I was struggling to get the suppositories in and the applicator that came with a Gynotroff. Sometimes they would go in with ease and other times I kind of had to work them up there a bit. One time, when I removed the Gynotroff applicator, I could see a tiny speck of blood on the tip of the applicator. So I definitely cut myself at one point and it’s easier to do with older people because the skin is thinner. This could technically cause blood that’s invisible to the naked eye to show up in my pee. However, that was over a week ago and I would have thought it would be healed by now. I went back to Replens and as long as I lube the tip, the applicator slips in easily.

The bot says minor cuts or abrasions in the vaginal area can often heal within a few days to a week. Yet this is the only thing that makes sense though so that’s gotta be it, even though I thought of another grim possibility although it’s extremely unlikely. Uterine or cervical cancer. Both are slow-growing and are usually caught in the early stages. I know I’m a DES daughter but it’s still very unlikely and I’m not worried about it.

They’re going to do another urinalysis when I go for thyroid testing next month and I’ll make sure I don’t use the Replens the week before.

They also want me to return to the GYN but as I told them, I really need to save money and cut back on all the appointments. Besides, I just went a few months ago and they told me everything was fine.

I said that I thought burning from vaginal atrophy was just part of aging and while they agreed it was, they said that didn’t mean I had to suffer from it.

Yeah, that’s what the experts will tell you when it comes to anxiety yet I suffered for many years.

Sometimes there’s just no getting around things. Like things cursing your sleep for example. Again I snored myself awake and it’s quite a coincidence that I don’t start snoring until we move in here where there are fewer outside disruptions to my sleep. I swear something is using my own body now that it doesn’t have as many outside sources to disrupt my sleep. At least I’m not that tired.

Still nothing from Kim and I’m still not sure whether I was dumped or she lost her phone privileges. I would still think her sister would reach out to me and let me know if she was in trouble, but because I’d just told Kim something she wouldn’t want to hear, I’m still assuming I was dumped. If I’m wrong and she ever contacts me in the future I’m not going to respond. This is a great opportunity to purge crazy from my life so I’m going to use it to my advantage.