Today pissed me off as well as put a smile on my face. It’s wonderful that I got yet another book sale (in the US), but I’m pissed that we’re about to lose over $200 to a new windshield. Tom was on his way home when a rock seemingly flew out of nowhere and hit the windshield.

Why do I have a feeling something’s trying to drain our savings? He can make the money back in just two days of work, but still, why do I fear something up there is going to start throwing these unexpected curveballs at us if he doesn’t get laid off entirely in the next few months?

Well, I’m not going to pray cuz we can’t pray for what isn’t meant to be. It’s also a waste of time to pray for what is meant to be for if it’s meant to be then it will be whether I ask for it or not.

Two or three hundred dollars isn’t much of a setback to us right now but if we have to keep throwing away money here and money there on unexpected things that arise, it’s going to add up. I mean I know it’s only a matter of time before we’re dirt poor and struggling again on food subsidies, etc. I just wish it could be a few years from now instead of a few months or less. But if I’m right about us being meant to be poor for most of our lives, this good trend we’re on isn’t going to last long. Four years ago I resolved to stop doll collecting and spending money like crazy like I did in Oregon so that we could build up a savings, yet 95% of our time here has been spent without a single penny in savings. If that’s not something trying to hold us back in any way possible, then I don’t know what is. This is why I highly doubt I’ll receive much of an inheritance. I’ve been teased with money enough times in my life not to get my hopes up anyway. The horses and the pension were just a couple of examples of that. I’d be willing to bet just about anything that in the last year or so of their lives my parents’ money and assets will be drained to nothing. They usually have 1-2 luxury vehicles but if they still owe enough on their condo, then any money from the sale of the vehicles and condo will have to go to pay off any debts they leave behind. Other than a few grand here and a few grand there, something definitely has not wanted us to have money so far. At least not for long. So I just can’t see that changing in our 40s and 50s, though we’ll probably both be in our 50s when my parents die. The parents I also wish could live forever.

I just feel bad for Tom. He’s gone from always being home to never being home other than to eat, sleep and piss. Of course we want him to be working and we love this temporary burst of money, but now he has to spend one of his days off dealing with the fucking windshield. I’m just glad he wasn’t hurt or killed. He said it hit the very edge of it where the driver is, so had it been lower things could’ve been much worse. He said it sounded like a gunshot when it hit.

Anyway, I wonder if the last book sale was from Norma. That’s Sharyn’s mother. I said hello to her a day or two ago curious to see if she’d at least visit my blog. Well, there were a couple of hits from New York, NY and while Norma lives in FL, that’s where Sharyn lives. One was a confirmed proxy and both were tagged as “new” visitors. They didn’t seem to go beyond my profile page, whoever it was.

But if it’s really Polly and Norma buying my books, why don’t I hear from these people? I can’t say that was Norma or Sharyn in my blog but I know Polly was in it and I know she’s been on Facebook. There haven’t been any new posts from her since I spilled the beans on her yesterday, but she doesn’t strike me as the type to be on FB every day either. Especially if she’s working. So she probably hasn’t picked up the message yet, but yeah, I couldn’t resist getting a good laugh out of letting her know that I know she visited me, LOL.

I guess you could say I’ve got an addiction going as far as blogging and tracking go, LOL. I love to see what suckers get picked up by the thing, but I know most people just don’t care. It’s a known fact that we’re tracked on most of the sites we visit. It’s just the nature of the web. And if I’m to keep promoting my books, then I have to remain public with my blogging.

What’s odd is that I never got one single hit from OD. Hmm…

The troll spent 3 hours on my blog on and off throughout the day beginning at 10:30 and ending at 6:00. But I know it isn’t about her being any kind of fan of mine who’s interested in what I have to say (unless it’s about her, Kim, Kathy or Alison), but about her rubbing her presence in my face instead. See me! Notice me! Acknowledge me! That’s what it’s about for her. Maybe I should claim the tracker’s not working. LOL, that’d piss the bitch off.

I’m really surprised she hasn’t been checking Tumblr.

I worked out hard today with about 150 ab crunches, arm work, 12 minutes of running, and 18 more of walking.

Nane’s back to playing games again, mainly by ignoring me. I don’t know what else may be going on in her life. She hasn’t posted on her wall in ages. I just know that I still have mixed emotions about our little fight. Yes, she has a point in that we’ve never met and about the language differences and all that, but the woman’s also very smart. Smart enough to know me better. I just feel like I reached out to her in a time of need and was dumped for it. I was honest with her, I trusted her, I turned to her in tough times… and then I was thrown away for it. Other than my husband I will never again confide in others about certain things. I’m tired of not being taken at face value and I’m tired of being pushed away and tossed out like yesterday’s trash.

Andy said it was a different camera he filmed those beach videos with that he had before I sent him the one I won.

Now if rocks that shouldn’t materialize out of thin air much less be able to fly would stop setting us back, maybe we could prepare more manuscripts of mine for publication. Regardless of who’s buying my books, my name is obviously starting to circulate and if I want to keep this trend up I gotta send more stuff into submissions and hope for the best. I swear, though, that if that rock had feeling and I could find the damn thing I’d rip the shit out of it! Instead, I think I’ll just go study some languages so… eso es todo para ahora.