Incredibly I awoke to zero cyst pain! It usually lasts for 3 days, but I have no cyst pain, no back pain, no tooth pain, no ear pain. I’m enjoying a 100% pain-free moment!

Don’t remind me that all good things come to an end. I know that!

We ran out of propane again, but instead of it being around 3am Tuesday morning, it happened at 9am Monday morning instead, so Tom ran out and filled the 5-gallon tank. That’ll hold us well past when the propane guy’s due to come which will be anytime on Tuesday.

I heard the ATV buzzing about and thought the pest would be a pest, but it never was. Could’ve just been going out to the main road for the mail.

Paul’s having a tough time now. The Chinese rejected his book, I guess. I just hope things get better for him. He’s such a nice guy and he deserves good things to come his way!

Although I still don’t like to post stories for free, I figured what the hell, and began posting again at Bookmania since it’s been so long and two of my friends are there. It’s always interesting to see what feedback people leave.

Swapped messages with Joanna on Facebook. She seems to be a really nice person. She’s reading my journal a little at a time and says she can relate to some things.

D said she was only kidding about going blond. Good, cuz I just can’t picture her as a blond! One of the things that attracts me to her is her dark Italian features.

My heart just can’t agree with my head and my head just can’t agree with my heart where that woman’s concerned! My head says to make sure we never meet for fear of what complications, if any, may arise from it. My heart, however, longs to give into its human urges the same as one would get a glass of water if they were suddenly thirsty or head for a bathroom if they needed to pee.

I’m pretty sure D’s having similar feelings. She doesn’t want to encourage cheating or to be a homewrecker, but I know she wants to see me as much as I want to see her and that her feelings for me are the same as mine are for her. And my feelings have deepened far beyond any expectations I may’ve had which wasn’t much! Actually, when we first got in touch with each other I figured that like most people who have led similar lives, she wouldn’t be very bright or mature. But she has shown that while she may not be perfect any more than the next guy, she does have a head on her shoulders. I believe she would make a great husband to someone she truly loves. Twenty years ago, maybe not. With her temper and desire for variety, I can see where it would’ve been harder for her to stay committed when she was younger.

Before Christmas, I would have laughed my ass off if someone told me they fell in love online, even if they did once meet the person a million years ago when they were just kids. But now I can clearly see that these things can and do happen.

If I suddenly had a million dollars and she needed half of it to save her life, I’d give it to her in a heartbeat.

To say I feel blessed to have someone tell me they love me so much that they’d take care of me financially if I were suddenly alone is quite an understatement! And so late in life, too. If it were coming from some drunk, druggie or sicko, then it wouldn’t be so special. I love everything about her from the way she combines my first and middle names saying it has a nice ring to it when she says, “I love you, Jodi Lin,” right down to the way she accepts me as I am. I am very definitely not just another crush to her, LOL, I’m coming to learn!

Well, for whatever it may be worth to her, had we been meant to be I’d have done everything I could to be the best wife I could possibly be. As long as I wasn’t abused or cheated on (and I believe her when she says she wouldn’t think of it) I would take care of the house and be there for her in every way possible.

Like I’ve said a million times before, it’s frustrating to want something I can’t have while at the same time, I couldn’t imagine living without what I do have. I’m in a “Teddy Bear” situation again (yes, that’s the jail guard that liked me that I liked as well). It’s what I’d describe as wonderfully frustrating. It’s nice to love someone and to be attracted to them. But it still sucks to not be able to live out those desires and fantasies even if you’re presently very well-loved and cared for and have been for over 15 years. I think it would be easier if she were a celebrity I had no chance of meeting, thus no chance of having to decide what would be best as far as that went, should the opportunity really ever present itself. Who knows, though, we may all be so broke for the rest of our lives that it could never be an option anyway. Or someone else could sweep D off her feet tomorrow or the next day. On the other hand, I could never fall in love with a celebrity or anyone else I didn’t know at least in some way. It could only be a crush in the case of someone I never spoke to on or offline, and that’s exactly what d started off as. I “saw” her at Valleyhead, but I did not “know” her. I don’t remember any words being exchanged other than the time she asked me to take a picture of her with Tammy.

Well, I love you too, Marie Louise D. And the answer to your question in the next life is yes!

Just got hit with some writing assignments they want done, so I better get to work! At least I get paid for some of my writing.