Yesterday turned out to be a wonderful/miserable day all rolled into one. Unless appearances are highly deceiving, it sure looks like we’ll be able to get a 2-bedroom/2-bath double-wide with a garage in a nicer 55+ park where barking should be less of a problem (I hope) instead of only being able to choose from 1-bedroom/1-bath single wides with carports in dumpier parks, even if the “dumpier” parks are still quite nice.

Where I was miserable was that I had to spend most of the day bedridden with what turned out to be the worst allergies I ever had here. I couldn’t go long at all without sneezing and my nose was so stopped up I could barely taste or smell. I was so damn congested that my nose dripped like a faucet and I went through nearly an entire box of tissues.

My honey was kind enough to go out and get me some Claritin. Not the Claritin D that gave me nightmares (not a thrilling thing for someone who has a knack for hers coming true) and snuffed my appetite the first time I used it. I loved that side effect, but they stopped selling it over the counter in most states cuz people like me started buying it for the wrong reasons. This stuff, though, is supposed to be more a preventative medication and not a stop-the-allergy-attack-when-it-starts kind of thing. Let’s hope something stops them cuz I’m getting really fed up with having these attacks every few days or so that I’m seriously considering smashing my nose. Yes, literally breaking it. Maybe then it won’t sneeze so damn much if it’s too mangled up to do so. Damn near smashed it right off my face yesterday but Tom talked me out of it.

Tom spent most of the day researching 55+ parks and both trailers and manufactured homes for sale. What was a little disturbing was that we emailed 3 people and all of them blew us off. I emailed two of them last week. By 3am when I was still suffering from allergies, it hit me that something could be punishing me for daring to dream and to try to make that dream a reality, and therefore trying to stop us. Tom thinks they blew us off cuz they’d rather talk on the phone, but I’m not going to let any cruel, twisted and unfair God that thinks we deserve to live like bums in someone else’s place stop me.

If absolute worse came to worse there’s no way we couldn’t get a 3K single-wide that would be both nicer than this place and ours. Not unless God saw to it that we were in a head-on collision on our way to buy it. In fact, Tom and I were laughing over how it would actually be smart to buy a place if he were suddenly laid off, as funny as that sounds. But if we bought a place for 3K and had to pay just $500 for the lot, it sure would be cheaper than paying $825 to stay here. Tom actually found about a dozen places going for 3K so 3K seems to be a magic number. It’s going to be ours too, once we move wherever and build our savings back up. I figure the two most important things in life to have is 3K and a bag of charcoal (if you don’t have a garage). The 3K buys you a new used car if yours craps out and it keeps you from being homeless if you lose the place you’re in at the time. The charcoal kills you if you don’t have the 3K to prevent it from happening in the first place like it almost did to us. Still, it’s funny and nice to know that even if this place burned down right now we still wouldn’t be homeless. We’d just buy our own.

Another thing we’re checking out is any complaints lodged against any of the parks. One complaint is one thing, but there was this one particular park that had like 6 different complaints, and some of them were pretty big. Like not having any water for over a day and not being able to reach anyone.

One park that looks promising borders a cemetery. I’ve always been one of those who are not bothered by what bothers most people (trains, planes and freeways) while I am bothered by what most people aren’t bothered by (kids, dogs, loud music). Cemeteries are another thing that spooks people out for some reason, though I don’t know why. They’re dead, for God’s sake! Dead people make way better neighbors than live people. Dead people don’t blast music, they don’t have dogs, and they’re always, always quiet as a mouse. So to those of you out there who are as dead as a doorknob, you are welcome to be our neighbor!

Back in my mid-20s, I didn’t know much about owning and buying places and about manufactured homes and 55+ communities and all that stuff. Not many that age does. I was remembering the nice doublewide manufactured home my parents got in the late 80s when they first went to Florida. It was only a 1-bedroom/1-bath but it was gorgeous and right alongside a manmade canal that opened up into the ocean. Sky and water were all you saw when you looked out of one side of the place. I’m happy they got to have it so sweet and fine without a fraction of the struggles I went through but at that very moment they were living in it up there, I was bumming it in the slums. I lived in one of the worst sections of the city while they did so, so much for each other when my mother got her inheritance. Just so, so much. My siblings lived in nice houses/neighborhoods, but my folks could’ve done more for me than just let me indulge in some new clothes and whatever when they’d blow on into town a few times a year visiting friends and family. They could’ve gotten me a modest little place near them in Florida and helped when things broke, but that would’ve defeated the purpose, wouldn’t it? After all, they weren’t just running from a shitty climate, they were running from their kids, too.

Many women these days are pressured into not having kids so they can save money, spend money on themselves, and chase some hotshot career without the distractions. It was just the opposite when my mother was young. I totally believe without a doubt that she had kids more for show than because she wanted them. My mother likes to live life and to do things, which is the very reason I opted out of having kids myself in the end. I’m too selfish to do more for others than for myself and I have no qualms in admitting it either. This doesn’t mean I’d let a friend starve in the streets, but I’m sure you get my point. Yet sadly, appearances and what others think have always been more important to my mom than anything else. This also doesn’t mean I wish bad things for her or anything like that. She is who she is. Everyone knows that, including me.

Later…

Chatted with Maliheh, who wonders if her neighbors may be lying in wait. The poor gal had to pay $500 to have a lawyer send their landlord a letter warning her to control her tenants or else she’d take matters to the next step, which would be civil court. She has two years to file.

As she said, she hopes they’ll back off, grow the fuck up, get a life, and quit while they’re ahead. But blacks tend to be sore losers and can’t seem to let things go very easily. They don’t like to lose and they don’t like to be complained on no matter how legit the complaint may be. So if they get evicted or decide to move before she does, they could go out in a very vengeful way. There’s also the fact that the courts still tend to side with blacks whenever a white person is involved no matter how much of a case the white person may have. Hopefully, she’ll get anything else they may do recorded (she’s got cameras set up all over her place) so that it’ll be too obvious for any court to ignore.

She’s determined to get on with her life as usual and not let them scare her from being in her yard when she wants to be and I think that’s a smart idea. Running and hiding will only send the wrong message anyway, and she was there first. Turns out she housesits. I don’t know why or for whom but she’s been there since 2005 and all she has to pay is utilities and Internet service. This explains a lot. I was wondering how the hell she could pay about a grand in rent and afford so much other shit on top of that. Especially if her student count is low. So I can see why she’s determined not to move until she’s ready to. She also said the layout of the house is perfect for teaching. That’s another thing I didn’t know; that she teaches at home. I thought she went somewhere to teach.