How close is too close? This is the question Marie asked me if she were to move to Cali. My answer: I don’t know. Not without a “test drive” first. Meaning, we need to visit first, which she’d like to do in a couple of years. If we haven’t dumped each other by then for some reason, LOL, or if she hasn’t met someone she can have full-time, then a visit may give us a better idea of what’s too close and what’s not. I definitely want to at least visit.

I still can’t say for sure that we’d get it on, which she says would be okay with her since she wants to meet the person she fell in love with and isn’t out for just sex. And I can’t say how I’d feel afterward if we did. Like I told her, maybe I’d feel no better than a mass murderer, or maybe I’d feel like I was only human and I only gave in to my human side.

If I were single I wouldn’t hesitate to have a relationship with her and to tie the knot if it went well, and other than her moodiness, I see no real indication to say that it wouldn’t go well. But I am married and if she came “too close” I would literally be the girlfriend of convenience, only available to her part-time, and she would have to ask herself if that was enough for her if a “test drive” went well.

I know I both do and don’t regret having friends close by. I don’t want them to pester me, but I also like the idea of having each other around in case of an emergency. Had my friends been living here when we had our motel crisis, we never would’ve been homeless for 36 hours like we were. Jessie or Paula would’ve let us crash at their place till we could access our money again.

I suggested she do what I’m trying to do for now and not plan too far ahead. Let’s just take it one day at a time and see where fate takes us. I know I could never leave Tom – not for all the money in the world, not for nothing – and she understands and accepts this. I also know I do want to see her. But I can’t say, at this time, how close is too close.

Tom’s ear is still hurting, but he says it’s getting better. I wish there was something I could do to help! But we both know it just needs to run its course. He expects to be better by Monday.

Dorian read the stories I wrote with Marie and me in mind and he cracked me up, as usual, saying, “Thanks, Jodi. You got me reading porn this early on a Sabbath morning.”

On a serious note, he said he wouldn’t classify them as porn, however, and said that they read smoothly and he could picture the scenes in his head and didn’t have to go back and re-read anything.

Why medicate when you can meditate? That seems to be Eileen’s philosophy, and I agree that the benefits of meditation do seem to outweigh the benefits of medication, so I asked and she sent me tips and pointers on how to go about meditating. I’m starting with two 20-minute sessions a day. Don’t know if I can stick to it, but I’m gonna try!