Ray returned a couple of days ago. He has his light blue SUV, which confirms that the dark one he was driving was just a rental and that he only came down for a few days because something was going on. When I saw him leave early that morning, it was to go to the airport. I’m sure I heard his plane flying over us.

I have been having absolutely horrible fatigue these last few days. The kind that’s debilitating and really messes with my mood. Sometimes it does anyway. It was so bad I didn’t even have the energy to work out or even do a journal update. Even though I don’t think this is fixable, I can’t fight my natural instinct to try to help myself so I asked my docs if they thought vitamin D a couple of times a week - since I don’t want to take it every day and risk pushing my TSH down too low, too fast - might help with energy levels. They agreed it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try and would like to test my vitamin D level again in a few months.

Yesterday I recorded an event on the monitor, but it was a round of lightheadedness and not those funny palpitations I often get. It frustrates me that of all the times I don’t have them, it’s when I’m being monitored.

Another thing that frustrates the hell out of me is that my brain just doesn’t work right anymore. I’m becoming more and more forgetful and slower to catch on to things. The pulmonologist asked if I had all my teeth and I said yes, forgetting that I actually had two of my back molars pulled. Then, when Irma mentioned Ray putting his house on the market, I didn’t realize at first that she was actually talking about his Michigan house - duh!

Tom is going to try giving up meat and while I could give up chicken, beef, and turkey, it would be very hard for me to give up fish because I love it so much. So I’m going to try making fish my only meat.

He downloaded and signed up for the DoorDash app, but doesn’t know that he’s going to be able to make many deliveries in this area. I think he’s gonna have to get a regular job. The problem is that everyone wants full-time workers.

So when he wanted to work full-time when we first got to Cali, all they had was part-time temps. But now that he wants part-time, he can’t get it. Ain’t life grand.

I’ve been waking up in the middle of my sleep and having trouble falling back asleep for an hour or two. And that’s part of why I have been tired. Last time around, it wasn’t just to pee, but because I had a disturbing dream. I was wanted for something, although I don’t know what. I was trying to keep as low a profile as I could. Tom and I were playing cards and he said I would have a long time of having to hang low, and just as I was going to say that it would be worth it, the door Tom forgot to lock opened up, and in stepped a detective. Tom didn’t say a word, and I quickly slipped under the table but realized I had already been spotted. It annoyed me that Tom didn’t do anything to get the guy out of the place. He never even said a word, which spoke volumes toward my guilt.

Then he softly told me there were many cops outside so I sat back up, knowing it was pointless to hide, and in sheer frustration and anger, I said, “Why couldn’t you have remembered to lock the door?”

I knew that whatever I’d done was going to put me in prison for years and not just months in jail so it must have been something serious!