So just when I tell myself I really do gotta move on and remember that those who don’t give a shit about me aren’t worth putting any energy into, and just when I decide after the feedback I got to write the story I had in mind for fun, but not share it with Stacey, guess who calls? I totally thought I would never hear from her again!

She said she received my letter today, though I would’ve thought she’d have gotten it at the end of the year. Maybe she saw that I called last night and that prompted the call, but either way, she sounded very kind and caring and I don’t think she has any hidden motives. To say that life is full of surprises is a real understatement. I am both surprised and delighted by her call!

She said she was just checking in and that I ended my letter with “What have you learned?” and didn’t know if that meant that I wanted to discuss it further.

This was actually a rhetorical question after I was telling her that I learned that people aren’t always who we think they are.

She said if I was interested, call her back, and I will next week. As she reminded me, she’s not in the office on Fridays. I’ll actually leave the message Sunday evening so she’ll get it Monday morning.

Maybe I should never call and save time and money by never going to her office again, since as we both agree, my problem is physiological. I’m feeling anxious right now along with happy and surprised. She really did make my day. :) But I still hate to think of saying goodbye forever even though I know that day eventually has to come. We may never be buddies, but she was/is such a brilliant psychologist that if I ever did want to talk to someone I’d really hate to have to start all over again from scratch with someone new. At least Stacey has some background on me and knows I hate spiders but am a real sucker for rainbows, LOL.

I realize, however, that if we do meet that doesn’t mean the meeting will go any better than last time. Even if she did like me, she’s not going to change her mind. That’s okay, though. We don’t need to have sex, haha. But I understand we can probably never be just friends on or off-line.

Or maybe she’ll come out and tell me I was wrong and that she was never attracted to me in any way. Like I said, I may suspect, but she’s the only one that actually knows. I’m not going to put her on the spot either. I’d rather have her either tell me one way or the other or just remain curious and guessing that she might have been.