I had a dream about Tink that seemed amazingly real. Enough to make me wonder if it was really just a dream. I mean I know it was just a dream. But was it a “regular” dream or was it Tink’s way of visiting me? In the dream, I never saw the rat’s belly to see if there was a bright white splotch on it like Tink had, but he was very dark brown. I don’t think we ever had a rat as dark as Tink was. I don’t know where I was in the dream but it seemed like I was lying down relaxing somewhere. The rat was curled up on my chest and it seemed that time had passed in the dream. Like over an hour. I was surprised the rat could go that long without having to run home for a drink, to pee, or a bite to eat. Next thing I knew the rat was running around playfully by my side and jumping up to nibble affectionately on my chin, something he used to do in real life. My dream self wondered if it was Tink come back to life and he scurried off as I was trying to guess what rat it could be – Tink, some other rat, or a future rat.

There probably isn’t an afterlife and it probably was just a dream, but when I woke up I remembered Andy saying that spirits couldn’t “do” anything for the first few days. Well, Tink’s been gone since Friday, and people like me are wide open to psychic forces and experiences. When you’re one of those who can tap into dimensions most people don’t seem to be able to tap into, even though we’re all supposed to have that ability, it makes you wonder at times.

The propane people were supposed to come yesterday but they never did. As far as I know, they never even called Tom’s cell to offer an excuse as to why. And so I’m hoping they’ll come today and also wondering how far is far enough? Really, how far do our neighbors have to be before they’re no longer an annoyance? I didn’t even make it to noon in peace today. By 9:30 Jesse started up with the racket – hammering, running power tools – and zooming in and out on the motorcycle.

I am sooo glad we’re getting out of here in a few months! Instead of getting used to his shit over time, I’m only getting more fed up. Maybe some would disagree with me, but I should NOT have to have sound machines on out in the country, and I should NOT have to know about it every time this little shit comes and goes! So again, how far is far enough? Or is there no such thing if you’re me? Well, if I’m so destined to have to hear it no matter where we go, I look forward to doing it in a house with adequate space instead of this little old dump with a landlord who’s living in the 1800s. He doesn’t do TV, he doesn’t do sports, he doesn’t do relationships, he doesn’t do computers; all he does is live outdoors and drive me crazy! Makes me wish it would rain again. But the weather’s going to be nice all week which means I’ll have to either throw on sound machines or listen to him hammering all fucking week. Like I said, after 20 years of this “noise curse” it’s obvious that my neighbors are going to be a nuisance whether they’re a few feet away or a few hundred feet away.

I should be sleeping through most of Jesse’s antics by now, but my schedule is actually backing up instead of rolling forward like usual. I’ve gone from getting up at 10:00 to 8:15 to 7:30 where I should’ve slept till 2pm today. I know myself, though, so tonight I’ll probably sleep 12 hours to play catch-up which means I’ll probably sleep till noon tomorrow. Of course I’ll have to sleep with the sound machine blaring really loud so the morning hammering session doesn’t wake me up. I’m amazed I was even awake enough to work out today, though I only ran 15 minutes and burned 150 calories. Did some lifting, too.