Most people who think of what could have been are often filled with regret. Not me. I’m nothing but grateful that what could have been the case a couple of days ago wasn’t the case at all. :)

My mother, on the other hand, is having a really shitty time of it. Not only is she understandably depressed since dad’s passing less than 6 weeks ago, but she fell and broke her ankle both inside and outside.

When I first called I asked if she got the message I left over the weekend, but she hadn’t gotten it. Then I told her about losing the rat and filled her in on Tom. When I asked how she’d been, that’s when she finally hinted something was wrong and called for Tammy to get on the phone. As soon as I realized she was there again, I thought uh-oh.

Despite the shitty circumstances, though, we had a nice talk. At one point I said I hoped she didn’t have to deal with the pervert, meaning my brother, then asked if Mom was still on the other phone. She said she didn’t think so, so we talked on for about 10 minutes and I got a kick out of how she said they’d tax you just to use the bathroom in Connecticut since that state’s taxes have gotten so outrageous.

Then out pops mom to say she was going to hang up now and let us keep chatting.

Oops.

So she heard me call her son a pervert and say that she really oughta get rid of the store and may not be able to live alone much longer. But as Tammy said, she won’t get rid of the store till she’s ready to because that’s basically all she has left. I can understand her wanting to have something.

I let them know I’d fly out if need be (even if I don’t want to see people I don’t want to see), though I realize there’s not much I could do. I don’t drive, I don’t know the area, and how much housekeeping could there be with a 79-year-old woman with a broken ankle?

Anyway, Dad would have been turning 81 tomorrow had he still been alive, so that’s got to be rough on her. And as always, I have mixed emotions about her. I feel bad for her. She’s only human and so am I. But at the same time, this is the woman who caused me, both directly and not, so much grief for me for so many years.

What were the parents of poor “Zelpha” thinking when they named their daughter Zelpha of all things prior to the 1940s? I like unique names, but not those that sound like another planet!

So I’m a quarter Russian and a quarter Austrian and I didn’t even know it. Yeah, it’s amazing what one can learn after so many years. Since they released the 1940s census records online (where Tom met Zelpha when he was checking Iowa’s records) I learned that both my grandfathers were born in other countries. My maternal grandfather was born in Russia and came to the US at age 4. My paternal grandfather was born in Austria and came over when he was 3. That explains my German maiden name, which is a combo (as many German words are) for “pale stone.” Wish I knew my great-grandparents’ names. I’d love to look them up as well and see where they’re from.

I was just about to say that it’s been a nice, quiet day (even though I didn’t get up till noon), but here we go with the gunning of that loud, obnoxious truck I’m so sick of listening to every day. And why so late in the day? It’s like something up there is making sure he puts his racket off till later due to my schedule. And the sucky thing about it staying lighter later is that this guy, who lives outdoors every minute that he can, can be outside fiddling with things and annoying me for longer than he could in December.

Our nice but incompetent propane guy came today and gave us what I hope is our last 100 gallons. We only put up with him cuz we like the savings we get with this guy versus other companies. I asked what happened to delay him and he said his eye doctor dilated his eyes yesterday with those drops that make your vision blurry. Well, that doesn’t explain where he was on Monday, but we’re glad he got out here, even if we probably would’ve been ok till next week. Meanwhile, I appreciated the compliments (even if I’d rather hear them from my special buddy) about my youthful and fit appearance. Yeah, I’m getting there and proud of it. :) It’s taken a lot of hunger and hard work. But I’m still a work in progress with a lot more work to do.

Oh no, not again! Just when I thought he’d shut up for the night, here goes that incredibly loud truck again. Landlord or not, I’m about ready to call up there and tell him enough’s enough already! We’re the ones paying, after all. This has gone on for nearly an hour now. I wish I was as noise-tolerant as Tom!

I had some spotting last night which I hope doesn’t become a regular thing. I ran and checked and saw that it was exactly two weeks after my period. I have heard that ovulation can cause spotting but it’s only happened to me once or twice before.

I’m surprised to say I’m surprised not to have heard from Nane yesterday, though she did “like” a wall post of mine. She’s still busy renovating her bedroom anyway and I’m sure work must be hectic for her.

The troll peeked in on me today. Made about 8 page views but still no entries of her own. I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.