My computer glasses finally arrived and boy does this screen look a lot better! And brighter too, now that I don’t have to squint so much.

Although I tried and tried I just could NOT get D off my mind last night! Go away, I’d think to myself, so I can concentrate on my work. But I couldn’t keep her out of my mind for more than a few minutes at a time. Love and lust, especially lust, tend to level off sooner than most people would like, but not in this case. If anything it’s intensifying. That’s not only obvious by just how much I fantasize about her, but because of how much I want to get to know her. If I don’t truly love someone, I don’t care. Not as much anyway.

All night long I went back and forth between fantasizing about her and wondering about her as a person. Sure I’m madly attracted to her, but I’m also curious. Who is the real Marie D? Some may call it nosiness or prying, but I call it what it is in my case and that’s the curiosity that comes with really caring about someone. I don’t care what Jesse’s favorite kind of music might be, and I don’t care what kind of a childhood the cashier at the grocery store may’ve had, and I don’t care if the propane guy has political views similar to mine or not.

But I care about what D likes, dislikes, fears, hopes, dreams and what her childhood was like. I want to know it all from A to Z. The woman I didn’t plan on loving (yeah, life ain’t what we plan it to be) has captured my interest by capturing my heart.

Do I wish I could read her journal? You bet! I’d be curious as hell if I were suddenly alone in her place with her computer (unless she does it longhand), and not just about the parts that pertain to me, assuming she’s even written about me. It would take all I could do to keep from taking a peek out of respect and consideration for her and just let my curiosity remain unsettled. I’d have to sit on my hands! Like she herself said, she’s not obligated to tell people things. She’s got that one right! She’s an adult and it’s up to her who she shares what with. I can only hope she’ll want to open up and confide in me with time, and I do. I know that when it comes to my life I try to share it with others in little doses, for if I gave someone the full dose it just might kill them, LOL!

I felt bad yesterday because I thought she may feel like I was pushing her away, but as I told her, it isn’t how many emails she sends, it’s her jumping the gun and assuming things that annoyed me. But I told her this and she understands.

So Tom and I will have fun hanging out together till he crashes, then I will meet up with D in Never Never Land! I hope to meet up with her in chat land too, but with the way my schedule is lately, I’m going to have to try to catch her in the morning. By the time I get up and get functional, she’ll be going to bed.

Meanwhile, I’m going to be writing, working, and keeping my fingers crossed for her as far as getting the job she wants. It’d pay $12 an hour, though she didn’t tell me what it was for yet. If only Tom could get an interview even if it was for minimum wage ($8)!

Speaking of writing and how my articles are posted online and even in magazines, Tom went to search earlier for places to fill small propane tanks, and came across the review I wrote for one of our local companies! They made it look really professional, too.