Oh, what a night I had last night! I ended up sick for the last eight hours of my day. Anything is better than anxiety, but it was one rough ride. It started with sharp cramps in my upper abs and moved downward. I had gas, cramps and nausea all night long. It’s a true miracle I never puked or had the runs. I felt so bad at times I actually wished I would puke.

I totally regret getting that burger and fries. I agree with Tom who says that it’s not so much because I had meat for the first time in so long, but more because I radically changed my diet that day and took in so much grease. From what he looked up, our food stays with us 24 to 72 hours. The junk food likely got stuck in my intestines and then yesterday’s food was probably forced to stay in my stomach longer than normal, thus causing the whole reaction. Another thing I had that my body isn’t used to was a big bag of popcorn. This wasn’t the diet kind either, but a full-size bag of buttery popcorn.

Ironically enough, though, getting sick has caused me to hit my goal weight for this week, which I didn’t expect to reach. So now I’m down a total of 6 pounds.

I slept horribly. I was too hot. I was too cold. Traffic was too loud. My belly continued to cramp. After about five hours of sleep, I got up to relieve my stomach again and took a lorazepam to help me fall back asleep. I slept longer but I woke up groggy because of the disturbed sleep and because the lorazepam was still in my system. These days I don’t take the lorazepam for anxiety since the anxiety has backed off, but every now and then I use it for sleep. Why not finish what I have left if I could use it at times?

I was almost afraid to eat today, but I can’t avoid it forever. Tom got me some ginger ale, so hopefully that will help. Better yet, I need to just stay vegan. It isn’t just meat that’s bad for me, but anything fried or battered. I just can’t eat like I used to and that shit wasn’t healthy anyway.

I have more to write about, but I’m still pretty out of it so I’ll do it later. Right now I just want to climb into my warm, soft comfy bed.