4” of rain is normal here for January, yet we’ve already gotten 7”, and there’s more to come in the middle of the week. I’m already sick of the rain, but it’ll stop the motorcycles once again. I’ve already heard them twice today. This is on top of cars and trucks that are too loud. I don’t understand why any vehicle needs to be so damn loud with today’s technology. I can see planes and semis, but regular cars, trucks, vans, SUVs and motorcycles? Then again, I don’t think I’ve heard a loud SUV as of yet.

I stumbled upon this bed tent that goes between your box spring and mattress. It gives you privacy and blocks out light if you’re in a college dorm or something. But I don’t need privacy and the bedroom is dark enough. I thought about adding soundproofing material to it but then realized what a pain in the ass that would be. I wouldn’t be able to reach my headboard shelves from inside the thing either. I’d rather lose light than convenience, so we’re probably going to get soundproofing material for the windows. It’d cost under $200 for both windows, whereas replacing them with soundproof windows would cost $500 each.

Not surprisingly, I woke up hot flashing a few times. I still slept well enough, and this is day 5 that I’m anxiety-free. Ah, I could get used to this wonderful feeling! I love it when noise is my worst complaint in life. I was, however, a bit lightheaded today and yesterday, but after I ate it got better. Some days I don’t eat enough, not because I’m trying to avoid eating, but because I’m simply not hungry. I’m not one of those who eats when she’s not hungry. Tom is, but unless you put a lobster in front of me, I’d prefer to eat when I’m hungry.

We went to Raley’s earlier and picked up a few things. Now that I’m 6 weeks from labs… bye-bye cholesterol. No meat, cheese or eggs till March.

After we got back home, we ate, changed the rats’ cage, then went out walking. It was cold, but sunny.

I’ll be dying my hair tomorrow. The question is… do I want to do my nails today or tomorrow? I’ll probably do them today. I hate unpolished nails.

Stacey’s now 48 hours away. I’m a little nervous about that, but just a little. I’m mostly looking forward to our meeting. I just wonder if I’ll have any dreams about it or dreams that may hint at how our little get-together will go, either tonight or tomorrow night. Sometimes I don’t always know when a particular dream has meaning or is a sign of anything till certain things happen, but I think in this case I would know.

I realize that her contacting me could be a ploy to get me in there so she can really tear into me. Or worse. Yeah, this may be getting really paranoid, but could she lie and say I threatened her or myself and have someone bust into the room to commit me to the funny farm to spite me? Would she? I’d say it’s highly unlikely but one can never be too sure of anything in this world.

I think she’s either going to admit or deny liking me, we’ll talk about my anxiety and strange memory that may be a dream, but that nothing will change. That’s okay, though, we don’t have to be buddies or anything more. It was stupid of me to think we might ever have been to begin with since certain things that were so obviously not meant to be for so long don’t just suddenly become meant to be in one’s 50s. I don’t know if this means there really is a God deciding our fate, but there’s a reason the Maries are 3000 miles away and the Johnsons were jokers… because they were never meant to be. Neither were the ones who were straight, taken, or just not interested in even a simple part-time friendship.