Ugh! Molly asked me what one thing I said about someone online I regret the most. I swear I had her blocked. I swear. But when I checked her page she wasn’t blocked. So I blocked her again and hopefully, she’ll leave me alone and not start up again with pestering me. I’ve really been enjoying the hell out of not hearing from her and I don’t want to have to go back to scattered comments, demands, accusations and delusions from her on Ask, my blog, Facebook, etc. I deleted her question without answering it. Acknowledging her or being friendly to her only makes things worse sooner or later when she starts up with her 10 million demands and then starts accusing you of shit you know nothing about once she doesn’t feel like taking her meds. But I don’t care to torment her either. That only comes back to haunt me in the end. I’d rather just ignore her, and I wish to hell that those I’ve asked to please just let me go would learn to respect my wishes! Why is it I can’t stop getting attention from those I don’t want attention from and I couldn’t get more attention from those I’d like it from if I tried??? There isn’t anyone at the moment I’m not hearing enough from, but the point’s the same.

Anyway, Aly was surprised she went to Kim and not her on Ask, and I didn’t expect to hear from her, but I did. sighs Now I’m sure I’ll get hit with whiny anonymous comments (which can’t be blocked unless you disable anonymous comments altogether) saying shit like, “Why are you ignoring me? I’ve been nice to you!” Oh well, that’s what that little x is for. The less I mention her in public, the better off I am.

I realized something yesterday and it’s kind of a shame it took me 4 years to realize it. Well, it’s kind of a shame anyway. Like I said, offing his dogs would only be a temporary fix as he’d only replace them within days. But it hit me that we would never have had to step foot up there at his place in order to kill them. Knowing how the dogs traipse by here every day, all we would’ve had to do was just throw a piece of poisoned meat out on the porch here and they’d have come by within a day or two. It would just be our shit luck that Brandy would pick it up and not Whiskey. I’m just glad the mutts never bark when they’re roaming around loose! The dogs that would run around on our land in Arizona were anything but quiet about it. They’d come barking onto the land at seemingly nothing at all. The fuckers once woke me up over the box fan on high when they cornered a cat against the front door. I’m sure that cat, if it’s still alive, will be forever grateful to me for saving its life. The cat was able to get away and climb up one of the old mesquite trees as I scared the dogs off the land.

The weather’s been hot and dry and Tom is in for 2 hours of OT every day this week. Tiring, but the OT alone could pay the rent if he ended up having it every day for a month.

Jesse didn’t come down yesterday, but I did get hit with a barking spree. It was only for about 5 minutes but still annoying. They’re big dogs with big barks, though as is usually the case it was Whiskey barking and not Brandy. It was annoying enough. Especially when standing by an open window doing dishes as I was at the time.

Still worried we may be delayed in getting out of here, but still hoping I’m wrong and that we get moved soon enough. In the past, I’ve always had dream premonitions leading up to a move. I see bits and pieces of the place beforehand, but lately I’m not seeing much of anything that makes any sense. Except for a few dreams I seem to have stopped having dream premonitions for the most part over the last year or so and I wonder why.

We’re both searching more aggressively now that his birthday is just 9 days away and we’re going to drive by some places this weekend, though there are only so many ads for 55+ communities. I just hope that there really is less barking there and that if someone does let their dogs get carried away there will be someone who will help us get something done about it, unlike here where the troublemaker is the landlord himself. If I had to guess I’d say it’d be pretty comparable to the old batty bat we lived next to in the Oregon duplex that was on disability and with a medical dog. Freckles was the mutt’s name, who would be dead now since it was 13 years old in 2005. That’s another thing God was always great at picking out for us; not just the noisiest neighbors but the ones who are always home, too. Anyway, the dog wasn’t left outside round the clock but was an on-and-off annoyance during the daytime, which I’m figuring is the worst it will be there, like when they go out to run errands or they toss it outside when they have company 6 times a day and it barks at the door to be let in. I doubt there’ll be enclosed yards there, so they’ll have to tether the thing to a stake or railing. But yeah, I’m sure there’ll be some daytime annoyances from what will probably be one small dog, but it’s better than two big dogs left outside round the clock who sometimes bark for 8 or more hours a day.

Later…

Saw a single-wide trailer listed for sale for just 3K in a 55+ community and I both love it and hate it. I love the idea of owning again as much as I hate the idea of having to be the ones to have to fix what breaks and pay for it, too. But to think we could own something outright this weekend is a little mind-boggling, LOL. We’re definitely going to be out looking at places, that’s for sure. An aerial view of the place shows it’s adjacent to a wooded gully area far enough away from main streets and regular houses but that doesn’t have enough space for anything to be built on it. The trailers across the street, however, have their backyards back right up against the backyards of regular houses outside of the community, so they could very well have to deal with the regular barking and screaming kids.

Anyway, when you first look at the outside picture of it you think it’s nothing special. It’s certainly nicer looking than the outside of this place, but just about any trailer is. Then when you get to the inside pictures you’re blown away! They’ve made over 20K in renovations and the place is surprisingly new, modern and beautiful looking. New carpet, new central air, new paint, new everything. There’s also a community pool, too.

What I kind of don’t like is that there’s no dishwasher or garage. There is a carport, though, and enough space to take our shed.

What I really don’t like is that it’s another 1-bed/1-bath. I really want a 2-bed/1.5-bath. I would still prefer a real house to a trailer too, even if it were a nicer trailer, though I also don’t want to pay more for something bigger and nicer that sucks every last dime out of us. I know it’s not our only choice, but I’d rather own that trailer and pay $500 a month for the lot it’s on than rent this old dump for $825 with a landlord who may be a good landlord, but an unlikeable guy who’s rude and selfish at the same time.

The huge savings is what I’d obviously like best. I would definitely be wonderfully wrong about us struggling most of the time in something like that! If we lived there we could easily save a minimum of 10K a year. If we stayed until he retired, hell we could buy a real house in a 55+ community in any state and any country!

My biggest worry, however, would be that I wouldn’t get any sleep when on nights. Even if there was zero barking and no visiting kids tearing up and down between the places, I’d worry that car doors may really jolt the place being so damn close. Most people come and go and have company several times a day, so it’s both appealing and a turn-off. So is the idea of people hanging out and doing yard work and gardening so damn close.

What’s interesting is this dream I had where I was in back of someplace (ours?) and there was an orange tree in the corner of it. Well, the place is in Citrus Heights. Orange tree… Citrus Heights. So was this dream I pegged for being totally meaningless a sign of anything after all???